Two Irishmen are staggering home from the bar on a wet, rainy, miserable night. One gets hit by a truck and thrown into a ditch. The other staggers up and says, "Sean, are ye all right, laddie?"

Sean moans, "Paddy, I'm afraid I'm breathin' me last. Be a good lad and get me a rabbi."

Paddy says, "But sure, you've been a good Catholic all yer life, why do ye want a rabbi?"

Sean replies, "Paddy! Would ye be bringin' a priest out on a night like this?"

why don't anteaters get sick?
because they're full of little anty bodies.  

So this cannibal passes his buddy in the jungle.................

Quoted: A baby seal walks into a bar.  The bartender says "What will you have."  The baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

Way wrong, but funny  as hell!

What’s funnier than a dead baby?





A dead baby in a clown suit!

IBTL
This is some funny stuff though.

A guy, a sheep and a dog are on deserted island.

They have a tradition to go see the sunset every night on the beach. One night as they were watching the sun go down, the guy puts his arm around the sheep. The dog growls loudly, and the guy doesn't try again for fear of angering the dog.

A month goes by and the guy doesn't try anything again. Then one day, a ship goes down off the island and the lone survivor is a woman who washes up on shore. The guy gets all excited now that their is a woman on the island. After the woman is all washed up, the guy explains to her that they have a tradition on the island to go and see the sunset.

So, the animals, guy and woman go and watch the sunset on the beach. While watching the sun go down, the woman asks the guy "This is really romantic. Is there anything I can do for you because you have been lonely for so long on the island?"

The guy thinks for a second and replies "Yeah, take the dog for a walk."

Did you hear about the lawyer with diarrhea?



He thought he was melting.


Blind guy goes into a store, picks up his seeing-eye dog, and begins to spin him around on his leash. The store manager comes over and asks the blind guy "Can I help you", and the blind guy says "Nope, I'm just looking around."