And that troll won't even try to defend his comments.  What a guy.

I had to read it a few times myself, mostly because it was completely incoherent.

Hang in there buddy.  Don't throw away 61 years over some hard times.  Your love ones deserve more and so do you.

So how did you get the name 'Sparky' anyhow?

I wish my brother would have called me instead of walking out in the front yard and blowing his brains out....

Don't even think about it, you will cause more grief to your family than you can ever imagine. Seriously, talk to someone, friends, woman, a professional....

Think man, think....and pray.

I don't really know what to say other than that if you ever, EVER want to talk to someone about anything, you can always IM me. I'll help if  I can and pray if I can't.

Good luck, there are people who care about you.

please friend don't take the easy way out think of those who you would leave behind.

each day we have here is a blessing and we should thank the lord each day for the thing's

he has blessed us with you i'm sure if you look into the eye's of your grandbabies you will know

they are worth living for. find comfort in your family and in the lord and the rest tends to work it's

self out. trust me when the lord is ready for you to come home he will send for you but i'm guessing you

still need to wait 25 or 30 years. your in my thoughts and prayers stay strong friend

I will give you several reasons not to:

You already know how bad it is for the surviving family, having experienced it.

You have children, and grandchildren.

You have your dogs.

You have friends here - you may not see them, but read the responses, they are here.


I deal with the families of people who have done this several times a month in my occupation.  It is almost never helpful to the surviving family members.

Quit the booze, it is not helping you, and it sounds like you don't have the money for it anyways.  Get that job anyways, a living grandpa is far better than a dead one to grandchildren.

Sorry not trying to sound like a dick, but taking your life is something a coward does.

I've lived in the aftermath from my grandfather, it really fucks with the people that are left behind. Those people push their fears on their kids, even though they don't think it does.

My family still refers to it as "the gun cleaning accident".

You're not the only one that's not  doing good in this day and age, there are a lot of people out of work and hurting.

I don't know you or know anything about you and your situation, but if you feel like chatting. Feel free to send me an IM.

It take more balls to live than to take your life.

Because it's a one way ticket to hell for you and those that love you.  WalMart greeter will not make it onto your obituary.  Suicide will.

Who knows where you will be in a year?  I was told by a doctor a few years back I was going to be crippled due to an injury sustained fighting inside a shitty little room outnumbered 3 to 1.  My right arm got pretty jacked up, and I thought my career was over, along with my ability to participate in many of the things I love in life. I was told I wouldn't ever be able to throw a baseball again, much less rockclimb, lift weights, or do anything really physical.   I overcame it, despite every medical professional I saw saying it wasn't possible.  I went back on active duty with the Marine Corps, and have pulled all 300 (perfect score) physical fitness tests since. I lift weights every day, and I participate in pretty much everything I did before. I credit G-d and my willingness to refuse to accept less.  Fight man, til your last moment...fight and refuse to go down.

-Ben

I cannot agree more. These men and women are an amazing bunch. I'm sure nearly every damn one of them would be willing to talk to you when you are in need. Don't suffer through this by yourself. Find someone you trust, or find someone here if you want to speak to a stranger. We're all here for you. Life isn't cheap, so don't throw it out.

When you said "making it a triple", were you referring to you and the two dogs?
 
Obviously, your dad's suicide made a lifetime impression on you.  A bad one.  

Don't do that to your daughter.

I was one for about 6 months. It wasn't all bad. I made about $6,000 during that time*. Since i live with my parents, I was able to keep about 2/3'ds of my paycheck to use as I saw fit. I met my first love, learned just how many criminals there really are around here, made quite a few friends, etc.

I wouldn't mind going back, I'm just going to try other things first.

*$7 an hour and five 7 hour shifts a week.



I've felt depressed a lot too. My family is what keeps me going. I don't have a wife or kids but my parents have already lost one child to death & another to being a worthless, lazy cocksucker. I couldn't bear to leave them all alone. I also enjoy funny movies, reading, etc.

You've just gotta put one foot in front of the other & keep on trucking. I'm not sure what else to say except I hope everything works out for you.

This,



As a Wal-Mart door greater you were banging all types of bad ass chicks, if I remember the threads correctly.




Also unless you are terminally ill why do it? If you are around negative people all the time it just perpetuates the negative vibes man.



You have your health still. many of us dont and we get by even though its hard.



Now there is a Emergency home surgery thread that we need to see the end to so why miss out on that?

There is a pit thread if you want to join in on his heartless ass.

OK , first off , if you're broke , drinking alcohol is the WORST thing you can do for yourself. Booze costs money , and money ain't gonna earn itself.
Second , taking your own life is the WORST thing you could EVER do to your loved ones. It doesn't help anyone , not even you , as suicide is unforgiveable , and the hereafter(if you believe as such) would prove to be a far more unpleasant place to be.

Third , WTF , MAN??!!?? You would seriously rather die than be a door greeter at Chinamart?? You think it's more important to leave some earthly posessions to your grandkids than it is to be here WITH them??? You drink and get into arguments with your loved ones rather than getting out of the house and trying to work your way out of your predicament?? "Why not to"....WHY? Why the fuck would you want to ruin the opportunity to SURVIVE by taking away a father and grandfather from your FAMILY?

When a man starts out in life , he starts with nothing , and works and earns his way up the ladder of life. Guess what? Sometimes an unforseen thing comes along and knocks his ass right off the ladder. What then? He gets back up and starts climbing again.

This is NOT the "end" , there is NO "last resort". What you have , right now in front of you , is an OPPORTUNITY to get back up and start over. If that means being the door nazi at wally world , so be it. Things will get better if you make them so.

Appreciate every day..there will come a time when you will have none..

Quit.

Hey brother.. don't let the walmart hater assclowns get to you!  Summertime is the greatest.. the local street meat strolls in wearing short shorts & belly shirts











AND... you'd get a discount on ammo

Don't do it.

My dad is 77 years old and he went from making 400k a year to making $12 an hour as a security guard and lives in his step daugther's basement with his wife that hates him now that he is poor. He did not kill himself and neither should you.

Hey Sparky, its all good man, its all good.
Don't seem like it now, but things will get better, just give it a bit of time, had lotsa bad shit my way, worked out man, as it will for you.

Keep it togeather man, quit drinking and get some help. There are alot of people just waiting to help you, call someone.

Please don't forget that life is a gift....and as many have said here, you never know where you'll find yourself in a year, and it sounds like it can only get better moving forward.  And don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help when you need it.  When I'm at my wits end, I just pray - I mean really pray with all my heart and soul - and God always guides me.

May God bless you, Sparky.  Prayers sent.

Maybe no the best way to word that.

What about your family? Don't be selfish. Get help.

Thought I'd drop in and say DON'T DO IT!

Hang in there, buddy, we're here for ya!

This may sound stupid but I'm serious.
Take the time out to really watch a Baseball game, either on tv or in person. It is a timeless game and gives you time to reflect on the good things in life....
After it's over I bet you are gonna want to see the season through to see how that young pitcher pans out

good luck sir!

My Gramps did this and believe you me Sir......you do not want to do this .  I would give my left one and every gun I own to hug that old rascal once more. Wish I lived closer to you...... friend.

Thanks to ALL

It sure got "dusty" in here durning the night.

Lots of good advise and help.

and just so you all know,  I do know Jesus and that has always helped

Last night I was feeling sooo alone

My son had taken over my boat payments a year r so ago,,,,just got it paid for and now may have to sel it
to keep "the farm"....He's upset,,doesn't understand,,,,,,and having the boat was what I'd planned on when
I retire.

You guys and gals on here always "give" the unexpected,,,,,

Thanks again            Sparky

Your daughter is the perfect person to talk to. You'll be surprised that when you open up to someone they'll often have been thinking the same things as you. I've felt like this before and it seems hopeless, but you'll be surprised by how many people can relate and will help if you let them know whats on your mind. It will also feel like a 1000lbs has been taken off your shoulders and open up communications that have long been closed off because of pride on both sides. People are often too afraid to just speak to one another.

My father and I always get into arguments too, but all it took was him saying "I love you" to me after it had been so long. I really felt it and it brought us closer again. Do we still fight? Hell yeah we do but its fine.

A friend of mine took his own life through drug addiction and it still affects me and his family is still crushed years later. You are as old as you think. Look at whats going on right now. We are a bunch of strangers supporting you because even this group of F'd up people who talk about killing cats, throwing rifle's down drive ways and banging anything that moves can still see when someone is in need.

How about looking over all you family photos and deciding what kind of person you want them to remember.

A person I knew (hadn't seen for 10 yrs.) did himself. While I walk past his pathetic ass (funeral), I see short note written by his 8 yr. old daughter. "Why Daddy, Why?". Do not put your family through that pain. Stand up and walk out of the shadow that you see. Or get some professional help if you can. Either way, don't hurt your family.  Surv

By you coming on here you are actually showing that you really DON'T want to kill yourself. Also if you think about it, What did those dogs do to deserve being killed.

Killing yourself is ALWAYS the cowards way out (this may not want to be something you want to hear) but people will say you are a coward, you couldn't be a man and suck it up. Your grand kids will have to explain why to their friends why they dont have a grandfather. This will bring up memories and they might end up thinking they can kill themselves. Do you want your grandkids to kill themselves? Do you want them to think oh.........grandpa did it why cant I!

If you have to ask why you shouldn't kill yourself you already know you shouldnt and that you dont want to but just want other people to tell you not to. When people do commit suicide its more work for everyone else then you. You will leave your debts to your kids, they will have to pay for the funiral, they will have to pay for your truck, they will have to worry about not having a friend (you) to talk to. They wont care if you work at walmart etc...

What drives me crazy are all these people who CLAIM to have it bad however its not bad at all, Its mostly their pride (they don't have the ideal job, they cant pay their expensive car payments, etc...) When it comes to your truck, sell it and buy something cheaper, get the job at walmart, get the job at the gas station etc...  Suck up your own pride and do it for your kids, show them that it doesnt matter if you have the "Ideal" job or if you have the "coolest" car etc.... If you do this and not worry about what other people think then those things wont matter at least you arnt these guys.






Those are starving children in Africa....... they would give anything they had to be where you are right now

Then you have people like these who also have it worse then you and they wouldnt even dream of killing themselves!










Can you honestly say you have it worse then this?

Dude, a reason not to??? How about life itself? Whos going to teach your gransons how to shoot?? Think about the trauma for them.

@ sparky43040

I'm very close to your age.
IM me, if you just want to talk about.....anything

~R

hey sparky... you only get one life... even if it sux for a while... your only here so long, why make it any shorter than it is... youll never get to see your family again... times can be tough, but down the road, youll be glad you didnt.  

where in ohio are you?  IM me if you want to vent or need someone to talk to.

wow there was another guy just a couple days go in the WA hometown forums asking us why he shouldn't off himself.

i could see why. some of you make me want to kill myself

This.  Set an example by pulling yourself out of this funk and taking back your life.  Good luck man.

This pretty much sums it up.

Thanks for letting us know you were OK today.  You have been in my thoughts and prayers since I read the OP.

The boat thing is a bummer.  There is some very depressing crap going on all over the country right now.

Don't let the material things beat you down man.

And don't scare me again like that.  

Sounds like you're on the right track.  Don't let it get out of hand.  

Ending it would be the most selfish thing.  As stated...get any job, and keep in mind that it's better to be alive and struggle than dead and mourned.

Learn to Brew

lets let this unpleasentness end. it's a new day.