So my GF is out but she won't come get her crap from my house. - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - So my GF is out but she won't come get her crap from my house. (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 9/4/2008 3:17:31 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
I'd send her a certified, signature required letter, saying she has 30 days to come pick
it up or you will donate it to a local charity

QFT.

dont move it to her moms for her.

also dont sell it b/c a lot of places you have to give the money to the state.

Posted: 9/4/2008 3:19:22 AM EDT

[#2]

Talk to an attorney and get his/her advice. If you don't, I'll get to see Judge Judy jump all over you. Good luck.

Edited to add: NO emails, texting, phone conversations, no written contact, and no arguing. Don't leave her shit at moms house. Mom will back up her little angel in front of Judge Judy and say you and your buddies never put angel's stuff on the porch.

LAWYER!!!!

Posted: 9/4/2008 3:25:55 AM EDT

[#3]

Put it out on the curb and tell her that she needs to come get it before it gets wet or before garbage day.

Posted: 9/4/2008 5:15:48 AM EDT

[#4]

Box her stuff up and ignore her.

Posted: 9/4/2008 5:23:42 AM EDT

[#5]

I would not put it on the curb, thats my legal analysis on it.

Posted: 9/4/2008 5:38:46 AM EDT

[#6]

Box it up, put it on her mother's porch (call first), and then change the locks on your place.

Be over with the whole mess.

FINISH IT.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:09:38 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
get a couple of friends to go with you and take it to her moms.Have her parents go through it with you and check off on everything being there.mayeb even have her mom sign a reciept or something.This gives you two people for a witness and a signed reciept that you delivered the stuff to her parents. She could very well be leaving it at your house to keep some sort of attachment to you in hopes of getting back together.Women play games!!!!,they play screwed up crazy games and you cant win .Just get rid of it in a safe way that covers your ass,change your door locks and start dating her younger sister.

+1 This is pretty good advice, but I would go one step further. If you are friends with any police officers or deputy sherrifs, I would have them accompany you to her moms when you know she is present to hand over her stuff. This helps keep the peace and you have a neutral witness to the transaction.

Maybe your state is different, but I seriously doubt the storage company will allow you to set up an account in her name. They will set it up in YOUR name and then you will be responsible for the bills etc.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:11:11 AM EDT

[#8]

Look at it like this for a minute. You two broke up real easy, she leaves her stuff and will not come get it. I have seen this played out before. She got out easily and nice so you are not pissed and have no ill will. She now is out playing around with her friends and probably a bad boy. She will not answer and text back because she feels guilty about what she is doing. When she is done playing she will come crawling back and the excuse will be that she left her things there because she had to figure things out and now she wants you back. Pack it up for her, text, email, call, mail her and let her know it is packed and ready for her to pick up. You now have a trail that will hold up in court. No more contact. As long as you are texting and calling she thinks you are still on the hook and she can reel you in at anytime. At the end of 30 days take the stuff to where she is residing and give it to her or her parents. Document what you put into the boxes with pictures or video camera. She is trying to play you. It is up to you to control this situation.

AccurateOne

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:13:31 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Want to make her miserable?

Don't press the issue for a while.

ewwwww I like it.

ETA: But do I do with it in the meantime?

get all her crap packed up and leave it in an unused/spare room, basement, porch etc.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:13:43 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
get a couple of friends to go with you and take it to her moms.Have her parents go through it with you and check off on everything being there.mayeb even have her mom sign a reciept or something.This gives you two people for a witness and a signed reciept that you delivered the stuff to her parents. She could very well be leaving it at your house to keep some sort of attachment to you in hopes of getting back together.Women play games!!!!,they play screwed up crazy games and you cant win .Just get rid of it in a safe way that covers your ass,change your door locks and start dating her younger sister.

+1 This is pretty good advice, but I would go one step further. If you are friends with any police officers or deputy sherrifs, I would have them accompany you to her moms when you know she is present to hand over her stuff. This helps keep the peace and you have a neutral witness to the transaction.
Maybe your state is different, but I seriously doubt the storage company will allow you to set up an account in her name. They will set it up in YOUR name and then you will be responsible for the bills etc.

Now that's not neutral. Police officers don't like to baby sit other folks problems.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:14:23 AM EDT

[#11]

eBay.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:18:34 AM EDT

[#12]

1-800-got-junk

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:20:49 AM EDT

[#13]

I went through this.

Don't call the cops.

They'll ask all sorts of questions and then they'll want to get "her side of the story", up to and including having them ask about domestic violence.

Then the po-po will make a decision, more than likely for you to keep her stuff until she can make time to come pick it up.

If I had to do it all over again I would have called her mom and brought her stuff over with a list of items, keeping one for myself.

I had to keep two pick-up trucks worth of stuff in my bedroom and the living room as I had taken in a room mate.

The only plus was that we got to use her cooking stuff for about 4 months.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:20:54 AM EDT

[#14]

I'd cut off all contact with her for a month and not do a damned thing with her stuff. It'd piss her off the most.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:21:17 AM EDT

[#15]

User Info IM User Email User Reply Quote Report

Why should you have to pay to store her stuff? Call her and say she has 30 minutes till you throw it to the curb.102

The foregoing is the best advice you can receive if you want:

1. a small claims action;
2. to piss her off so that she gets back at you in ways that you cannot imagine;'
3. you want her to make up stories;
4. you want her to get a restraining order that will require that you give away or sell your firearms.

The advice is what keeps lawyers in business. Thank you.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:22:55 AM EDT

[#16]

If it was a "clean" breakup then take the high road.

Rent the unit for $50. Move her stuff in.

Do not call her, even to tell her you have done this.

Change the locks. You probably won't do it since you "trust" her but I figured I'd say it anyhow.

Wait for her to go batshit crazy that you're not calling anymore (which is a factor, if not the main reason she is pulling this).

Next time she contacts you, give her the storage info and wish her the best in life.

Enjoy sobbing and meltdown over the fact that you're not tripping over yourself to get in touch with her and have moved on.

Or you could just keep calling her and playing her games.

Woman are evil. I'm a fan of them...but they are still evil.

ETA: I didn't notice the "Mom" option in the poll until just now. If Mom is in the picture then you should drop it off there. The rest of my spiel stands. Good luck.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:23:18 AM EDT

[#17]

I'd video record any moving/transport etc. and then store it and provide her with the information. If she doesn't want to go get it - her loss. Anytime you throw something away in these circumstances, you will later learn that some item you threw away or are alleged to have thrown away is some sort of priceless heirloom or cellectible.

I gave this advice to an attorney recently who was advising a landlord client. The client did not want to follow the advice on the grounds that all of the stuff was junk (of course it is but that won't keep the owner from claiming otherwise). Needless to say, those folks are now in litigation and the tenant is claiming the destruction of thousands of dollars in property - far more than the lease would have brought even if the tenant had paid.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:24:15 AM EDT

[#18]

Here is the New Mexico law that covers abondoned property by renters, not sure if it applies to cohabitation but maybe it helps:

47-8-34.1. Disposition of property left on the premises.
A. Where the rental agreement terminates by abandonment pursuant to Section 47-8-34 NMSA
1978:
(1) the owner shall store all personal property of the resident left on the premises for not less than
thirty days;
(2) the owner shall serve the resident with written notice stating the owner's intent to dispose of
the personal property on a date not less than thirty days from the date of the notice. The notice
shall also contain a telephone number and address where the resident can reasonably contact the
owner to retrieve the property prior to the disposition date in the notice;
(3) the notice of intent to dispose of personal property shall be personally delivered to the resident
or be sent by first class mail, postage prepaid, to the resident at his last known address. If the
notice is returned as undeliverable, or where the resident's last known address is the vacated
dwelling unit, the owner shall also serve at least one notice to such other address as has been
provided to the owner by the resident, including the address of the resident's place of
employment, or of a family member or emergency contact for which the owner has a record;
(4) the resident may contact the owner to retrieve the property at any time prior to the date
specified in the notice for disposition of the property;
(5) the owner shall provide reasonable access and adequate opportunities for the resident to
retrieve all of the property stored prior to any disposition; and
(6) if the resident does not claim or make attempt to retrieve the stored personal property prior to
the date specified in the notice of disposition of the property, the owner may dispose of the stored
personal property.
B. Where the rental agreement terminates by the resident's voluntary surrender of the premises,
the owner shall store any personal property on the premises for a minimum of fourteen days from
the date of surrender of the premises. The owner shall provide reasonable access to the resident
for the purpose of the resident obtaining possession of the personal property stored. If after
fourteen days from surrender of the premises, the resident has not retrieved all the stored personal
property, the owner may dispose of the stored personal property.
C. Where the rental agreement terminates by a writ of restitution, the owner shall have no
obligation to store any personal property left on the premises after three days following execution
of writ of restitution, unless otherwise agreed by the owner and resident. The owner may
thereafter dispose of the personal property in any manner without further notice or liability.
D. Where the property has a market value of less than one hundred dollars ($100), the owner has
the right to dispose of the property in any manner.
E. Where the property has a market value of more than one hundred dollars ($100), the owner
may:
(1) sell the personal property under any provisions herein, and the proceeds of the sale, if in
excess of money due and owing to the owner, shall be mailed to the resident at his last known
address along with an itemized statement of the amounts received and amounts allocated to other
costs, within fifteen days of the sale; or
(2) retain the property for his own use or the use of others, in which case the owner shall credit
the account of the resident for the fair market value of the property against any money due and
owing to the owner, and any value in excess of money due and owing shall be mailed to the
resident at his last known address along with an itemized statement of the value allocated to the
property and the amount allocated to costs within fifteen days of the retention of the property.
F. If the last known address is the dwelling unit, the owner shall also mail at least one copy of the
accounting and notice of the sums for distribution, to the other address, if provided to the owner
by the resident, such as, place of employment, family members, or emergency contact on record
with the owner.
G. An owner may charge the resident reasonable storage fees for any time that the owner
provided storage for the resident's personal property and the prevailing rate of moving fees. The
owner may require payment of storage and moving costs prior to the release of the property.
H. The owner may not hold the property for any other debts claimed due or owning or for
judgments for which an application for writ of execution has not previously been filed. The owner
may not retain exempt property where an application for a writ of execution has been granted.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:26:15 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Why did you guys break up?

Because of crap like this.

Now she won't answer my calls or text me about it. I'm guessing she just wants me to do it for her or something.

Either that or she is just not really wanting to get out yet. She's the one that left too that's why I don't know why she is being so difficult about this all of the sudden.

This was an realatively ameanable break up and I really don't like being an asshole but she sure knows how to bring it out in me.

Just take it to her mother's house and leave it on the porch.
Don't be a dick, and don't waste any more time or money on this twit than you already have.
Be done with it.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:39:00 AM EDT

[#20]

Be firm with her, tell her your position, and do not waver from it. Offer a time/deadline for her to get her stuff, try to make sure that you are there when/if she does.

If she doesn't come for it, donate it and get a charitable tax receipt.

I went thru this once. My ex took off to visit/help her family, and never returned. She left in August 2000. We had bought a house together, she brought in a shitload of animals, and ran up a mountain of debt.

She leaves, with the door cracked open for her (so to speak), but after about six months, it's apparant that it's permanent.

Two years go by, I'm moving on with my life, found homes for those animals, found a great girlfriend (the woman I'm still with), we decide to take the next step and get a place together.

Meanwhile, the ex still had not come to get her shit. I had papers drawn up (thur a family atty), sent them to her in the state where she was living. She signed the house over to me, I sold it as fast as I could.

As she never came back for her belongings, I sure as hell wasn't going to ship them. My SO and I spent an afternoon going thru her stuff - all of the ex's clothes went to a woman's shelter, the rest of it went to Goodwill/Salvation Army.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:40:31 AM EDT

[#21]

box it up nice if your not pissed at her and drop on moms porch. If your pissed at her, rub one out on her stuff and throw in garbage bags and leave at moms porch.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:41:10 AM EDT

[#22]

Put it on the curb. Landlords do it all the time. If her name is not on the lease/deed, she has no rights to the property you live on. If her name is on the lease/deed, you need to lawyer up. Don't waste your time trying to talk to her.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:43:52 AM EDT

[#23]

When I gave the first wife the boot, I gave her 2 warnings. The second one everything was in Puerto Rican suitcases on the front stoop. Come and get it.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:44:40 AM EDT

[#24]

Craigs list and ebay all of that shit. Then move on to the next future ex.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:46:01 AM EDT

[#25]

Notify her that you're putting it on the street tonight if she doesn't come by after work.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:46:10 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Put it on the curb. Landlords do it all the time. If her name is not on the lease/deed, she has no rights to the property you live on. If her name is on the lease/deed, you need to lawyer up.

Sure they do. I can scan a copy of a pleading claiming thousands in damage as a result of such actions filed by a tenant that didn't have a pot to piss in. I think the landlord finds little comfort in the fact that the stuff was actually junk every time he pays his $150/hr attorney fee bill.

YMMV.

The bit about the lease/deed is not necessarily the case, either. I'd stick to what you know.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:50:01 AM EDT

[#27]

Be careful throwing it out technically she is a renter if she has stayed there for more than 48 hours. Better to let a storage company do it for you.

Posted: 9/4/2008 6:53:39 AM EDT

[#28]

Send her a letter giving her 5 days to collect it. State that if she doesn't - it will be placed at the curb and you will not be responsible for it. Specify a date.

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:00:48 AM EDT

[#29]

Be a man about it. Send it to her mom's house in good condition. Even if you have to buy some storage containers it's money well-spent.

Do you have a buddy that would help you move a body? Call him and have him deliver the stuff to Mom so you don't have to deal with the drama. Of course you'll owe him one and he'll have a terrific story to tell on you but that's just the way it is. Then be done with it.

Life's little lesson here is if you let someone move in with you then you'll have drama when they leave. Don't be a part of the cast. Just cut your losses and move on.

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:25:01 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Be a man about it. Send it to her mom's house in good condition. Even if you have to buy some storage containers it's money well-spent.

Do you have a buddy that would help you move a body? Call him and have him deliver the stuff to Mom so you don't have to deal with the drama. Of course you'll owe him one and he'll have a terrific story to tell on you but that's just the way it is. Then be done with it.

Life's little lesson here is if you let someone move in with you then you'll have drama when they leave. Don't be a part of the cast. Just cut your losses and move on.

This man speaks the truth.

But have Mom sign for it.

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:34:22 AM EDT

[#31]

If your place was actually listed as her real residence, then you can just through her stuff out. You'll have to store it, and charge her for it.

State laws differ on this kind of stuff so I would call your local PD or SD and ask for further information about how long you may need to keep her stuff.

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:37:12 AM EDT

[#32]

- charge her storage fees
- assume it's abandoned property and sell it

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:39:14 AM EDT

[#33]

save it for the next girlfriend.
It'll save you loads on buying gifts.

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:43:33 AM EDT

[#34]

-rent storage space

-call movers

- bid that shit adieu

- sue her in small claims to recoup

Posted: 9/4/2008 7:59:29 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Send her a text message telling her not to get in any hurry to come get the stuff. Your new girlfriend is using some of it, and want's to know if she want's to sell it.

Ex will be knocking on your door in 15 minutes demanding her stuff....

Tin_Star I like the way you think!

This could be pure comedy gold:

Tested <txt msg> Cum gt yer stuf
Ex:
Tested <txt msg> My new gf dsnt wnt yer panies - way too big
Tested <txt msg> She dnt wnt yer bras - way too small
Ex: <txt msg> U MFBSTD
Tested <txt msg> gotta go, she made me a sammich

Posted: 9/4/2008 8:06:44 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Put it on the curb. Landlords do it all the time. If her name is not on the lease/deed, she has no rights to the property you live on. If her name is on the lease/

Bad advice, in Florida, if someone else living with you, but is not on the lease, receives mail there, you can not kick them out. You have to go thru evict process. By law they have every right to be there.

Also those saying get a lawyer make me go --->

You guys do know that lawyers arent cheap. And personally there is no reason to involve one.

I would box her stuff up, call her and her mom, tell her that she needs to come get this stuff out of your place immediately. Dont threaten to do anything with it (like throw it away, sell it , etc) and dont say "...or else." those are INTIMADATION tactics and can be used against you later on. As shitty as it is, you have to play nice. Just box it up, put it away somewhere and wait. Tell her once to come get it, give it some time and then you may have to call and tell her to get it again. I would certainly document it. You could even write a nice letter asking her to remove her possessions (while you are there) and have it sent certified mail (so you have copy of it being accepted).

I wouldnt pay for a storage unit, its not your responsibility to move and pay for this stuff. Also you didnt say how much stuff there was, funiture? jus clothes? etc etc. If its just a bag full, stick it in the garage and attic for now.

Posted: 9/4/2008 8:08:27 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Send her a text message telling her not to get in any hurry to come get the stuff. Your new girlfriend is using some of it, and want's to know if she want's to sell it.

Ex will be knocking on your door in 15 minutes demanding her stuff....

Tin_Star I like the way you think!

This could be pure comedy gold:

Tested <txt msg> Cum gt yer stuf
Ex:
Tested <txt msg> My new gf dsnt wnt yer panies - way too big
Tested <txt msg> She dnt wnt yer bras - way too small
Ex: <txt msg> U MFBSTD
Tested <txt msg> gotta go, she made me a sammich

Actually ignore my post, THIS is the best reply so far ^

Posted: 9/4/2008 9:18:06 AM EDT

[#38]

So I txtd here mom and told her mom that I was willing to pay for the first months storage. That I had taken the day off of work and had people coming over to help and that my e(her daughter) txtd me at 10pm last night saying she wasn't coming.

Not 5 mins later I get a call from her asking how much the storage was going to be and if I had any boxes.

I'm guessing that mom wasn't to happy knowing that her daughter was being a POS and that I was just trying to be a nice guy. I'm sure she has told her mom horrible stories about how I forced her to do unspeakable acts of life altering depravity with objects both animate and not.

Posted: 9/4/2008 9:21:37 AM EDT

[#39]

Keep it but charge her storage.

Posted: 9/4/2008 9:23:52 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Give it to her mom.

Posted: 9/4/2008 9:29:11 AM EDT

[#41]

Apparently I called her mom by the wrong name. OOPS. Mom is all wounded that I didn't talk to her when the ex and I were dating.

As good a lay as this girl was I am really starting to look forward to getting her outa my life. I think I need to learn to be way more selective in the future.

Posted: 9/4/2008 9:42:16 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I don't know how storage rental works....but wouldn't the storage place just haggle you for the next payments?

Yep.

A storage rental contract is much like a month-to-month rental agreement, with ALL the hassles, including cleaning deposits. The person who rents the space is liable for payment, even if someone else's stuff is in there.

ETA

'Haggle' should be 'hassle.' Haggle means arguing, bartering, etc. Hassle means creating trouble.

Erm....thanks.

Posted: 9/4/2008 10:09:28 AM EDT

[#43]

At this point in the thread I believe COC requires you to post pics of ex's Mom

Posted: 9/4/2008 12:58:21 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
At this point in the thread I believe COC requires you to post pics of ex's Mom

Trust me dude you don't wanna see those.

Posted: 9/4/2008 1:45:31 PM EDT

[#45]

Garbage Man

Posted: 9/4/2008 1:56:04 PM EDT

[#46]

Just move, and leave her stuff at the old place. Or at least tell her you're moving and stop calling.

Seriously you shouldn't keep calling her about it. Stop calling her and pretty soon she'll call you thinking "Oh shit, he threw all my stuff away." Then when you do feel like talking to her again she can come get her stuff when it's convenient for you not her.

Posted: 9/4/2008 2:13:14 PM EDT

[#47]

EBay is a wonderful thing. What stuff? You didn't have any of your things here.

Posted: 9/4/2008 2:17:50 PM EDT

[#48]

Deny her all reason to remain in contact with you, LIKE CHARGING HER FOR STORAGE or involving the man in any way shape or form. Put it in storage for a few months at your expense, or leave it with mom at your expense.

The bottom line is that money spent denying her reason to contact you with malice or bitterness is money well spent.

Posted: 9/4/2008 2:19:17 PM EDT

[#49]

Abandoned property. Sell it on ebay.

Shane

Posted: 9/4/2008 2:22:54 PM EDT

[#50]

Street with a sign on it that says free shit. Take a pic and text her, your shit is here come and get.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - So my GF is out but she won't come get her crap from my house. (Page 2 of 3)

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