I was raised to ...

Always call ladies Ma'am, Miss or Mrs <name> until asked to do otherwise.

Always hold doors or offer help.

Always treat them with respect.

Feminist here too, and I love chivalry. Just because I can carry heavy stuff doesn't mean that I won't accept your help. Miss just isn't used much around here, but we start ma'am-ing around 12 years old so it doesn't make me feel old.

The way I see it, door holding, verbal manners, stuff carrying and seat yeilding are all, in a small way, a form of service. It's an honor to be able to provide it. If I'm sitting on the street car and grandmother gets on, it's the youngest man's privilege to yeild his seat. If he doesn't accept the honor, it goes to older men and then to me as a relatively young woman.

Just my 2 cents...

Quoted: I learned not to open doors for women or do anything nice (like helping pick up spilled books or something) on campus or at work after having my nice gesture rewarded with insults hurled in my face (especially by women in groups).

I believe it was Dave Chappelle who said "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it."

I'm not saying I believe it, but I've had several women get all sorts of upset if I open doors/pay for dates/etc because they believe I'm attempting to demolish their sense of independence.

That's fine, but if you HAVE to correct me, do it after I've paid. I promise I won't do it again.

Jesus. What ever happened to simply 'being polite'?

(And yes, I hold the door open for men and women.)

Quoted: I was raised to ... Always call ladies Ma'am, Miss or Mrs <name> until asked to do otherwise. Always hold doors or offer help. Always treat them with respect.

I got the same raising, and any violation of the above meant going and picking a willow switch (I was kind of a stubborn kid). Now being in my mid-20s it is just reflex to do these things. When I first started working for the university I got chewed on pretty regularly for holding doors open and ma'am, but eventually my coworkers learned it just is part of who I am. Now even the 'feminazis' who once chewed on me for these acts say 'thanks', smile, and move on.