Only dumb thing I ever did with fire was soak a roll of caps in gasoline and hit the whole roll with a hammer on my neighbor's porch.  Caused a black mark on the porch, but no major problems.
Only halfway disastrous thing I ever did...well, I was 13 and on the soccer team, it was night and there was nothing to do, so I was kicking the soccer ball into the recliner...next to the window.  Of course, without fail, I kicked the ball right into the window, breaking the glass and sending ball and screen out into the yard.
Pretty tame stuff, but we didn't keep explosives laying around and I was pretty conscientious when I launched my model rockets.

I choose not to share such information since I would be chastized and made fun of by the rest of Arfcom.

Quoted: My story concerns white smoke grenades. In college Me and an Army buddy thought it would be a cool idea to use on a car to lay a "Smoke screen". We went out  on the highway at 3 AM (deserted, loop 289 in Lubbock. TX)

North, east, south, or west 289? What year?

We never blew up the street....after launching about 15 black powder rockets and figuring out how to get them to blow up 20 feet above Interstate-5, the cops gave us a talking to......that was 2 years ago....It was lots of fun, lets do it again!!!!!

Bumpfiring my wasr10gp, then using an AR to double tap an old army helmet i put on a stick...on video....then post it online.....then show it to friends......who show it to friends at school(highschool)...who show it to teachers.....who show the deans, principle, vice principle, local sheriff's office, ATF.....who then bring in extra police to the school to monitor me.....then pull me out of class and bring me into an office filled with them all....then want their weapons expert to check them out....when their expert really just wanted to brag about the M82 .50 they had just got, and how fast my mustang went in the 1/4.

       

Some of you guys must be typing slow because of you lost fingers.

Quoted: Quoted: My story concerns white smoke grenades. In college Me and an Army buddy thought it would be a cool idea to use on a car to lay a "Smoke screen". We went out  on the highway at 3 AM (deserted, loop 289 in Lubbock. TX) North, east, south, or west 289? What year?

It was the southwest part, towards Tahoka highway. About 1982, I was a freshman at Texas Tech, just out of basic training on a split options program. Those were the days! A miracle I didn't end up in jail.

Scene: Desert north of Phoenix just off Pinnacle Peak road.
Date: Spring 1984.
Weapon: Ruger 10/22
Target: Primer on a live 30MM TP round.
Target distance: 15-20 feet
Present: Three: Me, my wife, my best friend
Result: Big fucking boom, lots of shrapnel.
Injuries: None thank god.
Thoughts:  What the fuck was I thinking?

I got the bright idea to make an "explosive device" consisting of a film canister full of black powder, magnesium shavings, sulphur, and match heads. Capped it off with a Redneck Engineered impact fuzing system. It functioned flawlessly when I accidentaly dropped it in the living room.

Total damage? It sent burning magnesium into my shins, the fireball burned all the hair off my legs, the concussion deafened both me and and my brother (who's head was a scant 3 feet from ground zero), the smoke from the sulphur obscured the 11 fires that had been started by the burning match heads distributed around the room, and there were matching scortch marks on the carpet and ceiling.

My parents were not amused, and I was no longer allowed to bring my "experimental designs" through the house. What saved me was being truthfull. My mom asked if I had lit a bomb off in the house. I said that I had not lit a single match. The bomb exploded on impact. After demonstrating to her and my dad what I had done and how I had done it, they promptly scoured the house for film canisters and matches.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: My story concerns white smoke grenades. In college Me and an Army buddy thought it would be a cool idea to use on a car to lay a "Smoke screen". We went out  on the highway at 3 AM (deserted, loop 289 in Lubbock. TX) North, east, south, or west 289? What year? It was the southwest part, towards Tahoka highway. About 1982, I was a freshman at Texas Tech, just out of basic training on a split options program. Those were the days! A miracle I didn't end up in jail.

Hah! No wonder.... I was 5.


My part of town though.

When my sister and I were kids, 4 or 5 years old, we wold play magic.  Imitating the famous sword through a box with a person inside.  So she would get inside my parents wicker hamper and I would fetch all the big kitchen knives I could and proceed to skewer the hamper with her inside.  I do not know how I never stabbed her to death.

Made many black powder devices when I was a teenager.  Has a few close calls.  Decided that PVC tubing would work great so little brother and I make up a few with the green waterproof fuse.  And we were curious as to whether this woud go off under water as the fuse was supposed to be waterproof.  So we attach a large bolt to the 3 inch long by inch in diameter firecracker to sink it and light it.  Drop it into a five gallon pastic bucket full of water on the patio.  So we just stand there looking into the bucket point blank.  BOOM!  we get drenched, bucket is litteraly shredded into shards.  So we figure that was pretty impressive.  Thn we noticed the hole in the wall outside.  The bolt had penetrated the aluminum sideing, sheathing, insulation, drywall, and the drywall on the opposite side of the house.  Had someone been standing inside it would have killed them.  Oh, and the concusion cracked the window.


Blew up a can of hair spray in the middle of the street with a black powder device similar to the above.  Big fireball and real loud.  But the can went into a house window up the street.  

I am suprised I still have all my digits..

300 WinMag.  One BIG can of baked beans on a stump 15 yards away.

Even soft beans leave welts when they hit you at 70mph.

I didn't say "hold my beer and watch this first", but I might as well have.

well i have a few too many to list but here are some good ones

stole some salt peter from chem class, ground up a road flare and some charcoal. mixed a batch up. then i proceeded to wet it down and mix, to dry i placed it on some tin foil. after it dryed i went out on the wooden deck to test it... found out about a 1/2 pound of black powder will burn right thru some tin foil and leave a nasty hole in the deck

at age 3 i tried to hid a penny from my sister... we always fought over money... tried to hid it behind my night light... boom sparks and 20 years later i am an electrician

one tried to blow in to a small bucket of burning gas to put it out.... lost eyebrows

once made a morter with an estes rocket and a copper pipe filled with gun powder... left a nice hole in the field of the rec center

second attempt with estes rocket... made a shoulder fired rocket with copper pipe and gun powder ... two problems here .. one i lost my eyebrows again and two the rocket only flew about 5 feet till it hit the ground ... was picking out small pieces of copper from my legs for weeks

Yeah, it involed backyard rocketry also but about 20 D engines emptied into a coffe can that happened to go off in my bedroom...try explaining that to your parents when you are an 8th grader.    So I covered it up for a year or two...then I got it...  Oh well, the only other thing I got caught for on that level was the party at our summer house my senior year...everything else slid by...

heh heh I cant belive I am posting this... But it is probably my number 1 "It sounded like a good idea at the time."

NOTE: This post is rated R - not for the kiddies.

OK - so I am around 20 or so, dating a great girl, having the kind of sex people at this age often do. Well, we had heard about the ledgendary "Ben Wa" balls. From the orient, basically one inserts them in the vagina, and the vibrations from the weights boucing around inside are supposed to cause either good feelings, or more intense orgams.

Ok - well - I found some of those round "hand massage" balls. You know, the 2 1/5" metal balls that you are supposed to rotate in your hand for dexterity and to relax. Well, I thought, heck - lets try these!

Well she was willing. We put them in, fooled around, and had some fun.

Ok - funs done. Now what. Er - in our eagerness we had no idea how to get them out.

Now... the BIG difference between REAL Ben Wa balls and what we used is 1) the Ben Wa are MUCH smaller, making them easier to remove and 2) they usually have a string for  removal.

Well - we didnt have any of those things. We tried for an hour to get those damn things out. Jumping up and down. I think a spoon was used at one point. A warm bath to relax things. We thought for sure we would end up in the emergency room as the perverts of the month.

She went home, dismayed, but thought she would sleep on it and see if they would come out tomarrow.

Well, in the end, she went home and used the bathroom. The pushing ended up pushing the balls out and she was ok.

Sooooo.... we learned a valuable lesson that day. And I hope I can prevent others in the future from making the same mistake.

Quoted: heh heh I cant belive I am posting this... But it is probably my number 1 "It sounded like a good idea at the time." NOTE: This post is rated R - not for the kiddies. OK - so I am around 20 or so, dating a great girl, having the kind of sex people at this age often do. Well, we had heard about the ledgendary "Ben Wa" balls. From the orient, basically one inserts them in the vagina, and the vibrations from the weights boucing around inside are supposed to cause either good feelings, or more intense orgams. Ok - well - I found some of those round "hand massage" balls. You know, the 2 1/5" metal balls that you are supposed to rotate in your hand for dexterity and to relax. Well, I thought, heck - lets try these! Well she was willing. We put them in, fooled around, and had some fun. Ok - funs done. Now what. Er - in our eagerness we had no idea how to get them out. Now... the BIG difference between REAL Ben Wa balls and what we used is 1) the Ben Wa are MUCH smaller, making them easier to remove and 2) they usually have a string for  removal. Well - we didnt have any of those things. We tried for an hour to get those damn things out. Jumping up and down. I think a spoon was used at one point. A warm bath to relax things. We thought for sure we would end up in the emergency room as the perverts of the month. She went home, dismayed, but thought she would sleep on it and see if they would come out tomarrow. Well, in the end, she went home and used the bathroom. The pushing ended up pushing the balls out and she was ok. Sooooo.... we learned a valuable lesson that day. And I hope I can prevent others in the future from making the same mistake.

n00B!  ha, ha I think I did something about as bad, fingering my ex after eating popcorn...

Quoted: heh heh I cant belive I am posting this... But it is probably my number 1 "It sounded like a good idea at the time." NOTE: This post is rated R - not for the kiddies. OK - so I am around 20 or so, dating a great girl, having the kind of sex people at this age often do. Well, we had heard about the ledgendary "Ben Wa" balls. From the orient, basically one inserts them in the vagina, and the vibrations from the weights boucing around inside are supposed to cause either good feelings, or more intense orgams. Ok - well - I found some of those round "hand massage" balls. You know, the 2 1/5" metal balls that you are supposed to rotate in your hand for dexterity and to relax. Well, I thought, heck - lets try these! Well she was willing. We put them in, fooled around, and had some fun. Ok - funs done. Now what. Er - in our eagerness we had no idea how to get them out. Now... the BIG difference between REAL Ben Wa balls and what we used is 1) the Ben Wa are MUCH smaller, making them easier to remove and 2) they usually have a string for  removal. Well - we didnt have any of those things. We tried for an hour to get those damn things out. Jumping up and down. I think a spoon was used at one point. A warm bath to relax things. We thought for sure we would end up in the emergency room as the perverts of the month. She went home, dismayed, but thought she would sleep on it and see if they would come out tomarrow. Well, in the end, she went home and used the bathroom. The pushing ended up pushing the balls out and she was ok. Sooooo.... we learned a valuable lesson that day. And I hope I can prevent others in the future from making the same mistake.

tied for the post that made melaugh the hardest

When I was a teenager I was a speed demon on my bicycle.
On a good day I could keep up with the traffic on the highways.

So there was this one time I drove my bike up and onto the Long Island Expressway….
(Hint:  Think of the LIE as a 6-laned Interstate.  And I honestly can’t remember if the LIE is as an Interstate.)  and the traffic, while almost bumper-to-bumper, was still traveling quite fast.

And here I come.  Ever see the movie Breaking away?  The hero of the movie in one scene keeps pace with a Semi-trailer.  He tops out at 60 MPH.  I didn’t quite get up to that speed.  And you have to remember that the Hero did his speeding with only that one truck on the road.  Me, I had hundreds of vehicles to my left, to my front and to my rear.  And yeah, I was trucking along something fast.

And then the pants I’m wearing suddenly get caught in the front gears of my bike….

No wonder I later became a Paratrooper; it was safer!

Well there was this chick named Dawn that I married .

Tried to make napalm with gasoline and plain gelatin in an ice cream bucket.  When it didn't take beyond a couple gelatin sheets and a melting bucket, I set it off to get rid of it.  4 ft flames next-to and under a carport is bad, mmmkay?

Ran for the water hose that wasnt hooked up, hooked it up, and then proceeded to put the fire out.  No one ever questioned the big assed burnt mark...

TAG for when I'ma sober enough to read

Quoted: When I was around 8 or 9, I thought I could tie a rope the belt loop of my jeans and swing from the trees like Spiderman.  I climbed the pecan tree in our backyard, tied one end of the rope to the branch and the other end to the rearmost loop of my jeans. My brother was walking under the tree, so I decided to swoop down and scare him.  I leaped out from the branch and into the terrible, terrible arms of the cruel mistress known as Gravity. I have a very faint recollection of a slight delay as the belt loop ripped clean off of my jeans and my brother's expression as I dropped towards the ground.  I didn't even have time to flap my arms or yell.  I just thudded into the dirt, spread-eagled, at his feet. It knocked the wind out of me.  No real injuries, but everything ached for a couple days.  I caught hell from my mom for tearing my jeans too.

So are you the redheaded guy in the "Young Ones"? (Avatar)



My story would be my friend who decided to roll down a hill in a 4 foot diameter piece of pipe. it was about 20 feet long.

We pushed this big pipe about 300 feet up the hill which may have been about a 4 or 5% incline. There is a small amount of dirt in the pipe and it is a tar coated pipe. My friend tries to get me to get in it with him but I wasn't that stupid.

We let it go and I ran along side of the pipe laughing so friggin hard I could hardly run. He was inside getting the shit beat out of him as he tumbled and the pipe was bouncing off of the uneven ground. He was screaming for us to stop it but there is no way we could. The pipe hit a small tree (which kept it from dropping about 4 feet into the creek). The sad part is that I didn't have a video camera.

I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk. He crawled out, was bleeding everywhere (small stuff) and was throughly coated with dirt. even inside of his ears.

NOW, He is in prison and I make a fairly decent living......go figure!




Another one (better friends) is we had a paraglider (square parachute) a 100 foot rope and an ATV. We would have someone hold the chute corners up and the atv would take off down the hill with the rope wrapped around the rack. When the rope went tight you would shoot almost straight up. the guy holding the rope had to let go at the right time or it would jerk the atv off of the ground. Worked great many times.

The last time we did it the guy in the harness must have had a corner folded because when he went airborne he shot to the left and caught the top of the only tree in the 80 acre meadow. He swund around the top and He got hung in top of the tree. (We had a hard time getting him down) also the atv man didn't let go of the rope in time and it nearly flipped them and broke out the taillight on the atv.

It was scary watching it but the video and my friends reaction who was taping it was hilarious. You hear the atv take off, the chute goes up into the tree, You can hear the rope smack the atv, women srceaming, all while the camera is steady. Then seeing the chute and bobby hanging in the tree (he's not hurt) you can hear my friend laugh as the camera shakes.

It's a dog day august afternoon in 1963. Somewhere in Maryland in a typical brand new suburban neighborhood, I'm eight and my buddy ten and we are board stiff. We had a some packs of 20 standard class C firecrackers with fast burning fuses of gunpowder filled rice paper left over from the 4th,. After we got tired of a standard game where each of us would stand immobile on opposite sides of street while heaving lit firecrackers as close as possible to each other my buddy Kelly gets this genius idea. Nice little adrenaline came with the bang and concussion wave but it got old. Our neighborhood had an incredibly over engineered sewer water drainage system. Big white pads of cement at every street corner, manholes with heavy covers with a 4'or 8' slits for water to drain into where the street met the curb. We would find a piece of iron and pry the manhole cover up just enough to crush our fingertips should we slip muscling it the rest of the way off. A clean brick fortress with large thick metal rungs ran down all sides to the bottom 8-10 feet below. Huge 3 or 4' pipes allowed exploration with candles or just matches. Using dad's flashlight was out of the question, batteries were expensive.
 Well kelly's genius idea was to get in the sewer standing on the rungs near the slit and listen for cars. You had to use one hand to hold on; it was a pretty good fall if we slipped. Kelly would hold a firecracker and I lit the match when he heard a car and he’d say "car coming". This worked but the “Mom's” coming home with the groceries didn't seem to notice. So Kelly decides to wrap the fuses from two fire crackers together for a POP POP. Still no apparent response so we get up to 4 fuses twisted together. However 15 minutes passes with NO cars and we were getting desperate holding tight.
Kelly hears something and he say's " I think it's a car. We listen hard and hear something and Kelly goes for broke and say's "car coming" I dutifully lit the match and the fuse; you didn't have time to screw around. Then just as quickly Kelly who is looking out the slit says "nah"
I open my mouth to say something but it's too late and Kelly s holding the lit firecracker tight. I jam my fingers in my ears but Kelly is looking out the slit.........oblivious.
Pow! and Kelly is as mad as a bee swarm. Nice hand full of blood blisters and I'm having trouble suppressing a giggle. We argue all the way home each defend our perspective. I don't think we talked again for a few weeks until he healed and could laugh about it.

Sheesh, every Thanksgiving my brothers and I would tell this and a zillion other escapades at the dinner table making our parents squirm. As the years went on growing up the tales were spectacular. Now we have kids........

ARDog

Quoted: Only dumb thing I ever did with fire was soak a roll of caps in gasoline and hit the whole roll with a hammer on my neighbor's porch.  Caused a black mark on the porch, but no major problems. Only halfway disastrous thing I ever did...well, I was 13 and on the soccer team, it was night and there was nothing to do, so I was kicking the soccer ball into the recliner...next to the window.  Of course, without fail, I kicked the ball right into the window, breaking the glass and sending ball and screen out into the yard. Pretty tame stuff, but we didn't keep explosives laying around and I was pretty conscientious when I launched my model rockets.

For a second, I thought this story was going to go another direction: flammable gas to fill the soccer ball, followed by shooting it.  If I ever get any younger, I'm gonna have to try that.

I wont get into the pyro shit, but posting porn all over campus in 8th grade didn't turn out so well.  The police got involved and I got busted.  

Some kid brought a bunch of porn to school and left it on a bench, so I threw it on the ground in front of the cafeteria when it was raining.  It was some nasty shit, one pic involved lesbian and a cow IIRC.  The wind took it all over and it stuck to everything.  Someone told them it was me so I got called in.  They put me in the teacher's conference room to be searched (nowhere to hide things) and I waited.  While I was waiting I looked around...I found a joint on the floor.  Lovely, I thought,  now they are going to frame me for that.  So I stuck it under the table leg and hoped they wouldn't find it.  They didn't.  I checked my backpack to make sure I didn't have anything, but I found a pocket blowtorch.  I put it in my pocket, which they never searched.   The campus police officer wanted to charge me with "Distributing Pornography", I got suspended for 5 days, and I spent that whole day in detention.  I had to say where I got it or else they would try and bust my parents.  They ended up referring the guy who brough it father to the police for giving porn to a minor...nothing ever came of it though.  Nothing came of my police referral either.

Quoted: I wont get into the pyro shit, but posting porn all over campus in 8th grade didn't turn out so well.  The police got involved and I got busted.   Some kid brought a bunch of porn to school and left it on a bench, so I threw it on the ground in front of the cafeteria when it was raining.  It was some nasty shit, one pic involved lesbian and a cow IIRC.  The wind took it all over and it stuck to everything.  Someone told them it was me so I got called in.  They put me in the teacher's conference room to be searched (nowhere to hide things) and I waited.  While I was waiting I looked around...I found a joint on the floor.  Lovely, I thought,  now they are going to frame me for that.  So I stuck it under the table leg and hoped they wouldn't find it.  They didn't.  I checked my backpack to make sure I didn't have anything, but I found a pocket blowtorch.  I put it in my pocket, which they never searched.   The campus police officer wanted to charge me with "Distributing Pornography", I got suspended for 5 days, and I spent that whole day in detention.  I had to say where I got it or else they would try and bust my parents.  They ended up referring the guy who brough it father to the police for giving porn to a minor...nothing ever came of it though.  Nothing came of my police referral either.

When I was a freshman at Texas Tech, I was on the 11th floor of the freshman dorm.  Our group was pretty tight knit for a bunch of folks who didn't know one another before.  Anyway, when people's parents would go and visit, they would take their kids out to eat to give them a break from the dorm food.

While they were gone, my next-door neighbors and a random handful of the rest of us would surf the 'Net for the nastiest porn we could find: bestiality, shitting hot steaming piles into open mouths, that kind of stuff.  Print it out in full color.  Take glue just this side of super glue, and glue it to their dorm room door.  They almost always would come back with their parents to their dorm room........

Anyway, another funny thing about the story is that one of the neighbors (it was his computer, actually) was one of the biggest hippy-types I've ever known (and I've known a lot of folks from that generation for whom it never ended ).  He ended up leaving college (best thing that *ever* could have happened to him, as it made him grow up) and now works for a major player in the defense/aerospace industry.

Played "Aircraft Carrier" down a mountain in Montana.

Friend and I on sled with fixed hook to grab a trip wire at the base of the mountain. Was not pretty

n00B!  ha, ha I think I did something about as bad, fingering my ex after eating popcorn...

What would this do?