How should I answer the phone? - Page 1

General » General Discussion

Site Notices

TNVC Partners With Envision Technology - MARS Rangefinder Family, MARS-Lc!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How should I answer the phone? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:30:11 AM EDT

Im bored of "Hello".

Thinking of:

"Yeah mate"
"Ahoy hoy"
"Goonie goo goo" From Delerious by Eddy Murphy. Its Latino

"Gday" corny though

Any suggestions/thoughts?

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:31:54 AM EDT

[#1]

Ahoy hoy sounds great! See how many people get it. I think I'll start, too!

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:32:19 AM EDT

[#2]

"Go ahead caller, you're on the air"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:32:32 AM EDT

[#3]

you could always answer it
"fifty speeking"
or
"fifty's phone"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:32:43 AM EDT

[#4]

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck you want?"

"Captain Bob's Asspirate Lounge!" (guaranteed to make sure no one calls back)

Answer screaming "WHAT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT IS SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT!!!"

Or...you can answer with: "Yello baby...I'm naked under all these clothes...who is this?"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:33:46 AM EDT

[#5]

"yeah"
or

"WTF do you want now"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:33:54 AM EDT

[#6]

Bueno?

Pronto?

WHAT!!! (like little john)

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:34:30 AM EDT

[#7]

Speak.

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:36:40 AM EDT

[#8]

Viva Bush!

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:39:59 AM EDT

[#9]

consolidated nitro glycerin, Boom Boom speaking

Or my personal favorite:

City Morgue, you stab it we slab it, if it aint dead, it aint ours.

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:40:48 AM EDT

[#10]

Mushy mushy?

Ahoy ahoy?

Bob's Texaco?(My favorite)

Joe's Pool Hall, 8 ball speaking?

ByteTheBullet (-:

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:41:18 AM EDT

[#11]

I always use "City Morgue" or somtimes.
"City Morgue, You bag we tag em"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:42:37 AM EDT

[#12]

"You may speak".

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:43:35 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
I always use "City Morgue" or somtimes.
"City Morgue, You bag we tag em"

City Morgue, you kill em we chill em

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:45:20 AM EDT

[#14]

Mess with their minds: "Is Bob there?"

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:46:17 AM EDT

[#15]

'yeah'
or
'lokt'

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:48:45 AM EDT

[#16]

How about "GO!" ?

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:49:49 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Mushy mushy?

Do you mean "moshi moshi", the Japanese polite way to answer the phone?

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:51:57 AM EDT

[#18]

US Army Field Station Berlin H&S company private Fifty cal speaking how may I help you SIR?

Hows that for a mouthfull!

It was how we had to ansewer the phone back in my army days.

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:52:04 AM EDT

[#19]

Directorate? ID#? Password?

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:52:34 AM EDT

[#20]

Thy this, it always confuses people....

"telephone!"

Give it a shot.

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:55:17 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Im bored of "Hello".

Thinking of:

"Yeah mate"
"Ahoy hoy"
"Goonie goo goo" From Delerious by Eddy Murphy. Its Latino
"Gday" corny though

Any suggestions/thoughts?

I had some serious questions about your proposed responses until I saw you're from Australia.

Posted: 10/28/2004 5:55:21 AM EDT

[#22]

"You've reached the number you dialed" I use this on my answering machine and cell.

"Your dime, my time"

"Gunowners residence"

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:00:12 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Mushy mushy?

Do you mean "moshi moshi", the Japanese polite way to answer the phone?

Yeah, muy speilcecker isnt' by-lengual. sorey.

Is there a Japanese unpolite way?

ByteTheBullet (-:

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:00:17 AM EDT

[#24]

Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:00:25 AM EDT

[#25]

When I feel like being an ass, I just say either "Speak" or "You may speak"...

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:01:16 AM EDT

[#26]

Alexander Graham Bell proposed that "Ahoy!" be used to awswer the phone.

Try it! I should be good for a laugh and some freaked out people.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:14:37 AM EDT

[#27]

Joe's crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em.
Joe's taxidermy, you snuff 'em we stuff 'em.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:20:51 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:25:10 AM EDT

[#29]

You're in australia so how about

"OOOOY crikey"

"Oooooy whut 'o you want?"

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:26:38 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:29:03 AM EDT

[#31]

can't beleive nobody's mentioned:

scream out: "A Dingo ate my baby!"

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:29:27 AM EDT

[#32]

I am going with just screaming at the top of your lungs

HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

Then hang up. That will get a couple laughs.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:31:29 AM EDT

[#33]

"Good morning (afternoon, evening), USS Kauffman FFG 59, Quarterdeck, this is an unsecure line. How may I help you sir or ma'am?"

or one that I used at my old job:

"Whittier Regional Vocational High School, Student Services, Special Education, forth floor office, SDavid speaking, how may I help you sir or ma'am?" Great way to throw anyone off balance.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:33:04 AM EDT

[#34]

Try this: SooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthColoradoBoulevardConoco.

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:33:35 AM EDT

[#35]

Dave's mule barn, which ass would you like to speak to?

Posted: 10/28/2004 6:34:02 AM EDT

[#36]

FiftyCalibres summer home. Summer home and summer not.

FiftyCalibres Hall of Fame; who in the hall do you want?

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:07:38 AM EDT

[#37]

"Satan here. Who in the hell ya want?"

[lisp]"Peter Pan nursery, Tinkerbell speaking"[/lisp]

"FiftyCalibre's family summer home. Some are out and some might be home. But in any case no one is answering, so leave a message."

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:13:33 AM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
US Army Field Station Berlin H&S company private Fifty cal speaking how may I help you SIR?

Hows that for a mouthfull!

It was how we had to ansewer the phone back in my army days.

You forgot "this line is unsecure"

McKee Barracks Crailsheim '85-'86

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:19:46 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Speak.

A favorite of mine!

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:19:56 AM EDT

[#40]

"hank's septic service, you dump it we pump it"

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:20:48 AM EDT

[#41]

My boss wants me to change my answering machine....it simply says WHAT?

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:21:18 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.

You beat me to it. Sick, isn't it?

Posted: 10/28/2004 7:22:44 AM EDT

[#43]

Another one I've heard:

"Wrigley field. Second Base...."

Posted: 10/28/2004 8:50:33 AM EDT

[#44]

"Cant come to the phone right now, please leave a message............BEEEEEP".

Posted: 10/28/2004 8:52:14 AM EDT

[#45]

And the voicemail greeting:
"Hello?............Heeellooooo? Hello?..............Just kidding, leave a message"

Posted: 10/28/2004 8:53:09 AM EDT

[#46]

[Lurch] You rang? [/Lurch]

Posted: 10/28/2004 8:54:35 AM EDT

[#47]

As soon as you pick up, just state "Wrong number."

Kharn

Posted: 10/28/2004 8:56:05 AM EDT

[#48]

LANDSHARK

Posted: 10/28/2004 9:01:06 AM EDT

[#49]

One I use sometimes.
"I'm sorry, the number you've dialed has been disconnected. If you feel you've reached this message in error please hang up and try again." then a pause, then say you're there.

Digital

Posted: 10/28/2004 9:02:58 AM EDT

[#50]

Answering:

You- "Hi, is Jim there"

<huh?>

"May I speak to Jim, please?"

<There is no Jim here>

"OK, thanks....<click>

Confuses the s#!t out of my mother.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How should I answer the phone? (Page 1 of 2)

General » General Discussion

Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.

Warning

Confirm Action

About AR15.COM

Stay Connected

Newsletter

Contact Us