Women don't know what's going on in their own heads, but instead of admit that they spend their entire life blaming guys for not understanding them.

Reminds of one time, one of my neices was throwing a fit (she was something like 3 years old).  She wanted something, but we couldn't figure out what! She just kept saying "I want that! I want that!" When pressed further, she thinks a minute and says, "I want that thing that I want!" The only thing that changes as they get older, is they more carefully craft the statement "I want that thing that I want" to sound like "YOU know what I want, why didn't you do it/get me it/etc."?

ETA: DUDE.. Seriously, every fricken time I post it's the first post on the next page.

There is ONE thing about women that cannot be said enough

Women cannot complain about men unless they start showing better taste in them


Thats all I have to add.

SNorman, quit doing my job.  I'm the one who is supposed to spawn the next page.

So, clean_cut, here's what you do:  Go pick out one you like.  Marry it and bring it home.  Then you can study it freely and try to learn how it works.  Eventually, you'll come to the conclusion that you've learned nothing useful.  Think of this as learning about a giant scorpion by letting one run free in your house for 50 years.  Except the scorpion isn't nearly as dangerous.

Quoted: SNorman, quit doing my job.  I'm the one who is supposed to spawn the next page. So, clean_cut, here's what you do:  Go pick out one you like.  Marry it and bring it home.  Then you can study it freely and try to learn how it works.  Eventually, you'll come to the conclusion that you've learned nothing useful.  Think of this as learning about a giant scorpion by letting one run free in your house for 50 years.  Except the scorpion isn't nearly as dangerous.

Yikes!!  

They view it from security and children.


But when they view you they probably run....


SGtar15

Someone's gotta say it. How do women view the world? From the kitchen. I'm joking of course

Quoted: I ask about this because I am really trying to understand women.

You're funny!

This is my 2nd marriage.

Here's my summation...

Only women ask questions that are tests.

Men don't.....EVER.

Why? Because women like conflict and emotional distress.

Why? Because is proves to them how powerful having a pussy is...


Sorry, that's the truth.

Edited to add..

Men HAVE to fuck, women LOVE to fuck....sad but true

Women are three-fifths of the electorate, if they weren't so catty and competitive they could rule the world.

Read Lysistrata (un cut version)  you'll see.

Cheers

Coz_45

P.S.  I love women...they're worth it...r

Quoted: Quoted: I ask about this because I am really trying to understand women. You're funny! This is my 2nd marriage. Here's my summation... Only women ask questions that are tests. Men don't.....EVER. Why? Because women like conflict and emotional distress. Why? Because is proves to them how powerful having a pussy is... Sorry, that's the truth. Edited to add.. Men HAVE to fuck, women LOVE to fuck....sad but true Women are three-fifths of the electorate, if they weren't so catty and competitive they could rule the world. Read Lysistrata (un cut version)  you'll see. Cheers Coz_45 P.S.  I love women...they're worth it...r

Wow, great post Coz.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I ask about this because I am really trying to understand women. You're funny! This is my 2nd marriage. Here's my summation... Only women ask questions that are tests. Men don't.....EVER. Why? Because women like conflict and emotional distress. Why? Because is proves to them how powerful having a pussy is... Sorry, that's the truth. Edited to add.. Men HAVE to fuck, women LOVE to fuck....sad but true Women are three-fifths of the electorate, if they weren't so catty and competitive they could rule the world. Read Lysistrata (un cut version)  you'll see. Cheers Coz_45 P.S.  I love women...they're worth it...r Wow, great post Coz.

Thanks....and you have seen Ms. Coz....so, you know I know from whence I speak...

Quoted: www.kt70.com/~jamesjpn/images/Diff-Men-Women.JPG

tagged for this picture...

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I ask about this because I am really trying to understand women. You're funny! This is my 2nd marriage. Here's my summation... Only women ask questions that are tests. Men don't.....EVER. Why? Because women like conflict and emotional distress. Why? Because is proves to them how powerful having a pussy is... Sorry, that's the truth. Edited to add.. Men HAVE to fuck, women LOVE to fuck....sad but true Women are three-fifths of the electorate, if they weren't so catty and competitive they could rule the world. Read Lysistrata (un cut version)  you'll see. Cheers Coz_45 P.S.  I love women...they're worth it...r Wow, great post Coz. Thanks....and you have seen Ms. Coz....so, you know I know from whence I speak...

Yes, and I first saw you both on the Full-Auto server!

I believe Nicelson summed it up best;

"How do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man then I take away all reason and acountability."

Quoted: Women don't know what's going on in their own heads, but instead of admit that they spend their entire life blaming guys for not understanding them. Reminds of one time, one of my neices was throwing a fit (she was something like 3 years old).  She wanted something, but we couldn't figure out what! She just kept saying "I want that! I want that!" When pressed further, she thinks a minute and says, "I want that thing that I want!" The only thing that changes as they get older, is they more carefully craft the statement "I want that thing that I want" to sound like "YOU know what I want, why didn't you do it/get me it/etc."? ETA: DUDE.. Seriously, every fricken time I post it's the first post on the next page.

Some women DO know what's going on in their heads. This is a BS blanket statement, but I do understand that there must be a lot of crazy bitches out there otherwise you guys would have a little bit of a better attitude towards womenz in general.

Both boys and girls throw fits until they 4-5 years old when they can better articulate their feelings. Boys actually mature much later than girls. But I understand that you used this as a basis for your final sentence, so I will just applaud you for using the word "craft" in that.

Finally, there is no need for a women to ever think she will get something from a man that either didn't come from his own initiation of the doing, or from keeping the request "simple". You can NOT hint around with a man and expect him to understand. They just don't get it. They aren't doing it on purpose either, it is just one of the things that is so incredibly different between us that it must be excepted.  

Quoted: Okay, here's the thing. Today at work I talked to this really attractive young woman. She's a professional like me. The only things I talk about with her is work...she has less experience than me so I try to make sure she understands stuff. Not because she is a woman. Anyway, I ask her today as gently as I could if she understood what this meant, and she nodded very defensively. I think she took it in a bad way and felt I was talking to her like that because she is female and I'm male, when in actuality, I really was just trying to make sure she understood.

First of all, you mention she is a "really attractive woman". Do you see every woman as a potential mate and then work your way back from there???  Wow! Do all men do this when they first meet a woman?

OK, so she is attractive AND a professional! And you talk about only work??? OK, I will stop being sarchastic now, sorry...

Listen, I'm sure you most likely do NOT need to be coddling to her to make sure she "understands" stuff. Cut that shit out. Nobody wants to be talked down to. Treat her like you would treat ANY other associate that wasn't an "attractive woman".

You probably would have gotten the same reaction out of a male college fresh out, so quit categorizing her reaction like it had ANYTHING to do with her being female!

ETA: I know you are being sincere so I don't mean to pick on you, but maybe see what she does if you back off a bit and treat her like a general coworker.

Quoted: FATHER: ...Clarence, women aren't the angels that you think they are.  Well, now-first, let me explain this to you.  You see, Clarence, we men have to run this world and it's not an easy job.  It takes work, and it takes thinking.  A man has to be sure of his facts and figures.  He has to reason things out.  Now you take a woman-a woman thinks-no I'm wrong right there-she doesn't think at all. She just get stirred up.  And she gets stirred up about the damnedest things.  ((Remembering his own troubles) Now, I love my wife just as much as any man, but that doesn't mean I should stand for a lot of folderol.  By God, I won't stand for it. CLARENCE: Stand for what, Father?.......... FATHER: Women,  They get stirred up-and then they try to get you stirred up, too-but don't you let them Clarence.  As long as you can keep reason and logic in the argument, -no matter what it's about, a man can hold his own, of course. But if they can switch you-pretty soon the argument's about whether you love them or not.  I swear I don't know how they do it. Don't you let 'em Clarence, don't you let 'em. I just did this play (Life with Father) three weeks ago and these were my favorite lines from the script!!! Got quite a laugh from the audience every night also.  Especially the men.

OH GAD!!!

One of my all time favorites.  My missus says that the wonderful relationship between Vinnie and Clarence Sr. perfectly epitomizes the stark but absolutely necessary differences between the sexes.  Every time we watch the flic, I still marvel at the ease with which Vinnie wins the money argument.  Clarence starts out winning...but after just a couple of minutes and a bit of crying...she wins again and he is out the money!  Amazing.

In very many ways...our home is much like the Day home.

Here are a few guidelines (The female perspective):

Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are. Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want. Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a subtler instinct-they like to be a man's last romance. The only way to understand a woman is to love her and then it isn't necessary to understand her. To women love is an occupation. To men it is a preoccupation. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man will cherish the memory of the woman he didn't marry. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman-before marriage and after marriage. Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way and the other is to let her have it. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes-no use two people remembering the same thing. Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke. Husbands are like cars-all of them are good the first year. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. If women knew what men were thinking they'd never stop slapping them. Men are like animals but they make great pets. Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. Women have two weapons--cosmetics and tears. Women may be the only group that grows more radical with age. God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer to her first question.

And finally...

Relationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Sex:
Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Hats:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

Comedy:
Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

Handwriting:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Magazines:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

Going out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...

Shoes:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk. A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.

Leg warmers:
Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.
A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line".

Cats:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola's head.

Garages:
Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers. Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, and they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.

Movies:
For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind".  For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy".

Jewelry:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it.  Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

Menopause:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

The Telephone:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Low Blows:
Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on television. One of the fighters is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee, that must hurt." The man doubles over and actually feels pain.

Directions:
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there", and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".

Admitting Mistakes:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.

Richard Gere:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Nudity in Movies:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.

David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

Cameras:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4,000 for state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.

Politics:
Men love to talk politics, but often they forget to do political things such as voting. Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.

Locker Rooms:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room--sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.

Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.

Weddings:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".

Cheerleaders:
Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American. Male cheerleaders are scary.

Socks:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks. Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.

Plants:
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

Mustaches:
Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.

Nicknames:
With the exception of female body-builders, who call each other names like "Ultimate Pecs" and "Big Turk", women eschew the use of nicknames. If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless.

A bit more balanced...

Women only see the world that men have built for them, they never see the world we have built it from. A womans great failure is when she fails to understand the difference between the two, and thusly fails to see the difference between the two... casting cold indifference to the works of men.

And here we have a near perfect example of woman-speak and woman-think, with a little victimization thrown in just for good measure.  Study this.  If you ever figure it out, you sir, will have achieved a state of perfection, oneness, and nirvana, that few achieve.  If you further figure out how to communicate your understanding of this type of thinking to other men, and then you market it, you will also be the worlds richest man very shortly.

A woman, as sonn as she is married, will assume that her husband is incapable of doing anything without her input.  Changing an alternator, installing ceramic tile, building an A-bomb, it doesn't matter if she has no idea how it works.  She will chip in her 2 cents while blocking the light and complaining that the garage is dirty.

A woman's view of the world?

Who cares?

I found "A Woman's View of Sex":

Quoted: A woman's view of the world? Who cares? I found "A Woman's View of Sex": www.symphony-homes.com/Arietta%20mstr%20bdrm%20tray%20ceiling.JPG

Maybe more like this...

Quoted: You can NOT hint around with a man and expect him to understand. They just don't get it. They aren't doing it on purpose either, it is just one of the things that is so incredibly different between us that it must be excepted.

[Out of lurking ]
This is so incredibly true.   Some one please print this and hand it out to all mothers so they can instruct their daughters.

I'm denser than 6 feet of steel reinforced concrete; hints don't work.

My ex and I were driving from Bitburg, Germany to Rotenburg, Germany for Christmas.  She started making these remarks (one I remember), "I feel like I'm in a coffin,"  stretching, yawning, etc.

I didn't get it. I had no freaking idea that she was trying to tell me she needed to get out and stretch her legs.  I've traveled ALOT.  When I drive from point A to point B, I stop and we get gas, eat, and use the restroom all in the same stop - been doing it like that forever.  I explained that to her as this was our first long driving trip together - she said she understood, and would let me know when she needed a break.

Anway - eventually she blew up, yelling, "WTF won't I stop..."  We had a huge fight - just about ruined Christmas vacation.  YOWSER!

And other times, the ex would hint at stuff, and I wondered exactly she meant.  I didn't want to look like an ass and misinterpret her hints.  

So ladies, if you have something to say, say it.  Don't hint about it.  Or at least don't expect ME to get it.  
[/Back to lurking]

Quoted: Quoted: You can NOT hint around with a man and expect him to understand. They just don't get it. They aren't doing it on purpose either, it is just one of the things that is so incredibly different between us that it must be excepted. [Out of lurking ] This is so incredibly true.   Some one please print this and hand it out to all mothers so they can instruct their daughters. I'm denser than 6 feet of steel reinforced concrete; hints don't work. My ex and I were driving from Bitburg, Germany to Rotenburg, Germany for Christmas.  She started making these remarks (one I remember), "I feel like I'm in a coffin,"  stretching, yawning, etc. I didn't get it. I had no freaking idea that she was trying to tell me she needed to get out and stretch her legs.  I've traveled ALOT.  When I drive from point A to point B, I stop and we get gas, eat, and use the restroom all in the same stop - been doing it like that forever.  I explained that to her as this was our first long driving trip together - she said she understood, and would let me know when she needed a break. Anway - eventually she blew up, yelling, "WTF won't I stop..."  We had a huge fight - just about ruined Christmas vacation.  YOWSER! And other times, the ex would hint at stuff, and I wondered exactly she meant.  I didn't want to look like an ass and misinterpret her hints.   So ladies, if you have something to say, say it.  Don't hint about it.  Or at least don't expect ME to get it.   [/Back to lurking]

+1.

I may start just kissing every girl who tries to use woman-speak on me. If they accept, I know what i need to know. If they back away......well, I know what i need to know.

Ok, first of all, most women think, and then develope feelings about what they think, and learn. I've read a lot on this site about women not thinking and only feeling. In order to develope feelings a thought does have to cross our pretty little heads. The way a woman views the world is going to depend on her social class, upbringing, education, wether or not she has children, and what part of the world she is currently living in. I am living in a small town, was raised in a broken home, am attending college, have a husband and daughter, and am a former military wife. I would probably view the world differently if I were raised in a large city by a wealthy family, had no children, and if my husband had never been in the military.

Quoted: Quoted: So you're saying they're all teases or something? Not at all.   They do have the ability to get you to keep coming at them, though, while they swerve and dance out of the way, all the while continuing to wave that red cape at you.  Of course, the picadores will have been lancing you from well-padded horses.   These are the girlfriends. Meanwhile, you continue to charge at the flashing red cloth.  The closer you get, the better the show.   But in the end, they're still gonna stick the sword in your neck.

<-------------------Pastor's daughter

I really don't think I've ever heard it said better.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: So you're saying they're all teases or something? Not at all.   They do have the ability to get you to keep coming at them, though, while they swerve and dance out of the way, all the while continuing to wave that red cape at you.  Of course, the picadores will have been lancing you from well-padded horses.   These are the girlfriends. Meanwhile, you continue to charge at the flashing red cloth.  The closer you get, the better the show.   But in the end, they're still gonna stick the sword in your neck. <-------------------Pastor's daughter I really don't think I've ever heard it said better.

Elaborate, please.

(No, really...)

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Okay, so it's different from how men view it, but care to guess or elaborate? No Problem . Get a plastic bucket and drill a hole in the side , 4" from the top . Add 2oz of Mustard , 3/4 cup of white vinegar , 1/2 lb of sugar , a handful of used coffee grounds , a blue sock and a dash bee pollen . Turn off the light and cover the bucket with a piece of plywood painted Mauve then roll up a piece of paper and put it under the collar of a medium sized dog . When your done with that Go outside and wait for it to get dark . Once you can see stars , count exactly 28 stars from the horizon and throw a rock at it . Now Pull the pockets out of your pants and bend over backwards in an arch and walk back into the house like that , Once inside remember back to the 3rd grade to someone who made fun of you and cry about it till you feel better .. There ya go That makes no sense to me.

It made as much sense as asking a woman why it takes her and hour and a half to get ready when she just ends up looking exactly the way she did before she started getting ready.