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Is OP Joker?

Suddenly the phrases "unwanted advance," "unwanted hug," or "unwanted kiss" were everywhere. Despite the behavior being branded as "unwanted," in many instances, the woman hadn't made it clear that she wasn't interested in the first place. Women seemed to be expecting men to read their minds and claimed zero responsibility for their role in holding a boundary. Then, they branded the man as a predator.

Now, many of these women probably genuinely believed it was the case that they were harassed. This is because we have expanded the definition of "harassment." In the past, something was only harassment if a boundary had been clearly established or communicated, and then someone repeatedly transgressed it. Not any more. Now the mere expression of interest can be considered a potential violation.

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While I am a Shrexican, women talk to me all the time, probably because while ugly, I am not a fucking weirdo.

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When I do online dating, I'm quick to recommend meeting offline and that's where they bail. They are comfortable wanting to chat, sext and/or exchange pics all day. I'm to the point where I'm like, 'No more pics and/or chat...let's meet in person over drinks and coffee, where there's no pressure and if you don't like what you see, you can leave; and, you can ask me whatever you like in person'.

Quoted:
No they didn’t. It’s still alive and well. The unconscious mind under the social programming knows what it wants despite the pleas of social justice. It is very interesting to note that while the me too movement and hyper militant feminism shit took off that make weak men think flirting is harassment that at the same time 50 shades of grey became a best seller. Do you trust what people tell you in public or what they do when nobody is looking ? Men test ideas and women test men. Lookup Jordan Peterson’s vid on SJW when asked by an audience member. Women are just testing men with sjw shit and they’re not aware of it. A bunch of men are so confused anymore, goddamn. Women aren’t that hard to figure out. They’re complex but want someone strong and self reliant. They don’t want to be his mom or tell him how to be a man. They want security.

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I don't hang around women, I don't have time to listen to their hen pecking. This has been observed over time in my area, and having conversations with younger fellas that I manage. This may be regional, but it seems standards have changed quite a bit these days.

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GenX killed flirting when they started banging underaged high schoolers while being teachers

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Reminds me of the thread about a week ago where posters here were soiling themselves when they found out I change clothes several times a day. You know, after working out... coming home from work... before going out to eat or meet friends. Amazing how many stinky pigs there are out there in the world today, even more amazing is how many of them don't even know it.

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lol, he's a know it all. Married at 21....

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Yawn.

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Damn, I'm a millennial and I'll flirt with anything.

And do!

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I arrived at werk at 0640... the woman I was there to relieve got me up to speed on the nights goings on and at one point said something about "keeping an eye on something or another"

"How can I do that when I can't seem to keep my eyes from looking at you?"


Yeah... pretty smooth.. I know.


Of course pretty safe as I've known this broad/worked with her for 20 plus years or so...

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Damn, I'm a millennial and I'll flirt with anything.

And do!

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GenX killed flirting when they started banging underaged high schoolers while being teachers

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https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/did-millennials-finally-kill-flirting

Many women dream about how they will finally meet the man who becomes their husband.

They think up numerous romantic scenarios  maybe he'll approach while I'm sipping a latte in a small coffee shop. Maybe he'll strike up a conversation with me in an elevator. Or he'll spot me on the street and not be able to resist saying hi. He'll approach, we'll flirt, exchange numbers, and the rest will be history.

But in the modern age, it's just not so. Young people increasingly meet online, and the Millennial destruction of traditional social mores has pretty much killed flirting.

Gone are the days of meeting in the park, at a dance  or even at the bar, really. Men just don't approach women to flirt these days  and it's largely feminism's fault. But there is something we women can do about it.

How We Killed Flirting

The death of flirting occurred under the perfect storm of the #MeToo movement, campus sexual assault panic, "street harassment" hysteria, growth in feminist ideology, and a newfound obsession with "consent."

During #MeToo, the media (and social media) was flooded with stories of women retelling instances of misconduct. But what started out as tales of genuinely immoral behavior soon morphed into something else  women were claiming misconduct when a man was simply approaching her to signal his interest. Even if he had done so rather awkwardly, or misread her and failed to comprehend her lack of interest, the idea was that he had crossed a line he shouldn't have.

Suddenly the phrases "unwanted advance," "unwanted hug," or "unwanted kiss" were everywhere. Despite the behavior being branded as "unwanted," in many instances, the woman hadn't made it clear that she wasn't interested in the first place. Women seemed to be expecting men to read their minds and claimed zero responsibility for their role in holding a boundary. Then, they branded the man as a predator.

Now, many of these women probably genuinely believed it was the case that they were harassed. This is because we have expanded the definition of "harassment." In the past, something was only harassment if a boundary had been clearly established or communicated, and then someone repeatedly transgressed it. Not any more. Now the mere expression of interest can be considered a potential violation.

It's the natural progression of the false idea that men are the oppressors of women and should be viewed with suspicion. This worldview has totally killed flirting.

Men Are Now Too Afraid To Approach

After years of being told that unwanted advances = harassment, men simply don't want to risk approaching women out in the real world, for fear of being accused of a dark motive later.

Before this sterilized culture emerged, we would naturally send signals, some subtle and some overt, that acted as clues for us to determine if someone were romantically interested. Maybe we caught their eye across the room and held their gaze. Maybe we smiled at them on the bus. This would be the signal for a man to make a more overt move  approaching us to chat or ask for our number.

But why would a man make a more explicit move  or start the flirtatious dance at all  if he fears he'll be rebranded as someone sinister just for doing so?

Instead, men now approach only where it's safe  on a dating site, where a woman's mere presence signals openness to being approached. How very safe and tidy  but it also takes a lot of the excitement and spontaneity out of life.

Feminism sought to shift the power dynamics between men and women, and shift them it did  right into total sterility. We're now firmly held inside a bubble-wrap culture in which women view the mere expression of interest as a potential violation and men are too afraid to make a move for fear of being branded "creepy."

How Women Can Bring Back Flirting

The saddest thing about the death of flirting is that it eradicated the air of potential romance and hopeful expectation that a young woman could feel when she leaves her house. If men weren't so afraid to approach us, the right man for us could always be just around the corner, lending our experiences an air of magic and mystery. Instead, that hope is never present. We find ourselves swiping on dating apps instead.

If we want to revive a culture where it's okay to flirt, the onus is really on women to make it clear to men that we're okay with being approached in public  that we're either going to accept their offer or politely decline, not brand them as a creeper if we're not interested. (Men, of course, also need to clearly read our signals, whether they're signals of interest or disinterest, and be willing to go away when we say no.)

Feminism has told women that we lack power, which is a lie. The reality is that women are alluring, and as such, we hold a lot of power. Masculine energy pursues, while feminine energy responds and receives. Being on the receiving end of romantic advances means we have all the power to say yes or no. We're the gatekeepers of romantic encounters.

If we women want to reverse this culture where men think they shouldn't ever approach us, we need to learn how to be open to advances while also clearly communicating our boundaries when necessary. Instead of being quick to accuse men of predatory behavior when we simply aren't interested, we can learn how to gracefully rebuff unwanted approaches while still being open to making new connections.

We could learn when it's time to say "no," but also how to be polite while doing so, instead of automatically branding him a creep. For instance, if a man you aren't interested in gets the wrong idea and asks for your number, you can politely decline   "I'm very flattered, but I don't have romantic feelings for you." Or if he touches you in a way you don't want him to, say, "I'm sorry if I gave the wrong idea, but I should let you know that I'm not interested."

It's largely up to women to end this culture of fearful puritanism. We need to stop assuming that every time we're approached, it's some gross violation. Women need to remember the power we have when it comes to men  we have the power to decline an unwanted advance firmly without treating every advance as an assault.

Closing Thoughts

The feminist Millennial culture that has equated any discomfort with the violation of boundaries has eroded all the fun that men and women used to have in flirting and seeking a partner out in the wild. Many men have responded to feminist ideas that they ought to be viewed with suspicion by refusing to approach women in the real world entirely. But we can revive flirting if we handle male advances with grace, class, and a willingness to clearly communicate our boundaries.

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Here's how to flirt.

Don't be 285 pounds.

Smile and be interesting to women.

Profit.

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if you're really 21yo and happily married, then those of us who have been married since before you were born are merely pointing out we're a bit further down the road with real life experience than you.  So don't presume to lecture us.

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Yep.

Unless you are 100% certain it is a done deal homerun... don't go to bat.

It will be interpreted as sexual harassment.