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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:19:00 PM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:20:26 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What does "very cute but very homely" mean? that was my first thought |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:20:28 PM EDT
[#3]
OP, that was not a woman and not a boobie.
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:20:41 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Cute and homely? That's what I was thinking. Anyway, I like boobs. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:21:10 PM EDT
[#5]
did you tip her?
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:24:30 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryNo, that's legit homely. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:24:43 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your wife was in the room?  Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:25:33 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: i think having your tit in some guy's hand would be something a female person would definitely notice. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I think that moment meant more to you than to her. As in, it was accidental and she didn't even notice. I think you underestimate a woman's ability to disregard the placement of her yam bags when she's working with an adult. I have dental hygienist/assistant tits in my face every so often at the dentist. We are all adults so it isn't a big deal. ETA Oh, and when getting a haircut from the more blessed hair stylists... |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:25:44 PM EDT
[#9]
-5 internets for no "honk, honk!"
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:25:53 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: that was my first thought Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: What does "very cute but very homely" mean? that was my first thought I think he meant "very cute but very homey" Like the girl next door, cute and plain. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:26:14 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:26:52 PM EDT
[#12]
Yeah, well I was getting my hair cut at a Cost Cutters once and I swear the stylist brushed her boob against my arm.
No pics but she was a typical stylist for you leg humpers. An inky with purple hair and more issues than a magazine stand. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:27:31 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ok since this thread went so well, Ill probably post some more erotic stories from my past in new threads. What should I name the series? Longhorns Erotic Stories?? Did you really expect this thread to go better?  I vote your series name be "Sexy and Ugly, confusing descriptions of people by longhorn789" 
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:27:37 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: An inky with purple hair and more issues than a magazine stand. NOW we are talking! |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:28:31 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ok since this thread went so well, Ill probably post some more erotic stories from my past in new threads. What should I name the series? Longhorns Erotic Stories?? Yes, let me add one for you: Ladies and gentleman skinny and scout I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about The admission is free so pay at the door Now pull out a chair and sit on the floor On one bright day in the middle of the night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other The blind man came to see fair play The mute man came to shout hooray The deaf policeman heard the noise And came to stop those two dead boys He lived on the corner in the middle of the block In a two story house on a vacant lot A man with no legs came walking by And kicked the lawman in his thigh He crashed through a wall without making a sound Into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned A long black hearse came to cart him away But he ran for his life and is still gone today I watched from the corner of the table The only eyewitness to facts of my fable If you doubt my lies are true Just ask the blind man, he saw it too |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:28:35 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. Back into it and arch your back just right and you'll either have a good time or won't have to worry about getting another. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:28:54 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:29:25 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Did you really expect this thread to go better? I vote your series name be "Sexy and Ugly, confusing descriptions of people by longhorn789" Done! I like it!!! Go look for a thread with that title here in a few minutes |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:29:45 PM EDT
[#19]
You dont get out much do you?
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:30:41 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. Shit, maybe I need to get one. I'll check and see if my wife is free. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:30:51 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You dont get out much do you? You kidding me? I'm going to start going to the chiropractor more. 8 seconds of another woman's boob is a lifetime when you are married with two babies. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:31:08 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Back into it and arch your back just right and you'll either have a good time or won't have to worry about getting another. Don't forget to shout, " Oh God, yes, yes, YES..." at the top of your lungs. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:31:36 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Like, visibly hot, but very quiet and meek and with a small town way of talking. Homely = unattractive Mousy could have worked....(of a person) nervous, shy, or timid; lacking in presence or charisma. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:31:49 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Like, visibly hot, but very quiet and meek and with a small town way of talking. That's not what homely means ding dong. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:31:49 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Did you really expect this thread to go better? I vote your series name be "Sexy and Ugly, confusing descriptions of people by longhorn789" Sexy and ugly is a thing. Ie, butter face. Cute and homely is not |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:32:17 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Done! I like it!!! Go look for a thread with that title here in a few minutes Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Did you really expect this thread to go better? I vote your series name be "Sexy and Ugly, confusing descriptions of people by longhorn789" Done! I like it!!! Go look for a thread with that title here in a few minutes Just use language like you normally do, don't try to dress it up. I hope to be an avid reader! |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:33:11 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I changed dentists a few years ago and had a cute hygienist end up pretty much laying on top of me when she was cleaning my teeth. After a few minutes she had one of her legs between mine. I was thinking that if she didn’t move pretty quickly, there was going to be a normal, physical response to a pretty, young girl being where she was. She didn’t move and sure enough, it happened. I know she had to notice, but she still didn’t move. My next fear was she was going to start moving her leg a certain way and another normal response would happen, but she finally completed the cleaning. She was my hygienist for a few more years and didn’t end up in my lap again, so I’m guessing the first time was probably because she was new and more focused on cleaning than where she was laying. I’ll admit, though, I was eagerly anticipating my second cleaning. On my second visit, I would have eaten an entire package of Oreo's in the waiting room. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:34:29 PM EDT
[#28]
Didn’t realize Manti Te’o was posting on here
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:34:34 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: On my second visit, I would have eaten an entire package of Oreo's in the waiting room. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I changed dentists a few years ago and had a cute hygienist end up pretty much laying on top of me when she was cleaning my teeth. After a few minutes she had one of her legs between mine. I was thinking that if she didn’t move pretty quickly, there was going to be a normal, physical response to a pretty, young girl being where she was. She didn’t move and sure enough, it happened. I know she had to notice, but she still didn’t move. My next fear was she was going to start moving her leg a certain way and another normal response would happen, but she finally completed the cleaning. She was my hygienist for a few more years and didn’t end up in my lap again, so I’m guessing the first time was probably because she was new and more focused on cleaning than where she was laying. I’ll admit, though, I was eagerly anticipating my second cleaning. On my second visit, I would have eaten an entire package of Oreo's in the waiting room. 
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:39:13 PM EDT
[#30]
OP is trying to incite an erection.
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:39:59 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. lol... @GotGuns There is some truth to that. My eurologist insisnts on giving me a digital exam every fucking time I go. I since changed eurologist. I few times it was an actual prostate issue, then a epididymis issue, then for kidney stones in which he wanted to check my prostate.  And homeboy would press so damn hard, I'd have blood in my sack sauce after. 
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:40:50 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Is English your second language? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: What does "very cute but very homely" mean? Like, visibly hot, but very quiet and meek and with a small town way of talking. Maybe his wife is homely, too.
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:41:02 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think you underestimate a woman's ability to disregard the placement of her yam bags when she's working with an adult. I have dental hygienist/assistant tits in my face every so often at the dentist. We are all adults so it isn't a big deal. ETA Oh, and when getting a haircut from the more blessed hair stylists... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I think that moment meant more to you than to her. As in, it was accidental and she didn't even notice. I think you underestimate a woman's ability to disregard the placement of her yam bags when she's working with an adult. I have dental hygienist/assistant tits in my face every so often at the dentist. We are all adults so it isn't a big deal. ETA Oh, and when getting a haircut from the more blessed hair stylists... I get boobs on me on a regular basis when I get my hair cut. Gone to the same barber for many years. She does a good job. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:42:02 PM EDT
[#34]
I lost hard
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:42:03 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You touched a boob?!!?  What was it like? |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:43:07 PM EDT
[#36]
OP is still fappin' to a homely boob he touched 2 years ago.
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:43:47 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I was a young teen boy I had braces that required frequent trips to the orthodontist for adjustment and so on. One of the wonderful ladies working there always placed her breasts in my face while working on me. Occasionally those things would even brush against me. I, of course, logged these incidents in my pleasure journal. My wife puts braces on all day long. I just asked her about this and yup, it's a real thing! She's been doing it for 30+ years and never mentioned it to me. Anyway, many erections have been noticed. There is no way around it, the only thing she can do is work faster. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:45:20 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: lol... @GotGuns There is some truth to that. My eurologist insisnts on giving me a digital exam every fucking time I go. I since changed eurologist. I few times it was an actual prostate issue, then a epididymis issue, then for kidney stones in which he wanted to check my prostate. And homeboy would press so damn hard, I'd have blood in my sack sauce after. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. lol... @GotGuns There is some truth to that. My eurologist insisnts on giving me a digital exam every fucking time I go. I since changed eurologist. I few times it was an actual prostate issue, then a epididymis issue, then for kidney stones in which he wanted to check my prostate. And homeboy would press so damn hard, I'd have blood in my sack sauce after. Maybe he lost someone close to him to an infection in the Pyrenees gland and now he's on a mission? |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:45:26 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife puts braces on all day long. I just asked her about this and yup, it's a real thing! She's been doing it for 30+ years and never mentioned it to me. Anyway, many erections have been noticed. There is no way around it, the only thing she can do is work faster. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: When I was a young teen boy I had braces that required frequent trips to the orthodontist for adjustment and so on. One of the wonderful ladies working there always placed her breasts in my face while working on me. Occasionally those things would even brush against me. I, of course, logged these incidents in my pleasure journal. My wife puts braces on all day long. I just asked her about this and yup, it's a real thing! She's been doing it for 30+ years and never mentioned it to me. Anyway, many erections have been noticed. There is no way around it, the only thing she can do is work faster. 
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:45:59 PM EDT
[#40]
I had a hot looking female Chinese doctor as a GP for about 4 years. After checking me for hernias during a complete physical, she said: "Your testicles are nice."
I wanted to say: "Your tits are nice too", but I did not. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:47:05 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Maybe he lost someone close to him to an infection in the Pyrenees gland and now he's on a mission? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. lol... @GotGuns There is some truth to that. My eurologist insisnts on giving me a digital exam every fucking time I go. I since changed eurologist. I few times it was an actual prostate issue, then a epididymis issue, then for kidney stones in which he wanted to check my prostate. And homeboy would press so damn hard, I'd have blood in my sack sauce after. Maybe he lost someone close to him to an infection in the Pyrenees gland and now he's on a mission? ORLY? He said that it's because the prostate causes all kinds of issues like lack of sleep and shit.  |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:47:14 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just use language like you normally do, don't try to dress it up. I hope to be an avid reader! Its done! Go check it out! I posted an older story from my life but its there |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:47:25 PM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:47:31 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Cute and homely? Yeah, not sure what that even means? |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:47:58 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. I told my pcp that I don’t like the prostate check. He said, “If it makes you feel better I don’t like doing them.” It did make me feel better. |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:48:15 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: ORLY? He said that it's because the prostate causes all kinds of issues like lack of sleep and shit. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your wife was in the room? Is a prostate exam in your 30s normal? I’m 38 and haven’t had one thankfully. im 36 and probably had like 5. Dr Sausage fingers sucks. LOL, my wife, a PCP, says guys don't normally need them until they are 50 and they aren't really all that reliable as a diagnostic. I'm not saying your doctor is gay but he certainly likes to check the oil. lol... @GotGuns There is some truth to that. My eurologist insisnts on giving me a digital exam every fucking time I go. I since changed eurologist. I few times it was an actual prostate issue, then a epididymis issue, then for kidney stones in which he wanted to check my prostate. And homeboy would press so damn hard, I'd have blood in my sack sauce after. Maybe he lost someone close to him to an infection in the Pyrenees gland and now he's on a mission? ORLY? He said that it's because the prostate causes all kinds of issues like lack of sleep and shit. Well, "eurologist"... |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:48:26 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had a hot looking female Chinese doctor as a GP for about 4 years. After checking me for hernias during a complete physical, she said: "Your testicles are nice." I wanted to say: "Your tits are nice too", but I did not. yearly football physicals were done at school, a friend of mine who I had a thing for , her dad was the doctor. Her pops touched my balls and she did not....what a disappointing senior year. 
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:48:57 PM EDT
[#48]
I had a weird occurrence once at the doctors when I went for a physical once.
The doctor was exceptionally cute, like I thought maybe a Pornhub video was getting shot and I was an unknowing participant. I looked around, no cameras. Anyway we get about 10 minutes into her checkout when she abruptly states that I really need to stop masturbating. I was like why, and she said..... I'm having a hard time examining you while you masturbate
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:50:03 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had a weird occurrence once at the doctors when I went for a physical once. The doctor was exceptionally cute, like I thought maybe a Pornhub video was getting shot and I was an unknowing participant. I looked around, no cameras. Anyway we get about 10 minutes into her checkout when she abruptly states that I really need to stop masturbating. I was like why, and she said..... I'm having a hard time examining you while you masturbate  Attached File |
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Posted: 1/22/2021 4:50:45 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: yearly football physicals were done at school, a friend of mine who I had a thing for , her dad was the doctor. Her pops touched my balls and she did not....what a disappointing senior year. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I had a hot looking female Chinese doctor as a GP for about 4 years. After checking me for hernias during a complete physical, she said: "Your testicles are nice." I wanted to say: "Your tits are nice too", but I did not. yearly football physicals were done at school, a friend of mine who I had a thing for , her dad was the doctor. Her pops touched my balls and she did not....what a disappointing senior year. *Looks at state... I mean, a threesome isn't COMPLETELY off the table. 
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