Sounds like my sophmore year, minus the sob story g-friend. I had pretty cool roomates, one whose mom was from Jamaica would send Jamacian meat pies.  Did have a creepy one who would fap all the time and whose GF would give him rim jobs (according to the stories).

walked in on mine snorting coke once and another time banging his best friends sister in the bathroom.  

i kicked him out and he went back in the service, he couldnt handle college.  was a piece of shit.

I might have beaten him to a pulp after that

This isn't my story, but my stepson's:

His sophomore year of college he moved to a dorm that had 4 separate bedrooms that locked, and a common kitchen, bathroom, and living room.  He had requested the room with a couple buddies, so it's the three of them, and a guy they don't know.  The 4th guy is a great big black guy.  Seems nice enough, but kind of keeps to himself.

About 2 weeks into the semester they hear him having loud buttsecks with another guy.  

A high school friend of mine had a mother with Crohn's disease. A couple years after graduation, her mother passed away. She had nowhere to go, and I told her she could stay with us if she just covered her own food costs.

Something changed in a big way after her mother died. She started smoking and drinking. She got a job waitressing at Denny's and blew all her money on pointless shit. She ate our food and didn't resupply anything. Then the Cock Parade began. She started hooking up with all kinds of weirdos from Craiglist, and bringing them home. It was all over the place. Skinny nerds, big black guys, club kids... There was absolutely no standard. Pretty much anyone would do.

For a while she was dating a guy we only knew as 'Panda' - an ENORMOUSLY fat 'tattoo apprentice'. So basically, he hung out at a tattoo shop for little to no pay. He was covered in really poorly done work - including naked zombie lesbians making out on one of his calves. He was so fucking fat they were damn near life-sized.

Then she started dating some guy named Travis. He was 42, she was 20. He had some kind of birth defect, and had no fingers. Only stubs. He didn't work, and lived with his pothead son and his son's friends. She confided in me that she was trying to get pregnant with him, without him knowing, because she wanted a baby she could name after her mother. I asked her how she expected to pay for a baby with an unemployed sperm donor and a waitress' earnings. She said, "Oh, I looked into it. There's all kinds of programs that help single mothers. I can even get a car if I make little enough."

Another time she bragged about blowing her 'best friend's' huband, while her friend was asleep in the other room.

I put up with her shit as long as I could. I felt so bad for her, losing her mother - and I'd loved her mother very much. But at some point, I snapped, and I asked her to get out as soon as possible.

She left while we were at work. She left the door unlocked and her bedroom trashed. In the center of the floor was half of a $20 bill. The only money she'd ever given me in 6 months of staying with us.

Here's a picture. She has the body of a knobbly potato.

I've been close a few times but I avoid fighting when I can, especially since I'm trying to get another room. Someone's been coming into my room while I'm gone too. I'll come back from spendnig the weekend in Newcastle and my door and lights will be on. I don't see anything moved but it's a bit unnerving given the situation. I've moved about half of my stuff out to my friend's house so there's less to worry about at least.

my roomate uses to stay up all night playing wow, till he got that "itch in his pants", and beat off furiously into his socks, and threw them under his desk.

he ran out of socks by doing this but instead of washing them, he just went barefoot, even into the winter months in upstate NY.

never showered once the entire year i lived with him.

say him a couple years later - apparently he turned around his life after dropping out.

Jackson YES, Sheridan tho? I pillaged Sheridan for a few years seeing a girl that worked at Kmart, legit 8.

Cheyenne has a few but Jackson and Gillette reign.

I lived in a dorm my freshman year. My sophomore, junior, senior, and second senior year (hey I had a lot of fun ) I was in the fraternity house.

The dorm I lived in just had open room community showers, no dividers or curtains. There was some guy that I guess couldn't shower like that. Nasty fucker never showered. This guy stunk so bad you could smell him twenty minutes after he walked down the hallway. His roommate moved out within a few weeks. The RA's or whatever they called them had a meeting and basically had to order him to shower. I think he finally broke down and took a shower about 0400 when he knew no one was around.

After his one shower he went back to his old ways of not showering. There was talk about dragging him to the showers and hosing him down. People would spray Lysol under the door to his room to try and kill the smell. Oddly this nasty fucker had a girlfriend.

I also recall once when he took his bimonthly shower at 0400 a bunch of guys went down there and started showering and doing stuff in the bathrooms.

I had one roommate who failed out after a full semester of doing nothing but playing Final Fantasy somethingerother all day everyday, and spreading trash throughout the apartment.

Another one who was never technically a roommate (he never paid rent/had a bedroom/etc) but slept on the couch for about five months before we'd finally had enough and gave him the boot.  He "paid in kind" by filling the fridge with food he'd steal from the restaurant he worked at.  Stuff like 5-gallon cans of tuna.

Another roommate who used to get positively shit-faced falling down drunk.  He'd buy himself a dirty thirty of high life for whatever party we'd be having, drink 15 of them, go puke, then come back and drink the other 15.  He got really drunk one night with some conniving bitch who was very blatantly fucking with his rather tenuous grasp on emotional stability, and during the course of the evening decided he must be gay.  This being gay lasted about four days, after which he decided that he wasn't really gay.  I'm not sure what exactly brought him around.  His drinking continued to get worse, to the point that he'd basically drink himself sick every night.  I walked into the apartment one afternoon to find him drinking sloe gin from the bottle because he'd already finished everything else.  He'd spend all his money on booze, and at one point had a $7/week food budget, which he used to buy up $7 worth of scratch and dent canned food.  This all went into one pot at once, and he'd heat it up and eat from it two or three meals a day for the rest of the week.  

Towards the end of our having an apartment together, he'd come home from his job as a cook completely drunk off his ass at 3 in the morning, turn the TV on at full blast, and pass out in the easy chair.  The final straw was the time he came home from work in this state at 3am, and slowly dragged himself and his bike up the steps (we were on the second floor of a duplex, and the top of the steps was right outside my bedroom door) crying and generally whining to himself.  I opened the door to find him sprawled across the top of the steps with his shitty and now bent up bike, bleeding from the head and arm, and basically being completely out of it.  He claimed he was hit by a car, but to all appearances nailed a curb and wiped out all on his own.  I basically kicked him out of the apartment after that (I'm not really sure how, both our names were on the lease; but he left and I stayed regardless).

Now he's a real deal pre-op transexual.  There's lots more about him, but those are the highlights I can remember off the top of my head.

OK, I'll play.

My first college roommate was straight out of Deliverance. He was from backwoods East Texas and all he talked about was runnin' pigs with dogs and how to "break" a dog by tying it up in a tree so it's off the ground and beating it until it craps itself. He never went to class and was hooked on what he called Skittles which was Coriceden Cold and Cough medicine. They were little red pills that looked like Skittles. I guess they were benzodyazapines or something and they got him all high. He was taking 15 or 20 at a time. Anyhow, one night about 2:30 he rolled in the dorm room, whipped on all the lights and starts dumping Wal-Mart bags on the ground. He'd been on a shopping trip. I hollered at him with a WTF look and a big FU but he said, "Hold on dude, I'll be right back. Wait until you see what I bought." He comes back up and he has this orange and black tiger striped chair that sits way down on the floor. In profile it looked like a letter J and it rocked back when you sat in it. It was his Playstation chair. He proceeded to drink Mountain Dew and play Playstation at high volume until I left for class the next morning. Would not shut it off. I suppose his crowning achievement was when I woke up one night about 11:30pm and he and our suite mate were doing lines of coke off the top of my black laptop. Now, I was a criminal justice major, as was he, and we were staying a dorm full of CJ majors. I got up and took a whiz and came back in the room to see them huddled over the lines like I didn't know what was going on. I told them to get the eff out of our room with that shit. They obliged, which I do have to thank them for. Also, he introduced me to Duck Commander before they were a thing. That was pretty cool...

Anyhow, he was gone by October. Just disappeared. Never saw him again. Left all his crap. Had that tiger stripe chair for like 3 years afterwards.

After him, I got another roommate from a small town in East Texas but he was cool as hell. Computer Science major, Marketing minor. He did some awesome shit with a computer. Played a hell of a guitar too. I still talk to him.

After him, I had the no show roommate. He moved two boxes of clothes in the first day, then I literally never saw him again. He pledged some fraternity and was living in their house. He moved out over the Christmas holidays that year and left me to the roulette wheel of roommates from the student housing authority. This time, I got a foriegn exchange student from Saudi Arabia. He spoke about 8 words of English and had a laptop that always looked as if he was trying to communicate with Osama Bin Laden. (That's terribly racist of me. I don't care.) This guy, first of all, was very clean. And when I say that, I mean he was fastidious about appearing clean. He would take a shower for 2 hours at a time. I guess he was bending around, finding new ways for the water streams to deflect off of his sphincter or something because when he came out of the bathroom, it looked like he'd gotten water everywhere BUT in the shower stall. I swear, there was water on the ceiling, behind the toilet (which was around the corner from the shower head, which faced away from the corner where the toilet was). There was even water IN the cabinets with the doors closed. I don't understand it. That, and it smelled like Ocean Mist and ass. He then would come out of the bathroom and proceed to put on whatever the hell kind of Dubai Airport, Camel Musk, Curry Hummus cologne he'd bought by the bucket full. Then throw on an Affliction t-shirt and go out to "par-tee" as he would say. I used to do his 2nd grade level English as a second language homework for him just so he'd leave. He didn't do any of this stuff to specifically get my goat as it was with my first roommate, but he sure was annoying.

Anyhow, those are my roommate horror stories. Tame compared to some, but pretty rough at any rate.

A sophmore in college right now. Lived at home the first year. Live about a minute of campus with the sister this year.

next year im living with 8 people, most couples, so ill be sure to start a thread about me bitching about so many roommates fighting.

My first undergrad roommate would go to bed early and masturbate under the sheets. He would try to be really quiet as I was in the same room, on my computer, but rhythmic sounds and other cues gave him away. This happened probably 3-4 times a week.

Maybe I should have said, "dude, I can hear you?"

Nothing since has been nearly that bad.

I can't say I have any horror stories as I hardly have any stories from this kid.

Freshman year of college I roomed with two of my best friends from high school and one other random guy named Jon. It was a suit style dorm with separate rooms. When Jon was in the dorm he never came out of his room, yet I think he spent most of the time staying with his equally anti social girlfriend who was down the hall. I don't know if I saw him enough to say more than 10 or 15 words to him all year. If and when we did see him, he maybe muttered a hello but nothing more.


ETA: I just thought of a story I heard about some guy in my fraternity that was a year or two younger than me. This was a kid who came to college looking decently in shape at around 5-10 185lbs. During pledgeship most everyone loses weight. However, by December he probably weighed 250 pounds. If I remember correctly, this guy (it could have been some other nasty fucker) would jackoff on one of the corners of the walls in him and his roommate's shared dorm room. .

Update! Spoke with housing again today and the apartment is finally ready. I move in tomorrow ;)

No more craziness