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Hmmm...
Federal Premium LE Tactical TRU 55-grain Sierra GameKing BTHP:
Designed especially for use in the AR-type rifle, Federal’s Tactical TRU ammunition features several bullet variants, including the 55-grain Hi-Shok SP and Nosler Ballistic Tip. Particularly well-suited for home defense, the 55-grain Sierra GameKing BTHP (boattail hollow-point) carries a velocity of 2,815 fps and a penetration depth of 11.25 inches in bare gelatin of 11 inches through heavy clothing. Excelling in the FBI testing protocol, the BTHP penetrates 12.5 inches in wallboard, which is significantly less than other bonded soft points that may travel up to 18 inches. The BTHP is designed for rapid expansion and fragmentation, causing massive wound trauma on target without overpenetration. As a result, this cartridge is a great round for home or personal defense in highly populated urban settings.
Now this above is what I'm talking about.
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The minimum requirement for FBI standards in ballistic gel is 12 inches. To me, that's not enough. The minimum being 12 inches, with the max being 18 inches, somewhere in the middle is better if your intention is hitting vitals to stop an attack quickly. Personally, I want an exit hole if possible. You have to understand you may have to shoot through barriers, and then penetrate the body at an odd angles, and 11-12 inches isn't enough, and really anything in between 12" and 18" isn't.
Shot placement is king, but, you're not going to get the bad guy to stand still and pose for you. He's going to be moving around, and you better be moving around too, unless you have a good position with cover, if you don't want to get shot. You have to pick a bullet that will do the job and then some, and understand that there will always be dangers involved when shooting inside a building where there are other occupants.
One of the best things you can do is to have things planned out , where no matter where someone breaks in at, you can have a good probability of getting in an offset position, where you're firing away from your family, but that they are also firing away from them. Think of it as a triangle, with the bad guy at the top, you on one side, and your family on the other side. You should be able to pre-plan for some of that. but of course there's situations where you can't.
I'm lucky in that I live in a brick home, and it has some brick inner walls, with the bedrooms being protected from the kitchen / dinning room by it. I pretty much stay in the dining area most of the day. My setup is easy, in that my most probable areas of entry are not towards family. My back door is on my left side, about 60ft away, and my front door is almost across from me but where you can't see it, but I can fire through a sliding glass door that opens to the hallway and living room. The other primary access is a patio door about 5ft to my right, and I've got my AR mounted on the wall on two guitar wall hangers pointed in that direction, 6 inches from the wall, where all I have to do is flip the safety and reach up and start pulling the trigger ( if I'm surprised or asleep on the couch ), and I have my pistol 2ft from me under on a shelf under my laptop. I sleep in this room btw.
The brick wall is between me and the hallway to the bedrooms and master bath, which all on my right. My son stays in the master bedroom at the far end of the hallway, with both his pistol and rifle near his bed, and he can fire down the hallway if the attacker was to make it into the hallway, without fear of hitting me, because he can't shoot into this room without going through the brick wall.
Now, like I said, depending on the layout and construction of your home, the number and usual location of family members, it may be easier or harder to figure out how to plan for some of it, and there will always be situations you can't plan for, but you can plan for some of it.