I have guns stashed in arms reach all over the house.  

Tj Story Time "The uninvited Guest"

My wife and I lived in an all adult apartment complex.  We saw this ad for a hideabed couch on the bulletin board and bought it from a nice looking hair dresser that lived in the plex.  One afternoon, there came knock on the door.  It was the hairdresser dressed in nothing but a scanty bikini.  She asked if she could come in.  Odd that she was dressed like that, we said "Yes".  A man followed her in the door.  We, of course, assumed he was with her.  Instead of taking a seat on a couch, she took the bent wood rocker in the center of the room.  The man sat on the couch away from her.  She was obviously nervous but started talking small talk.  

All of a sudden, the man jumped up, crossed the room, back handed her, ripped her top off exposing her very large breasts, and said, "I'm going to Fxxx you whether you like it or not.  You p---teasing bitch".  My hand slips to my Smith and Wesson 9mm under the pillow beside me as I give my wife the high sign.  The woman is screaming as my wife goes out the door to my neighbors, Moose" to call 911.  He's pulling the woman out of the chair as I say in my very best John Wayne don't mess with me voice, "Leave the girl alone".  What he does next astounds me.  

He backs off and starts pounding his chest like an ape so hard the sound was almost deafening.  It had to hurt because his chest was turning blood red.  He started repeating over and over, "You can't hurt me" like he was some superman or something.  I bide my time and interject as the opportunity arose, once more in my most serious John Wayne voice, "I'm not going to hurt you.  I'm going to blow your brains out." The whole time, my hand was on my gun.  I'll never forget the look on his face as he realized he just went a bridge too far and I'll never forget that awkward time stands still feeling as I knew if he even flinched, I was going to have to shoot him.  

Fate or good friendship then intervened as Moose came though my door.  Moose was a dairy farmers kid from NY state that got his nickname for not being small.  He was my best friend at the time.  He and I rode motorcycles together so we'd been in situations where we had backed each other before.  The man turned to face Moose and I saw my opportunity.  Gun in hand,  I jumped up from the couch as fast as I could  and drove the barrel into his solar plexus with all my strength and weight.  He doubled over as the wind went out of him in a big "uhhhh".  Moose didn't hesitate a second.  He grabbed his trunks with one hand and one arm with the other.  Following his lead, I did the same.  We escorted him out the door to the three foot hill in front of my apartment down to the parking lot where we both chucked him down the embankment to the parking lot.  He landed chest first passing out and getting one the best road burns on a chest I've ever seen.  

Things under control and HPD on the way, I put my gun back under the pillow.  We explained to the police officers what had happened.  The girls story was unusual but it happens.  She had been at the pool sunning herself when this guy started hitting on her and touching her inappropriately. He wouldn't stop.  Because I was the only person she really knew and frankly I had a reputation in those days (I was older and the younger kids looked to me to resolve fights and stuff.), she had come to my apartment to get away from him.  She was flabbergasted and too afraid to say anything when he followed her through the door.  HPD, handcuffed him and threw him in the cruiser.  The guy was higher than a Georgia pine.  

After the girl thanked me profusely for saving her, she left.  I'll never forget what Moose said next.  "Nice Tits" and then he went home without another comment.  

These type incidents never are simple.  Believe it or not, this asshole had the nerve to come back to my apartment the next day.  I kid you not.  He apologized profusely for his conduct then asked me if I had found his wallet. I told him "NO" and I proceed to tell the dumb ass in no uncertain terms that that was the closest he ever came to dying in his young dumb life and I never wanted to see him again unless he risks losing his life again.  I told him I was glad I didn't have to shoot him, that would have been messy.   I never heard anymore about this for the charges would be pressed by the girl with the big breasts.  

I still have the very same bent wood rocker and to this day its a reminder.  Bad people can walk right into your door.  Now you know why, though I'm sitting at my desk, there's a XD-9 within hands reach.

Tj