Posted: 4/8/2008 7:39:59 PM EDT
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here's my thread ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=6&t=696672 maybe you guys might be able to chime in since you guys are from oregon |
 This coming from a happily married man..... Dump the cunt and move on with your life. ( YES, I said that! ) You are too young to fuck up the rest of your life because you "care" for someone who pretty much casually put an RO on you. That is about the most fucked up thing I have read this year. ETA: Ditto with the lawyer advice.... |
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I hope that you compiled evidence that you were out of town when her car was broken into, hard evidence. Witnesses, recepts from stores and gas stations. If you can't resolve this until the order runs out, it would be a good idea to loan all of your weapons to a friend. You need to drop this chick like she is bloody rag full of the HIV. |
I'm 45, i've seen this kind of stuff play out before, with me, my friends, and you know, it will work itself out ... No, seriously, contact an attorney, find some way to establish were you were when this happened, and go to school in another state. DTB? Yeah, I'd do that. 'cuss if you can't tell that this drama queen is trouble, take it from Uncle Vinnie, this young lady is trouble, and yes, it might be a funny story the two of you tell your grand kids. But JMHO, the odds of that are about the same as me hitting Powerball tomorrow night. Good luck. |
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Get out of the house and away from her. Get your guns somewhere safe and do not sign that RO. SHe has now FUCKED YOU OVER. Trying to get that cleared up will take some money and time. I say there is more women out there. By the way I am 33 and very happily married ( to my second wife ). BIGFOOT |
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you all are acting like i date crazy ppl.. i was suppose to get married to the bitch. the only problem she's super naive. she never knew what a RO was untill last week when her friend told her to do it. She lives with he parents and didnt consult them just went to the court house with this drugy friend she met at school. This is what i get for going for a innocent girl.. BTW this is the first problem ever its just so random. It's as if she's possessed by the devil. As for my Guns i "sold" them all to my brother in law. As for leaving the state.. hell no i'm not leaving Oregon, i didnt do anything to deserve this  maybe i'll give it a week time, not drive, or go out at night... and just wait till things go away.. lol |
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1. You don't need to sign an RO. It is in effect right now even if an officer is trying to serve you. Your 2A rights are stripped, and is a huge no no if you have firearms or ammo in your possession. Pass them off to a friend to hold, don't take them to your friend, have him/her come get them (still more or less constructive possession). Don't have your friend sell your firearms it still constitutes constructive possession. 2. Get an attorney and contest that ASAP. You have 30 days to contest after it either was filed or served (can't recall which) In turn the court will notify the petitioner within 5 days and you will have a hearing. Little or no cost would be a place like St. Andrews. Reading again, she tried to have the RO vacated and the court wouldn't? Thats bullshit, if the Petitioner wants the RO lifted she can do that. Sounds like a ploy to me. Seriously think worst case scenario here. Go back and get served. Do NOT under any circumstance contact her in any way shape or form. If her friends convinced her of all that shit then they are probably telling her to bait you into a situation where you might meet up with her and she will call the police saying you threatened her. Go get served and call for an attorney. Talk with the attorney about the situation, tell the damned truth about everything. Even if you did do something and if she can't back it up with proof you will more than likely the judge will vacate the RO in it's entirety. Credibility is the key, if you prove to the court that she isn't a credible person you will win. Other than that a temporary RO will last one year from when the judge grants it. If she doesn't go back at the end of the 365 days it will be dropped. If she goes back it's easy to grant another one year extension. Don't run from it. Contest that shit ASAP! |
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I just read the other thread. She cheated on you, right? I would not waste my time with this woman. Naive? Innocent? Sounds more like immature and easily manipulated. Not an ideal choice in a life partner. Her new friends are clearly not fond of you, that's a serious problem. A normal person does not casually involve the legal system into their personal lives. And since she's done it once, she'll do it again. Just like the cheating. And what's this about going to her work and telling her employer that she's been stealing from them? What kind of crap is that? If she is stealing, that's wrong, but you decide that your best move is to tell her employer? Lawyer up, get the RO cleaned up, and get her out of your life. No more calls, no more texting, no more emails to either her or her friends. Get her out of your life. just my 2 cents. |
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gradually as I enter my mid 30's, I am finding that if the opposite does not have my interest or hobbies or my beliefs, it is hopeless. Learn to find someone that meets your interest and goals in life. Somehow she listening to her friends than trusting you means its not working. BTDT And her friends were idiots and wanted to do the same thing to me but I set them straight because all of them were hipsters and thieves. They BORROWED nearly 5k from my ex girlfriend and she thinks it's normal. The power of a restraining order is bordering abusive and it can happen to anyone. I would sincerely hope that everyone here can see things on a different perspective instead of saying...OHH IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO ME. Boy you're fucken so wrong and you live in a dream world guys if you think the woman you married or your screwing right now after 11pm can still be your friend after either of you fuck up. Protect your assets and protect yourself. |
Wow, I hope you read what you wrote again, and think it through. We are all guilty of being "naive" about one thing or another, but to not think it out BEFORE acting on it is acting stupid. If there has never been any provocation before (especially after knowing you for two years opposed to two months with her friends) does she have the common sense to figure out who is a real threat to her? Or what a real threat is? Didn't she know that you always carried, or owned guns? And as for "I was supposed to marry the bitch" do you REALLY think it is worth saving if you refer to her as that? Just because you had make-up sex and she wants to drop it, doesn't change the fact that she did it in the first place (ie TRUST ISSUES on both sides.) Hell, even at 19, never having ANY experience with the RO process, I knew if someone was a threat, and when to take care of it (dealing with threats and harrassment before.) And I have dated some WEIRD guys before dating/marrying......a gun owner. Get a lawyer, see if it can get expunged or whatever ASAP with her assistance (yeah be nice.) THEN TELL HER TO KICK ROCKS!!!!!!!  concluded. |
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Once a cheater always a cheater! Work with her to get rid of the RO then eject. You know some cops will take you to jail, I had a friend that spent two weeks in jail and almost lost is job because his wife filed one on him because the attorney told her to. Because of that she almost lost the house right from under her. People need to think about what they do and what the outcome of their actions is going to be. If my wife filed one on me she would be out of my life PERIOD! |
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seriously man, stay at home, pull out you porn and have a wank instead of seeing this girl. That said, sorry I can't simply take your side in this, from your posts in this and the other thread, you don't sound any more mature or sensible or less of a vindictive head case than she is. Your story is full of inconsistancies and, frankly, bollocks, so I have a hard time believing that you are a completely innocent victim in this and that you are telling us the whole story.
huh ? There is any easy path of getting a copy of the RO, contesting it's contents, (you can prove you were in Seattle , right ? Never did threaten her in any way ?), and staying the fuck away from the girl , but you seemed quite determined not to.
So it was your good Christian duty to bone 'em out of her ? Can't remember Billy Graham trying that route... and for my prediction of the year....
 
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she's willing to get it dropped.. we both want it dropped. she thought she you can get a RO for a few days so i wouldnt call her and then just take it off. Why i'm pissed is both parties want it removed and they said she need to wait 60day and go thru some abused women course. I'm think that i will contest it and she will say what ever it takes for me to win What you dont understand is she's super caring but dumb as a rock at time. If she knew what a RO was a guarantee she would have never filed it. She still confused about a RO and got the RO for a break from me so i wouldnt not call her for the week end. She still like 60 isnt bad. And is like it only goes on your record if you violate it.. yada yada da you know those mistakes that ppl make in life when they are young, this is one of them.. Arghh.. if the judge only explained to her what a RO was than a would have to go thru this. When i was like why didnt you read the papers first, she was like it's 10pages long i just signed it. As for why i wanted to keep her. Cuz A- she's very caring B- Has what i think as the most ideal body C- Has no past history.. ( as for cheating, she didnt have sex or anything just went to a friends house who roomates with a 25year old air force dude who's always making moves on her.. we have a really right relation ship, she doesn't vist guys and i dont visit girls ) D- Doesnt care about my hobbies, Buys me ammo,parts.. and etc. But yeah thanks for the advice, i'm going to do what ever it takes to clean my record.. just wished there was an easier way out As for this Air force dude aaagh he's just a pansy. he's smaller than i and came up to me and was like you need to leave your girl because i'll treat her better than you. and when i told him to STFU he's like are you threating me i will call the police on you. you will get charged for assult on a lieutenant. Argh i'll have to wait till friday to go to the judge because of school. I'm just thanking god that i'm only taking 14credits this term |
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btw. I want to EJECT All i care is to get this shit of my record. I have worked so hard for the post perfect record ever. No Criminal, Driving or even a Parking ticket. My record is spotless and i'm going to keep it spotless. These are my 2 options A- Hire a lawyer ($$$) and contest the RO, and keep hiding from the LEO so i dont have to sign the RO. or B- Work together with the exGirl so that she will undo her mistake. ( she's going i'm sorry i didnt think it's like this, i'll do help you remove it... The judge told her it doesn't affect me unless i break the RO, but i will not belive that.. all the Engr internships that i did perfomed full background checks and stuff like this will mess my future up) Once i get her to clean up her mess.. Then I EJECT and never have contact with her. I would like to take B, because , She is wanting to work to get the RO off and it's not going to cost me money that i dont have |
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Dude, the RO will not go on your record. There is no signing. You just get served! Officer will just say "Are you Joe Blow? Ok, this is for you, have a nice day." and the officer will leave. The RO is in effect as soon as the judge signs it. Don't violate it. Hate me if you want but if she is the way you state, ditch the bitch and EJECT!!! I just went through this. Trust me, she is not worth your time! |
ooops ! let's hope he's not on ARFcom then...
sorry did I miss it, are you like, y'know, like totally a chick ? just asking. Walk away from this woman , this relationship and stop posting about your breaking of an RO it in a public place where she, her friends, anyone else who knows you, can read it. You are probably not a bad person, just one who's not acting in a very smart way. Hopefully this dumbness is just a by-product of these circumstances and you'll get better in time. Go back and read everything you've typed in these threads. Does it sound like you ? Rotor demon - i read your thread in the other place..your situation seems very different from this episode of the O.C. And I'm on wifey #2 too...
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Lol, it went from Perfect Fairytail to Crazy in just a matter of days. If i had seen this ealier i would have EJECTED loooong time ago. So now the main Q's is, Can a start a nude site if i took the pics since they are my property? AFCOM member will get first month free. Ineed to pay for my ammo since she's gone now |
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Dude - you're a fucking moron if you have any contact in any form with this person. You need to see a lawyer and do what he says. She currently has the ability to take away your second amendment rights for the rest of your life. You asked for advice on this board and you got pretty consistant input. Listen to it and do what it says. I'm betting that you continue to have contact with her and attempt to work it out without a lawyer and you get permanently screwed. hock.gif Listen to those who are older and wiser than you. |
| Please... Without concent you will pay dearly. All I can add to this thread is that you are too young for any relationship. Go to www.blowmeuptom.com . Tom Leykis is the professor, and you need to listen to him before it is too late. will change your life for the better. You can catch him on the AM radio band in Portland every afternoon. Leykis 101 - Learn it, Live it. |
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Well hasn't this all taken a very odd turn! I'm going use my once-a-year allowed "dad card" for this. (It's in the ARFCON bylaws, look it up) Son, "if" you do have photos of this young lady, get rid of them now. Burn them, shred them, send them back to her (NOT to her parents house, NOT with any residue) just make sure they are gone. You gain nothing from dragging this out, and stand to lose a lot. You say her friends talked her into the RO? What do you think her friends will come up with if you do this? And believe it or not, this is the sort of activity that will begin to haunt you around 40. The kind of thing you wish you could undo. Just take a deep breath, and step away from the drama. If you out, stay out. You have a long life ahead of you, you should not spend another minute of it acting like a 15 year old High School girl. (Dad of 3: 17 year old boy, 14 year old girl, 12 year old boy, and very happily married for 18 years  )
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Vinnie speaks sound sense. I know I'm not personally known to many of you, and sadly my work and other duties have prevented me from joining the fun every Month, but as one who has been involved in helping women get RO's against truly abusive spouses I will pontificate and be done with it. DO NOT under any circumstances contact this woman. Yeah, your small head is driving you on this, but having seen the photos, she aint "that" hot. Sorry mate, but there are plenty more fish in the sea that don't have snakes in their head. And if you get really lucky, some of them work hard, cook, clean, do your ironing and buy you guns and stuff because you're so incredibly awesome. (Mine does, doesn't yours?) Please understand (and I speak well from experience) that the bag of snakes inside her head will never stop hissing and spitting, and you will simply get bitten again and again. Except maybe at some point she'll be pregnant with your child, and you'll be the "terribly abusive kiddie-pervert" and then you'll be toast as it all gathers steam and she can't stop it with all the encouragement she will receive. I'm glad that you are lawyering up. That is the right way and the only way. There is a nice little vindictive cottage industry providing assistance and support to abused women. Some of it is well justified and needed, but having helped somebody get an RO against her abusive husband a number of years ago, I know it's far too damned easy and one-sided. So you need to be defended. I am not a lawyer so I'd suggest reading through the family abuse prevention legislation. http://www.leg.state.or.us/ors/107.html I skimmed it but could find nothing indicating what happens "before" you are served. But when you are served you will be going into NCIS and there will not (from what I can tell) be any avoiding that. So yes, your gun rights are going to get f'ed up until the order is terminated properly. Lovely girl aint she? See what she did to you to show you how much she "loves" you? As for the photographs. Grow up. Get rid of them. Best of luck. This is a lousy position to be in, and really really sucks. It's going to cost you money to clear it. Cheers 7.62 |
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In my 37 years on this planet we call Earth I have dated a couple women with snakes in their head. As to the photos burn them, if you need to pull the images out of your head once in a while just go to the Spank Bank part of your memory, but it really is better just to destroy the photos and forget about this um.... lady. As to the RO get the best and meanest lawyer your money can buy as it will truly screw you in the future. Try getting a job with decent living wages, buying guns, getting a CCW. At your age there are way more choices of SINGLE women to date/see/go out with/screw than there are at my age; I got married too young and it didn't work, grow up a bit in age and maturity before getting into a long term relationship/marriage. It really is ok to be single (even for a balding hairy man such as myself). Good luck to you and I hope you make good choices in life, and if you can't make good choices at first that you gain wisdom from the bad choices you make and the consequences that follow. Dave |
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Wow, go away for a couple days and all kinds of action. I skimmed the thread and didn't see if you mentioned the county. That can make a big difference. Here's the deal on a restraining order with few exceptions. SHE WINS. If you fight it and she wins, you lose your gun rights until the RO expires (1 year unless she renews it). If she alleges abuse, as defined in ORS 107, that occurred in the last 180 days. You lose. The broken windshield might not be sufficient to prove abuse regardless of your alibi. If she states you pushed her, grabbed her wrist, or other physical contact then that is enough. She also needs to declare she fears further abuse if the RO is not granted. In front of some judges this opens the door to things she says happened in the past. Arguments like "she's unstable, hormonal," etc. don't work. They are used by every abuser. Willfully avoiding service might be bad. Having any contact with her is bad. In the other thread some guy from Georgia said he locked women up for having contact while the woman had an RO out against the guy. That is not how it works in Oregon. You are prohibited from contacting her. She is not prohibited from contacting you. Once you are served if you have contact you go to jail and get prosecuted for a violation. That is a bad thing. Gun Rights: You lose your gun rights if after an opportunity to contest the RO you lose. There is an argument that if you never appear (that means you don't file an answer or request for hearing) then you don't lose your right to possess firearms. That hole may have been recently plugged. If you request a hearing and she shows up and says you grabbed her wrist once in the last six months and she is afraid of you. You will lose. There may be a few cases out there that went the other way depending on the judge but you are looking at about a 90% loser rate. If you get an attorney and she doesn't then your success rate will go up. If you want this over quicker than the 60 days then get served, request a hearing and show up for the hearing. If your girlfriend is so against the order then she doesn't show up and it gets dismissed. Here's the hitch, I have been involved in many cases where GF says she is going to drop it and says she won't be at the hearing. The guy(client) shows up without the planned witnesses and tells me she's going to drop it. I tell my client he should have listened to me and then we go to court. GF is there, puts on a case, and all the guy can do is say "uhhhh, wudn't me". Then sometimes in the really bad ones. Always happens in cases where my client is sure I'm wrong. A few weeks later GF calls up guy and gets him over to the house (where he is ordered not to be) with make up talk and littlegirl voice. While he is there she calls the police and he is arrested and taken to jail. Sometimes this is what happens. Stay away from her. After 60 days she can take a class and get it dropped. The whole reason for the wait is that domestic violence goes in cycles. From your thread your relationship appears to go in cycles. This is what the court wants to avoid. The cycles typically escalate. Abuse - oh I'm so sorry it'll never happen again- make up/honeymoon- normal life - then another abusive occurrence etc. It appears the two of you go through this. The abuse at this point may not be physical but cheating on you, you going to turn her in at her work, calling her a bitch, her accusing you of false acts - all could fit in the abuse section of the cycle. The court, law enforcement and advocacy centers aren't there to babysit people. When someone gets a restraining order it is serious. The people are told it is serious when they get one. She might say she wasn't told but chances are she was. After that my advice is be careful around her. Some say stay away but that may not be the answer. It is one answer that would work. |
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Yeah i know my life is pretty much f'd cuz of this.. I'm in benton county and i guess she can call me all she wants but as soon as i pick up the phone it's breaking the RO. I never knew how messed up the sytem is. I just want to fix my record and get the hell away from this B*tch. I'm going to have to ask my single mom for some $ to fund this but this aint gonna be easy. Yeah i'm going to see a legal advisor on Wed and see what they say and see if they can find me a goo lawyer. Either have her go cry to the judge to remove it, or file an appeal and go from there. I just dont see how all this shit can come onto me based on just someones words. What was scary is she's threating me that if i contact her after the RO is dropped her freinds are going to make up a story that i threatened then with a gun or what ever they decide to say... Pretty much i'm going to get this RO off, and then GTFO of here.. i may just have to move to Washington or something. |
i thought you said after all your make up sex, everything was back to normal... or is she on her period again ?  surely you're not in contact with her now ? |
it was back to normal, but when she went to the judge to remove it the following day and found out she has to wait 60days and it's not little thing to play with. She keeps on saying "You are being crazy; it's not a big deal; it only goes on your record if you hurt me; why are you getting upset about it; See, thats why i got it because this is just proves to me that i do something little and you get upset more than what it is". So she told me it's not big deal just be good for 60days and it will be all gone. And i replied, I aint waiting 60days, i'm going to get a lawyer and appeal it and between us 2 it's over and i'm never going to talk or be with you ever again. So now she's all pissed because she relized how she F'd up this relationship and knows for a fact that I will NEVERtake her back. She's like "Can we be best freinds atleast..etc", HELL NO, as far as i feel she's just at the same level to me as Hillary |
Chess isn't your strong point is it? Pissing off the woman who can strip you of your gun rights FOREVER probably isn't the best move. Kiss her ass, but tell her you will go to jail if you talk to her before the RO is gone. Let her think you want to be with her, don't talk to her while the RO is in effect, and once the RO is gone change your phone number and NEVER speak to or acknowledge her again. Your best bet - change your phone number and move. She holds all the cards, don't rattle the cage. PS. - Get rid of ALL of your guns and ammo now. PSS. - Stop posting on the internet that you are aware a RO has been filed against you and you are knowingly violating it. Otherwise you'll be off to FPMITAP and NEVER be able to legally own a gun again. |
 I couldn't find applause. Reading this makes me think of my two boys as they get older; there are some crazy girls out there!.....but as mini_camo likes to say (when he gets out of sorts) "I need a kickinthebutt!"  We all need it from time to time...
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Oh man, this thread is making my head spin. This looks like a train wreck and I can't take my eyes off of it. This is not the time to panic. Sure things can go bad but now is not the time to act like you think they will. Please play it cool. Relax. You are very emotional, which is not a bad thing unless it causes you to make poor decisions. Upsetting her was not a good call but you don't need to worry about that now. Start thinking a little more strategically and be patient. I think you want it fixed today and that is not going to happen. Think about a marathon and plug away till it is fixed. Another reason why sex before marriage will bring more pain than pleasure. If you are a praying man, now is the time. |