Posted: 2/3/2010 4:51:46 AM EDT
|
never in my wildest dreams would i ever thought i would author a thread like this. i have been through cancer/chemo/pulmonary embolisms you name it its happened.....but this is by far the worst pain. it sucks.
that is all. just had to vent a little. |
|
If you have any joint bank accounts, secure funds. Nothing you can do if she cleans you out. Have you filed your taxes already? If not, she can file head of household, claim any kids, and leave you owing the Feds and State. And there is nothing you can do about it. Got a buddy you can trust with your firearms? If so, "sell" him your collection with an understanding that you will "buy back" once divorce is finalized. Any joint credit cards? If so, cancel it before she maxes it out. Go on the defensive. If you can, hire a female lawyer that's known as a barracuda in the divorce field. If you have any kids, be a father to them and tell your soon to be ex-wife that she needs to be a mother to them. Above all, the kids are not to be used as "bargaining chips" in the divorce proceedings. Keep your head up. Protect your interests and assets. Good luck to you. |
|
I thought it sucked too. Thought I was at the lowest point in my life.
Now I see how it was the best thing to ever happen to me (and my Ex). We left before we hated each other. Doug handled things for us and we parted in the best way possible. Now I have an incredible woman in my life who makes me a better person. I am happier than I've ever been. Divorce isn't so bad once you get through the tougher parts of it. You too will come out a better person. Mark |
|
Damn man, I am sorry to hear it.
Ive been there done that, and it I was greatful when I finally signed the papers and it was finished. I married young, and it failed early, but drug out for a while due to neither of us wanting to file. I moved on and found a wonderful woman who I am with now and I wouldnt trade her for the world, but I wouldnt give 50 cents for another one either. |
|
It does suck man. I understand the earlier issues now and I'm sorry. I've been through it, with a kid and you are lucky that at least there is no child involved in that.
I can say that it goes get easier after a while. I met a lot of great women and some very exciting girls after mine. |
|
It's a depressing time and the best thing I did was continue to push forward and be as positive as possible, while dealing with the grief and stress as best I could by dating 19 year old college girls and trying out new hobbies/adventures to break out of the rut.
Lean on your friends, express yourself just like you did, and get back out in life. At least the pain lets you know you're alive and can feel. Lifes about the journey as much as the destination, and experience says this will just be another story in 10 years. Good luck. |
|
Take it from an old guy, the pain you feel now will fade. But don't fall into a bad state. Mine was back in 1985 after 16 years of being married and 2 kids were involved. I had to be decent even though she was having an affair. Fell deep into going to bars, starting fights, almost lost my job, drinking increased, gained weight and it took about 8 months to get my act together.
I found a great woman at the gym and we have now been married for 23 years. So take heart, it will get better. |
|
The crap that leads up to it sucks. The process sucks. The aftermath...well you can decide if it sucks or not.
I agree with taking some time to evaluate yourself - change, improve, redirect, rededicate yourself to the things that you may have neglected, forgotten or have always wanted to do or be. The Monk says my divorce is the best thing that ever happened to us  because I came out of that experience with a clear idea of what I wanted for my future and the future of my son. I was determined not to be bitter and angry. That was a lifetime ago now and just I think I couldn't possibly be happier my life gets better and better.
...You could always have a theme song or two to help you get through the times when you are really frustrated...Mine was "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails 
|
|
BTDT, sorry to hear you're going through it. Glad you don't have kids to worry about, I just had the ex call a little while ago to talk to our daughter (who wishes she'd known who it was before saying she could talk on the phone). Any time you're talking to your lawyer, the meter is running, so try to be organized and down to business, if you need to talk to someone for support, talk to a friend or a therapist, they bill less (even if you're buying the beer when talking to the friends). |
| I'm in the middle of one too. After 20 years she suddenly needs her freedom. Says she still loves me but not as a husband. I took it real hard at first but I'm getting over it. We're still friends and it's going to be an amicable split. I just wish it wasn't happening at all. |
| I'm a club member too. It does suck. I was married for six years, with her for seven. No kids. I had to learn to be patient with the people around me who were trying to be helpful. They said they same type of things they would say if you lost your job, broke your arm, wrecked your car, etc which made me want to choke people because the severity is so different. The one thing that was said that was actually accurate was that TIME does makes it better. |
|
I'm hoping to get a report of the ice conditions, but haven't heard any good news yet. I may make some calls later today.
We're gonna get rain toinght but the NC Mtns may get winter weather. Edit - looks doubtful, Intellicast says high 30s and rain for Highlands. |
|
Next few weekends are going to be hectic for me. I am probably not gonna get a chance to get on the ice this year. I am probably gonna try to hit the rock hard this year (that was my plan last year too.....)
Brother, I feel your pain. What part of the state are you in? |
|
I'm often looking for climbing partners, shoot me an email.
Its not exactly climbing weather lately, cold and wet, not so good. We had 3 good weeks of ice and then it washed away. I prefer rock but ice is OK. I'm mostly doing easy/moderate trad climbing, granite slab, and like multi-pitch routes. Occasionally get on steep sandstone or climb sport routes. Good info on local climbing can be found in the destinations section of the Mountain Project website or at Coolclimbing.com 
|
