Posted: 7/28/2008 4:37:49 PM EDT
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Today was a busy Monday at my office. Normally I don't share war stories from work but this one was a doozy. This guy and his mom walk into my office and say another attorney referred them to me. It happens alot, the other guys around sometimes have conflicts of interest or they have a court date they can't get out of, so they send people to me because I'm honest and I try to take care of my clients (and, uh, I need the work so I rarely turn them down, but I've been doing that more often recently). I ask them what their situation is and they hand me a civil breach of contract lawsuit with themselves named defendants, and Chrysler Corp. the petitioner. I speed-read it in about a minute and they've failed to make payments on the vehicle and the vehicle has been repossessed, and Chrysler wants damages. Skip to the end of the petition, scan for a number, and Chrysler is wanting $17,000. The conversation then goes something like this:  Duke: "Ok, so they want 17 grand and they repossesed your vehicle. What kind of car was it?" Fool: "It was a really nice truck, a Dodge 2500 4-door with big tires."Duke: "Ok, cool, nice truck, what was it new, about 20 grand?" Fool: "No, more like 38 thousand. But they sold it after they took it from me." Duke: (looks through paperwork frantically) "Ok, ok, I see here, they got 21 thousand for it at the auto auction, so that's where the 17 grand figure came from. 38 minus 21, got it. So what do you want me to do for you here?" Fool's Crypt-Keeper lookin' mother: (sighs and shifts her weight from one massive hip to the other) "We ain't got the money." Duke: "I can see that. What kind of income do you have coming in right now to work with? Have you offered to make payments to the company on the account to keep it out of court?" Fool's Jabba-the-Hutt lookin' mother: "I get a check for $400 a month." Fool: "I'm a Union pipe-cleaner and I'm laid off right now, have been for awhile. When I got this truck I could afford it because I was making $2,000 a month, but now with bein' laid off and all, after child support to my bitch ex-wife I only get like $150 a month after garnishments and such." Fool's Jack-o-Lantern lookin' mother: "I offered to pay them $50 a month but since we ain't made a payment in more than a year they said no. They said to come to court and we would want a lawyer so here we are."Duke:  I told them that they needed to go to court, with or without a lawyer, and prepare to have their wages garnished further, and that I would be unable to secure a better outcome for them at this stage of the matter. I know the big 3 are in trouble right now, but seriously, who the fuck finances people like this on a $38,000 truck? If that guy was pulling $2000 a month when things were GOOD, that means he's got $24,000 in total income for the year. That means he's paying a year and a half income for a pickup truck. Plus, Union guys KNOW that they are going to be laid off usually more than half the year. Shit I've been a union electrician since 1990 just to have it on my resume' and I've never once got called in to work (ok that's not true but I had you going there for a minute didn't I?). I don't claim to be good with money, but this one I just had to share. I was just staring at this guy's "Proud to be Union Pipe-Cleaners No. 234" embroidered shirt in disbelief. What the fuck 
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That's pretty much what Fool's Rosanne-Barr's-uglier-sister-lookin' mother said. "They wanted $600 a month, as if we could!" Uh, lady, my fucking mortgage doesn't cost that much, and that's with property taxes and home insurance rolled in. Again, to reiterate, what the fuck 
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You'd have to live in my town. You know, the town where the mayor had a quote in the newspaper last week about looking for a new City Prosecutor because the old one charged by the hour and cost more than $15,000 last year? "Mayor Mike Wakeman says he has no problem with current City Prosecutor Michael Branson, except paying him." Yeah, that town. Living cheap means living in a place where everyone else is cheap. You want to live in a place that has money, you'll live in a place that costs money. Its that simple. On the other hand, I've been told that a lap dance at the "Playhouse" strip club on 50hwy is down to $20 these days. For $200 you could have naked women draped all over you like your favorite R&B artist all night long. So maybe its not all that bad, if you aren't already married like I am (and you don't mind the smell of skank). |
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I beg your pardon, but I must digress...WTF is a Union Pipe Cleaner??? Aren't pipe cleaners sold at Wal-mart in the craft section in packages of 24 or so for $ .99 ?? ~Ed Im a Sprinkler Fitter, sometimes mistaken for a Pipe Fitter but never heard of a (capitalized) Pipe (capitalized) Cleaner. 
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Address please!!! 
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Duke, I feel your pain. Being a Finance Manager for so many years, I've seen a LOT of people like that. Hell, I just had some today. Those are the same people that come into my office, and ask me stupid questions like.... Customer: I paid my last loan perfect for 2 years. Why can't you get me financed? ME: Well, because you only paid it for 2 years, it was a 5 year loan! or Customer: I haven't missed a payment on my Credit Cards, I don't understand why my rate is so high. ME: Well, because you didn't pay your car payments for the last 2 months. Customer: Well, I was saving for my down payment for this car.  I know I'm not as funny as Duke is, but you'd have to be in the Car Business to understand. DBAR |
Drive to Warrensburg, look for skinny women with bad ink. Follow them. |
Go to Sedalia. Go West on 50. You can't miss it.
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Or so you've heard from friends? Strippers in Warrensburg are methed-out single moms, or so I've heard. |
Yeah, so I've heard from friends. Too old and too married to pay money to look at boobers anymore. I can always grab my wife and say "hey honey, show me your boobers" and there they are. Yay! Thanks hon. Then I can go back to SportsCenter or Rainbow Six Vegas 2 or whatever, and I don't have a massive headache from rap music pumped up to "11" blaring right in my ear all night. And it didn't cost me any money. Strip clubs just aren't too exciting anymore. I'd much, much rather spend my time and money at the shooting range. I agree with another poster here who once said "Strippers are just hookers who are afraid of commitment. They act like porn stars right up until its time to actually get down for some porn." That's a wise man right there. As far as them all being meth heads, I dunno. Not my problem, not my people. Just stay away from me and mine, crazy bitches. |
Humm.....i like crazy bitches. seems like that's the only type i can actually keep. good girls want no part of me and the strippers and crazy bitches i fall for cause i think i can change them. i know i am stupid. but hay i haven't dated a stripper in 10 years....come to think of it i haven't dated anybody in 10 years. umm i see a problem. so highway 50 hummm....well bud you know my type when you see one come in you law office hook a brother up. also funny story, sad but funny. they gave the guy the loan since he was still living at home and probably before taxes and the ex wife and child support his gross was probably around 60k a year. i think in the next year bud, your not going have to worry about work, if you want bankruptcy cases and stuff like that. heck you might get all the guns you want from me being a client. you never know. Ronald |
Aww...come on. You know better than that!  Wiminz always cost money!But at least you got a good one. She puts up with you and is pretty fun to be around too. Not all that many wives will let you bring a group of 3 guys over to the house at 9pm at night, one being a stranger and play with guns! |
Come on guys. Going to the strip club just a few times a year will help support single moms. Think of it as charity What is realy funny here is how a funny story from Duke has moved into a discussion about stripers and hookers |
ROFLMAO!! What do you want to bet, they bought this truck from my dealership??!! |
+1  
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Damn guys, I think I founded this club! |
Hey now, I think I've got it good if I can spend $10/month on ammo! |
I am the only member of my family to ever have a college degree. Granted that it is only an Associates in Arts from Longview Community College but it was the best 10 years of my life.
I am a member of this club. $10.00 a month for ammo equals two rounds of .308.
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You want to know what's even worse than that?? On my father's side of the family, back in the Old Country, they were LOADED! When I, and my brother 4 years later, were born, a couple of Aunts put together a trust fund for each of us, something to the tune of a quarter-million each. SCORE!!! But, and isn't there always a but, pops saw himself as quite the entrepreneur back in the 70s after leaving the Naval flyboy service in the Old Country and moving to the States with mom & the kids, and was never much into the old 9-5 grind. Amway, used refeer equipment to 3rd world countries, etc. And do you want to venture a WAG as to who the aforementioned generous Aunts put in charge of the trust funds? Go ahead, I dare ya. Well guess what, soon it was all gone. Poof. Vanished into poor business decisions, imported hand-rolled cigars and supa-fly 70's clothing. So, I should have had some money with which to get the proverbial ball rolling, but got shafted by The Man!
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Already doing Chapter 7s for people. It amazes me how deep you can get. How the hell can you default on loans to 40 creditors? After the first 20 or 30 defaults who keeps lending these people money? Or did you just borrow from 40 creditors all at once, and default all at once? I don't understand. |
Ouch....... |
I've lived in the area for just over 7 years and never had the desire to go to any of the local strip joints... |
That doesn't really happen. If you take down the lender in a BK, then you loose the car. |
Haven't been married very long? I SWEAR that my wife's favorite song has to be "Can't touch this" by M.C. Hammer!!!!!!!!!! Hell, one dry period was SEVENTEEN MONTHS!!!!!!!! PursuitSS |
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I know some folks who tried that! Had about 3 consolidation loans and no jobs so they filed Bankruptcy "Gonna get to keep the car, and house, and so forth..." First thing the Court did was order them to turn in the car. Then they begged the court to let them get a loan to buy a new car??? Finally they BSed the Dream Factory, and got a car and a trip to Disney!!! W T F????? |
As a wife I'm just saying. You've got to be doing something wrong. |
Yeah, I got married! PursuitSS |
Matthew10_28 gets to see my boobers because we're married. |
Seriously... I never saw them before I was married. Now I get to play with them whenever I want. All the people who say there was so much sex/boobs/blowjobs/etc. before marriage and none after, are definitely doing something wrong. Maybe it's something about couples who do everything before they get married that makes physical intimacy much less likely after they are married. |
And you know what I like about it, not once has someone asked to see anyone else's boobers. I think that smacks of class. If this thread were in GD, we'd have a post wanting to see said boober immediately after boobers were mentioned. |
TNP, I'm in the same boat, nothin before, almost all I want after There's a lot of truth to your statement, I've seen a lot of people prop up a poor relationship with sex and "intimacey", get married and subsequently get divorced. Especially if sex is used as a bargining chip by either party I'd imagine the odd's get worse. Polytech |
It is always implied in order to verify the validity of said boob-availability claim that pics are required, or it didn't happen. And if you hadn't said "don't touch the wet paint, I wouldn't have touched it either.
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RE: Poor credit decisions. It is completely amazing the shit people will get into with money. The best thing that 90% of the dumbshits in this country could do for themselves is separate their ego from their transportation or address. RE: 'Boobers'. They are wonderful, and I love them. RE: Strippers. I think I've contributed as much as I possibly can to this thread. You are all very welcome.
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