Posted: 2/6/2007 8:17:55 AM EDT
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youtube.com/watch?v=hr23tpWX8lM "So besides all the ruckus, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?" |
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My backup alarm system is 100% bump-resistant and doesn't require batteries or a phone line. It is 100# of female black lab fury (with a little Mastiff, or horse, in her too) that is totally invisible in a dark room. The female of the species is always the most dangerous. And she doesn't make a single peep before biting the snot out of anyone she doesn't know who is in her house. 
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Why -Duke-Nukem- hates the media: "What you don't know about Lock Bumping... could KILL you..." Action News 5 interviewed this new mother about how she felt about Lock Bumping: "My mother taught me to irrationally worry about things from when I was a little girl, but I didn't know about Lock Bumping until I had my baby. After my first child was born I subcribed to Worry Magazine, the Magazine for Suburban Moms, and read that Lock Bumping could kill your child. I immediately demanded that my husband buy new locks, an alarm system, and a bunch of other stuff that the news anchor guy said would help. He's cute but his hair looks funny, don't you think? Anyway, why doesn't the government do anything about Lock Bumping?" Hey you dumb broad I've got something else for you to worry about. Its $300 worth of Mossberg Breacher and it'll turn your expensive locks into powder.  I don't care how loud your alarm is, I had to wear earplugs for the shotgun anyway. The autocall? Here's how the chain works. The autocall calls ADT, they read it as an intruder, they call you to confirm that its an intruder, you vacillate about whether or not its a false alarm for awhile, then you decide its probably not a false alarm and they should send the cops, they hang up and call dispatch, dispatch calls for a black-n-white in the area to respond, the car acknowledges the response and has to drive to your neighborhood and find your house, the cops get out of their car and ring your doorbell to check on you, you show up at the door and let them in to start searching the house. By that time, I'll already have your baby's liver packaged up and ready to sell on the black market for baby organs that you saw featured on last night's Action 5 broadcast. Because "what you don't know about the infant organ black market... could KILL you..." |
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Three dogs and a sh**load of loaded guns at various places through out the house means if ya wanna rob me ya best do it when I ain't at home. Oh yeah, I also carry my CCW piece all day long even when home. I only put it away to shower and sleep. Ummm... am I starting to sound a bit like the stereotypical gun toting paranoid tin foil hat survivalist?? |
If you wear aluminum foil undies then yes... yes you are. HAHAHA ALUMINUM UNDIES! I KILL ME! 
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LMAO! |
Get a Glock and then you can even shower with your piece. I do however draw the line at sleeping with a gun though. I tried to keep one under my pillow once, but I found myself waking up with the pistol either already in my hand, in bed with me or on the floor somewhere clear across the room.  NOT cool with a Glock without a manual safety lever.Now I use one of those electronic keypad pistol lock boxes next to the bed and it only takes a few seconds to get the pistol from it. The slight delay is good because you REALLY want those few seconds to wake the heck up so you don't shoot your wife/girlfriend/child/mother-in-law accidently as they wander around the house at night in search of snacks. |
