[ARCHIVED THREAD] - WTF? Child support (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/14/2005 8:09:11 AM EDT
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miss one payment by their time table and they suspend the DL. I see posters with people with $50K + in back support and then this shit. WTF kind of horse shit is that? Chris |
But damn man. we're talking one payment being late and I told them exactly where I was going and did everything but cough and bend over to comply. one payment is late and they take the main means to make the cash to pay it. that's lunacy!!!!!! they got my damn check already,(late yeah, but it's there) still suspended the DL. I can see yanking around someone who doesn't pay and hides from them. but damn, I am always in contact with payment, to check my status and update my info. WTF? is it just because I comply they do this crap, because they can find me? Chris |
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That sucks man. Want to hear another one? I work as a sales/finance manger at a Toyota dealership. There is only one thing on a credit report that will disqualify you from getting a loan from Toyota Financial and that is past due child support. With enough down payment money, they'll take folks with prior bankruptcies, collections and even repossessions, but never past due child support. Just be careful with it. |
yeah, they'll trash any chance of credit. shit don't seem right to hammer a man paying his bill only to be screwed over for paying them and keeping info updated as asked.  even worse, not a damn thing I can do on the holiday weekend about it  wish I had the weekend off.just sitting here behind the  Chris |
it's through the state, I sure don't feel like a deadbeat. never had court at all, just an order from the state that came in the mail and a notification of obligation letter a cop delivered years ago. dunno, I ain't driving so I'm not real sure how I'm going to pay them during the time I can't get to work or anywhere else. I ain't driving on a suspended. They got me by the sack and no reason.Chris |
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The child support laws in this country are pretty much bullshit. I think it's fucked that a woman spends an evening on her back and gets 18 years of monthly payments for it.  I think that instead of cash payments, a guy should be able to go before the court at a reasonable time interval (once a month? quarterly??) and produce recipts totalling a court prescribed amount of $$ "You're honor, here I spent $50.00 on dress shoes, here I spent $150 for medical expenses, here I spent $500 on school clothing, here I spent $1,200 on a new PC for homework and study use..." Instead its: "You're honor, my boyfriend needs a new transmission for his '83 Camaro and the bastard is 3 DAYS LATE with MY money!!" Sounds like a potential candidate for a FREE court appointed Mag lite 
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Amen brother. it's like strong armed robbery at this point. fight it, and they'll make it worse. I just don't get it.  punched in the dark even.no wonder people wind up singing to the padded room.  Chris |
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Welcome to the cycle. A guy I went to highschool with got married had children, got divorced, and then married again had children and got divorced. He lost his job way back when and gets behind in child support. For about two years after that, everytime he would get a job wife A would have his ass thrown in jail in fear of wife B getting her support first and vice versa. All that jail time, the guy couldn't hold a job. Last I heard of him was in a newspaper in Charleston WVa for having been dumped into a garbbage truck while sleeping in a dumpster. Now tell me how many people can keep a job without a drivers license? Time to sell a gun buddy and anty up! Your priorities in life have been set for you by the court. Tj |
that's just it, they got my check  that's sad for that guy you knew. could be any of us, couldn't it? with this type of BS anyway. Chris |
Wise words indeed. My personal situation aside, I hate to see a brother down and hope you're able to get your situation resolved quickly. Mike |
I can see the support receiver side too with you example. but I'm paid up  I mailed it approx. 2 weeks late. and I surely understand the need for the money in your situation. but our situation is more as nationwide described above. they sure ain't hurting for the $350. and as of about 1/2 hour or so ago know nothing of the hassles (could be yanking me of course. )this is the state apparently?edit:  computer glitch?and to take the DL for that is crazy. and doubt it would help you to get your money faster for sure.(hope that came out right? no slight) I'm actually good til Feb. on the support but can't drive to get there to make it to pay them. + reinstatement fees at the DMV. Seems very counterproductive, and sure doesn't help anyone in the long run. would you agree with me on that? Chris |
Thanks for the thoughts.  Chris |
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I know this isn't going to sound right, but it seems like part of the story has to be missing. I think you would be the first person that has lost their liscense for a being two weeks late(at least that I've heard of). Do you have a history of being late, or something similar? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but it just seems strange that the state would take such a drastic action for a first time offense. If this is a first time thing for you, then the punishment does seem to be very exteme. I agree totally that it's stupid to remove your means of generating an income, especially since you are paying your support. I will say that the DCSE is a pain in the ass to deal with. I receive the support and get nothing but grief from them. I'm willing to bet it's because I'm male. I tried calling them one day to try and solve a problem. As soon as I asked the woman on the phone "if she could help with a problem", she hung up the phone on me. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for people who are responsible for paying support. I also think the system is biased towards women as far as support goes. My ex's payment for 3 kids is about the same as most fathers pay for 1 kid. The money just covers my daycare expenses, so the rest is up to me. I hope that you can work it all out and get your liscense back. |
me too, feeling stranded already and it's been less than a day.  but at least I lost no pay so far. come tuesday, gonna be interesting.Chris |
This is for Va-gunnut too. I didn't think of the "gift" thing when I replied to your "is this the first offence" sorry. this would be my third offence I would suppose. I got nailed in the beginning when I didn't understand the "rules" sent $5600 in checks for support directly to her.(figured I had my dup checks, NP) $5600 gift DCSE said. I had to repay the state for my not sending it to them first SHe got a free and clear $5600 and then got the states money too.that was my first real experience with them. not a pleasent one needless to say.even worse, they didn't take my DL then..... go figure huh? I'm hoping computer glitch, but knowing the state of va. I ain't got my hopes up on it. Chris |
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Yeah, I went through the same kind of thing here. Lesson learned. I had given my ex about a grands worth of support directly to her. She had asked on those times as she said she was in dire need for instant gratification. Didn't think much of it. Then I started getting threatening letters from the DA. Luckily they obviously aren't as quick to avenge here as they seem to be in VA. I received a letter this week from them that my ex had finally given them proof that I had paid. They did threaten to suspend my license but never actually went through with it. It took a long time for my ex to set things right. The entire system is a FUBAR as far as I can tell. The legal system country wide is auto programed to be anti father it seems. It has been a rough go but my daughter and I have remained close and we, especially this last year, have been able to see each other often. After going through the system on this I have found that sadly my position on marriage has altered considerably. It would be a pretty dang cool day in hell before I made that move again. What I own now, such as it is, is for my daughter when I head for the OD Corral and I will never take the chance of another woman legally stealing it from her should another divorce present itself. |
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This does not sound right; I've never known anyone to lose their DL because they were two weeks late. I know someone with two ex wives now and he is always in arrears. I know at least one wife is on welfare and all they ever did to him was take his income tax refund. Most likely a mistake on their part. I also know someone who had the child support set up to be paid directly to the mother (court order) and the father has to be three payments or $5000 in arrears before anything can be done about it.
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If you still have the admin order that set up the child support payments you may want to check it. They ususally include the boilerplate describing when and how you can have your license suspended. IIRC, I think that the account has to be 60 days in arrears before they can suspend the license. If your license is suspended, you should IMMEDIATELY contact DCSE and politely ask them what the problem is. They will probably offer to let you set up a payment plan for any arrearages and drop their suspension order. If they don't, you can bring the arrearages current and petition a J&D court to get a restricted license (assuming you still have a job). Be warned, DCSE can be a pain to deal with (you might already know this), but remember, they treat both payor and payee with about the same level of indifference. If you have an attorney, consult them, if you can't afford one, call the legal aid society where you live (unless they already represent your ex). |
thanks for the help with options too. hope to not need a attorney in the long run. Chris |
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damn man...that sucks bad. things are totally different up here than in texas for sure. my parents got divorced when i was about 3. child support was 80 bucks a week for me and my brother. my dad paid a total of maybe a grand out of 15 years. the rest of the time he never paid anything, when his check would get garnished from his job he would quit and get another job. that only happened twice then i guess the state got tired of going after him. im sure he is behind atleast 50K. im 22 now and my mom has yet to get a dime from the state. she even went as far as writing GWBush when he was governor of texas and got a reply from him saying it would be taken care of. never was but by this time my mom doenst care since she raised us by herself and we are out of the house. im sure it will never come but its no big deal to her. |
well if they cost me my job, I'm moving to taxas.  kiding.damn man, I can't believe someone wouldn't pay the support.( sometimes extenuating circumstances can't be helped) it's tough yeah, but raising a kid isn't cheap either. hope she does finally hear something, that'd be a nice check to have for anyone and it should be paid. the obligation wasn't the kids fault. no fair to take it out on them. no matter how much you may/may not hate your X.Chris |
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You are not going to get any sympathy from this place. These people are like badgers waiting for you to show weakness. Then they attack. I was paying about $300 per month when first divorced. I got a better job and the agency decided to up my payments to 1K per month. Did I mention that my ex decided that I never get to see my daughter? Yeah, about that.... Out of state courts refuse to enforce another state order unless it is for child support. Visitation is another issue altogether. I became unemployed in the computer industry didn't get work for several months. Got fined $5,000 + $3,000 for those 3 months. Colorado has a law that they can fine you 5K if you fall behind. This was after informing them I was out of work. So, try to pay back support while paying 1K per month. I got work for about 8 months or so then was let go in another RIF. Been out now for about 2 years. I am working on my own business but have never really made any money at it. Matter of fact, I have about a 50% loss so far. Got a letter a few months back that I'm now 30K behind. My daughter is 19 now and I have not seen her since she was 1 year old. How nice. This after I made sure DES got all the info on me and I kept them aware of my status. I got unemployment for a few months. But I'm the bad guy here. They should have returned the payment amount to the orginal order and I wouldn't be that behind. I will never get that paid off. I do not want to be paying child support into my 60's. The system is broke. Has been for a long time. BTW, my ex is about 350 pounds and does not work. She didn't need to. She had a paid for house and land and $1000 tax free per month. I'd be fat and stupid and happy if I had a free grand every month. I paid that woman way over a hundred grand since been divorced - not including the 30K right now. I'm the bad guy. I like saying that. |
damn, and with the 12% interest they charge for their arrears, you may very well be paying them off in your 60's too. worse than a loan shark. Chris |
are you kidding me??? it takes two. just be a man anddeal with the consequeces of your actions oh, and be glad your ass isn't paying alimony as well! |
most of us do "deal" with it. but that child doesn't mean a free ride for one side and a raping monitarily for the other because he has a package swinging. IMHO. which is how it works out for the most part. Chris |
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virginia22, Nope. They are going to fix it. I do not nor have I ever owed them that much money. They keep harping about how "It's based on how much you make" and not what it really cost to raise a child. When I was unemployed and unable to be hired in my profession, I made pretty much ZERO. 30% of ZERO = ZERO. Period. If they put me in jail over something like this, that witch will go to jail for stealing my daughter's formulative years from me. I'm still fighting the $5,000 "fine" Colorado imposed on me. I've never even been to Colorado. I can cross it off my list of places to visit now. I'll try to keep a one state buffer zone, if possible. I count the Navaho Nation as a country, so Arizona is okay. I still think I married the devil himself. There is no more evil a person that has walked the face of the earth. All the evil movie villians fear her. Good luck with your plight. Personally, I hope to die before the system gets the money from me. |
its been years and they never seem to do anything. my mom doesnt even care now. we are grown and out of the house so any money she gets she can spend. i dont ask my dad for money now and i dont expect it from him either. alcohol as always been more important to him than his kids or anything else. thats the only thing you can count on him spending his money on. which is fine by me. im 22, just got out of the military and i make more money than he does so i dont expect shit from him. |
Sorry bud but you're right no sympathy. Your daughter has been legally an adult for a year and you still haven't seen her. Some of us fathers actually believe their is no force in heaven or on Earth that would keep us from our child even if it meant living in a third world shithole with no extradition treaty with the US. Tj |
Wow - Jesus! You're back! Are you starting to take people back yet, or are you just letting everybody know that you are a perfect human being? I aspire to be as perfect as you some day. I just wish I were as perfect as some of the people on this board....... <shakes head> I'm not asking for sympathy - maybe just a little understanding. That's too much to expect from this place. I should have known better. Note to self: Lower expectations. |
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I believe it. The amount of child support is based on adding both parents income and getting a ratio that each parent earns. Then they look up the support obligation in a chart for that total income and each parent pays the ratio portion of that support obligation. If she doesn't work or doesn't tell the agency she has a job he pays 100% of that support number and is also obligated to provide insurance, cover doctor bills, and possibly cover day-care. Everyone goes on the myth that all males are shifty flight-risks nutjobs who are just looking to avoid their responsibilities. Everytime I've ever talked to them they've told me they cannot talk to me and to hire an attorney. The agencies are rated by how much money they collect, nothing else. Most of the case workers have too many cases and are unwilling to get to involved in the details of each case. So, I guess the only good thing I can say about them is that the f*cking you receive is not personal. It is merely beuocratic indifference from spending too much of their lives listening to one incedible sob story after another. Oh, support orders almost never never never get lowered, never. It is like a barbed wire dog collar that ratchets tighter, never loosening. They assume if you were able to work at that rate once you are able to do so again and that it is your fault that you will not. The same thing happens if you work an incredible amount of overtime and your yearly salary goes way up. That high year is averaged into two or three other years and your support obligation goes up. Since they don't care and live by the mistaken notion that all males are out to screw their kids by making them live in poverty it becomes easy to develope a callous attitude and try to get you for all your worth while they can. Some boys do actually run or do not pay or do everything they can to make it difficult to collect. So the men who work and pay and work with the system are the easy ones to go after (kinda like the low hanging fruit) that the case workers are able to collect from with very little work which makes their numbers, and their departments numbers, look good. Even though I believe it rationally that they yanked your drivers license for being late, I still cannot get over 'how do they expect you to continue to make your payments" if you cannot get to work. In effect they are making you a criminal (if you continue to drive) or relient on someone else until you get it back. However, whatever you do, do what you have to do to get to work and get your drivers license back. Do not let them force you to get farther behind or allow them to ruin your life. This has got to suck real bad. I guess if I was you I'd save up enough in the bank to always have the next payment ready to go. It won't be easy but it should provide you with a little protection and a lot of peace of mind. Good luck, sometimes when life gives you a turd sandwich, you have to hold your nose and eat it one bite at a time. |
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My dad did the belly-aching about how much I cost when he was paying $200/month (granted, it was like 1990). If I thought I could raise kids for $200 a month, I may want one. That is a deal. He has two younger kids now and their mom (the same one that deducted a $49 pair of shoes from a child support check to me) wouldn't stand for her precious babies to go without anything regardless of the cost. PS- my dad is not a bad guy, he has serious job for the State of VA and has always. The problem is that dad (a young 19 yr old) dated and married mom (a young 17 year old) and did what God programmed them to do and made a baby. Unfortunately, they were not mature enough to realize the gravity of their actions and decisions and didn't follow through. Like so many young couples, they didn't have a good breakup. Lots of bad feelings etc. Mom and dad fought about the money, while the little guy saw his parents hating each other and fighting about it. How much is his feelings worth? I feel bad for the guy that lost his DL. That sucks. I hope it is a mistake on the state's behalf, but too many times I have seen that it isn't. When you have a kid, it is a lifelong commitment. Not a monthly payment. You shouldn't have to have someone telling you how much you owe your kids. They didn't ask to be your kids, you made them and put them in the situation they are in. Suck it up. Pay what you have to. Get a second job. Drive a cheaper car. Shoot Wolf ammo. Use a condom. have a nice day. |
That's called an Italian divorce. |
Amen, brother. My ex has been on my payroll for 12 years now. She still gets more of my take-home than I do. And not much of it gets spent on the kids. |
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ok, finnally got it squared away. it was a computer glitch, not my payment being late. Wooo Hooooo just so the rest of you know after 90 days of non payment they start procedings. credit report, DL, all the way up to a year in jail. CHECK YOUR PAYMENT RECORDS!!!!! there was also a balance that was added to my account for a little over $300 that was not my debt. so make sure you watch your ass too. thanks for the help and sharing of your own personal stories as we round another corner in the maze we call Paying child support. good luck everyone Chris |