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Posted: 4/5/2006 7:56:04 AM EDT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....BUT AT LEAST THAT BITCH KNOWS I AM SMARTER THAN HER

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 9:57:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 10:04:22 AM EDT
ya that is fuckin awsome.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 12:59:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 1:23:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 1:24:16 PM EDT by GryphonX]
I don't think its pretty funny.

My high-school girlfriend would actually pull that shit.

"Why do we have to be physical to show our affection ...?"

WTF?????

It's sooooo true, and its soooooo frustrating ......

Which makes this HILARIOUS!

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 9:08:23 PM EDT
That is too funny.

Thanks
Tony
Link Posted: 4/9/2006 6:16:40 AM EDT
lol... don't play tennis ...lol.......



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Link Posted: 4/9/2006 11:48:18 AM EDT
Top 10 Reasons Why Guns Are Better Than Women....

#10. You can trade an old .44 for a new .22
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a back-up
#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo
#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space
#4. Guns function normally every day of the month
#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN!

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