Posted: 2/13/2008 4:11:26 PM EDT
|
With all the talk of people in wheelchairs and cops as of late, I though i'd share a little story with you all. So I once dated this chick in a wheel chair. I'll call her Amber to protect the innocent. A buddy of mine had a girlfriend with a sister who had her legs fucked up in a car accident. My buddys girlfriend wanted to help her sister(Amber) get out of the house and asked my buddy to talk me into a double date so Amber wouldn't feel like a 3rd wheel(no pun intended) Their dad was a big, tough looking cop type too, and when we showed up to pick up the girls, he gave me "that" look. So we went out to a movie, and to dinner afterwards and as the night progressed, she got drunk. I mean way drunk. My buddy and his GF were really into eachother, so both Amber and I felt kind of awkward being around them. After alittle while, Amber asked me if I wanted to take off and ditch her sister and my buddy because it was getting boring wathcing them make out and what not. She asked me to take her down to the beach, so we went. After sitting in the parking area for awhile making chit-chat, she asked me to actually carry her over to a grassy spot under a tree. I decided to do so as her wheel chair never would have made it. I gently put her down, leaning against the tree and then sat down. She proceeded to start making out with me. At first it was weird because i'd never given it much of a thought, but she really was a good kisser, and wasn't bad looking either. Things proceeded, and with both of us having a fair amount of alcohol in us, one thing led to another and next thing I knew, I was standing up, with her holding onto the lowest branch, me with her legs over my arms just banging away. I gotta admit that it was really weird, and we were lucky that nobody else came down to that beach, but i'll be damned if it wasn't one of the best times i've ever had like that. When I took her home is when things got REALLY weird. As soon as we walked up to the front door with me pushing her in her chair, the door came open and there was her dad. I pushed her inside and he closed the door. We said our goodbys and she wheeled herself towards her bedroom. As I was turning to leave, her father stopped me and asked me to come back to his home office/den room. He had me sit down and then he sat behind his desk. The first thing he asked me was "Have you two been drinking tonight?" I was underaged, she was underaged, but I knew there was no way that he couldn't smell it on us, especially since he was a cop. I knew I had no choice but to reply affirmative. He kind of nods and then asks "Did you take her down to the beach tonight?" At that point alarm bells started going off. I began looking for exits, wondering if I could safely make it to the door before he got his hands on me, trying to see if there were any visible guns in the room, and trying to figure out if I could make it through the plate glass window and out to my car before he could catch me. I stammerd "uh...um....yea." His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward. He looked me directly in the eye and softly asked "Did you have sex with my daughter in the tree down there by the beach?" I think a few veins exploded as my heart began racing so badly that my blood preassure must have been through the roof. I think I was managing about 200 beats per minute at that very second. Sweat started pouring down my face. Time slowed down. All I could do was look into his eyes and see my own untimely death. Left with no other choice, I quietly answered "Yes." All of a sudden a smile as bright as the early morning sunrise spread over his face as he sat back in his chair and began to chuckle. I was shocked.....stunned....frozen in place as he said..... "Thank you for bringing her back, the last guy left her hanging in the tree!" 
|
|
A man is walking on the beach. He comes across a girl in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs, she's crying. He asks her, "What's wrong?" She replies, "I’m 21 years old. I’ve got no arms, no legs and I’ve never been hugged." The man takes pity on her; gives her a hug, and walks off. The next day he’s walking on the beach again and sees her crying once more. Again he asks "what’s wrong?" She replies "I’ve got no arms, no legs and I’ve never been kissed.” Again the man takes pity and kisses her then continues his walk. The next day, he’s walking on the beach and sees her crying for a 3rd time. He asks, "What’s wrong?" She replies "I’ve got no arms, no legs and I’ve never been fucked.” He picks her up and throws her in the water and yells, "Well you’re fucked now!" |
