Posted: 10/12/2006 4:40:03 PM EDT
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Early morning: Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. Next to the asprin, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, and spotless. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he Sses a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then, he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A. M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone Lady, I'm married!" Broken Coffee Table $39.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time PRICELESS !!! |
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Along those lines: Someone at work sent this to me today - I laughed alot! The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3a.m., a bit worse for wear, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up," I cuckooed" another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 Cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told Him "Midnight". He didn't seem concerned at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why he said that, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then it said, "Oh shit.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted." |
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 Awesome thanks ! |