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Page Hometown » Ohio
Posted: 4/13/2003 5:06:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2003 5:08:45 PM EDT by Engineer]
Saturday afternoon, on my travels from the Medina gunshow to Grand River, I decided to, against my better judgement, stop off at an un-named sporting goods store in Middleburg Heights off of Pearl Road. I was looking for a rimfire scope to put on my 10/22. Instead of finding a scope, I found said sporting goods store commando, working the counter and sporting his best pair of Chinese knock-off camo BDU's. For easy reference, let's call him Commando Dick (note unnamed sporting goods store).

I happened to be sporting my AR15.com shirt. Well Commando Dick notices it and asks, "Hey, know anything about ARs?"

"Uhhh, a little." I replied.

"How about M4's and M203s? You know, I got all that stuff in my safe at home. Brought all of that home with me when I was in the Army."

Oh great, I think to myself. I know where this is headed....

"Yeah, got all that full auto stuff. G3's and HK91's, MP5's, M16's. I got more in my vault at home than they got in this store."

Uh huh, sure.... Apparently my lack of interest in Commando Dick's arsenal causes him to move on to the next unsuspecting customer.

"Yeah, my dad and brother are over in Iraq right now..."

"They're in the Army?"

"Not just the Army, they're Special Forces {at this point I'm just trying to contain my laughter}... they went out there two months ago and they're doing some crazy stuff. But you know, they still haven't told me if they've gotten Saddam yet."

At this point, I ask Commando Dick if he has the scope in stock. I'm obviously interrupting I'm-compensating-for-my-small-penis-fantasy-make-believe-story-time and Commando Dick loudly proclaims, "Lemme check, but I doubt it." He begrudingly hauls his lard ass over to the stock room and quickly returns to proclaim, "Nope, like I said, we ain't got any." (Thanks for putting in the effort)

As I'm getting ready to leave, he comments, "Hey, that's a cool shirt, where do I go to get one of those things?" Realizing that Commando Dick obviously dumps all of his disposable income from working the sporting goods counter into his Class III collection (oh wait, I forgot, he brought it all home from the Army...,) I told him they were not available anymore. After all, I wouldn't him burning out his brain cell deciding whether to spend his paycheck on an AR15.com T-shirt or another M16.

If any of you are in there area, feel free to pay him a visit - I haven't laughed that much in quite awhile.

Link Posted: 4/13/2003 5:52:41 PM EDT
Watch what you say - Commando Dick may actually be a member here!

Overall, the quality of retail sales employees has fallen in the past few years. As a matter of fact, I ran into a 17 year old "Master Hunter Dick" at the Highland Heights store a few weeks back.
Link Posted: 4/13/2003 9:33:13 PM EDT
I have dealt with Commando Dick. He is the guy that tried telling me that the bore brush was the same as the chamber brush for my Bushmaster and it was unique to BM only. I have heard alot of good abot that store but my experiences are exactly opposite. BTW I brought home a F-18D from when I was in the Navy.. Come on over and see!! I park it at my uncles house.
Link Posted: 4/14/2003 8:00:48 AM EDT
I confine my purchases at that store to soccer shoes for the kids, golf balls, and cheap bricks of remington thunderbolt. I find it is much easier not to ask the store employees questions at all and not to engage them in time wasting conversation.
Link Posted: 4/14/2003 1:23:50 PM EDT
We might be talking about two different stores. The one I was referring to does not sell golf balls.. Oh well, the list grows.
Link Posted: 4/14/2003 3:42:22 PM EDT
Hey I think I might know a "Commando Dick"?!!! I used to work with him actually. He owned lots of property he inherited from his dead grandmother. He had a new hunting story almost daily about the 18 pointer on the property... With part of the inheritence he was able to buy a Hummer (the vehicle, not the sex act) too. Oh yea and he had all the guns. Well at least as many guns as I had plus one. Oh and the brands and models of guns he had were all better than mine. Oh yea and he was 19 and we were working at Lowes...
Link Posted: 4/15/2003 6:51:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SWS:
Watch what you say - Commando Dick may actually be a member here! quote]

I doubt it. People that high speed rarely know how to use the internet for anything other than talking about conspiracy theories and kiddy porn.
Link Posted: 4/27/2003 11:24:27 AM EDT
You have me confused. you could be talking about a couple different places. I live in middleburg Hts. Haven't met commando dick. I do go to B&T alot
Link Posted: 4/27/2003 5:06:32 PM EDT
I know Commando Dick...LMAO His co-workers must be really bummed out..he doesn't stop. The way he talks I figure that he makes about $78 an hour workin the sporting goods counter at that unnamed sporting goods store in M.H. across the parking lot from Sears.Isnt his brother a SWAT officer ? lol He has to be a lil screwy to talk all that shit at his age (about 35 years old I'd guess).

Any ideas how to tell this dude you think he's full of crap..like mabe say .."dude,it sounds like you're talking alot of crap..how can you afford all those toys on your salary?...why dont you go buy yerself a hooker and mabe you'll not be such a weirdo"
Link Posted: 5/2/2003 6:36:59 PM EDT
This is funny, I used to manage the hunting/fishing/camping department in the "M.H store across the parking lot from Sears". I had just moved back from CA where I managed a real hunting and fishing store for 4+ years. That place is a joke!!! The employees (in my department) were all rejects and the chain cared not one bit for selling hunting/fishing/camping merchandise. All they care about is selling shoes, clothes and golf stuff, that's where the real markups are. I left after about 3 months once I found out that my quarterly bonus was dependent on wether these departments (not mine) made there "quotas".
Link Posted: 5/2/2003 8:13:26 PM EDT
FEAR Not Clevelanders, for as of October 16th you will have to suffer the commando no more for a Galyans is coming to Lyndhurst. Yes just a short trip to the corner of Richmond and Cedar and all your commando worries shall fade in the blinding light of upscale gunshop heaven. Just a short jaunt from beachwood place and located within two miles of Shaker Heights it now slowly rises into the sky as my wallet warms up for the grand opening.
Link Posted: 5/3/2003 8:34:43 PM EDT
October 16th is far away....can someone send out the signal for the Mall Ninja to save us from Commando Dick ?
Link Posted: 5/6/2003 12:29:33 PM EDT
I was there the this past weekend...he ordered a couple (at least 2) MP5's....He gets all his play money from building guns LMFAO and there's even companys in Shotgun News who owe him money for guns he built for them.
Link Posted: 5/6/2003 8:19:07 PM EDT
LOL, good sales pitch. I am going to have to go buy stuff just to hear this buffoon! Hopefully, he'll be getting his 45 remote control mini-guns for Bulletfest soon.
Link Posted: 5/6/2003 8:22:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SWS:
Watch what you say - Commando Dick may actually be a member here!

Overall, the quality of retail sales employees has fallen in the past few years. As a matter of fact, I ran into a 17 year old "Master Hunter Dick" at the Highland Heights store a few weeks back.



The highland heights store is a whopper! My friend asked the guy if they could order mini-14's and the guy was like "mini wha?." lol. Who hires these guys?
Link Posted: 5/6/2003 9:42:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BustinCaps:
Hopefully, he'll be getting his 45 remote control mini-guns for Bulletfest soon.



Well, he did ask me if I knew anything about "some shoot-Fest thing" - so who knows, he might be there ... ... Maybe Campy will let me RO his section of the line.
Link Posted: 5/6/2003 9:44:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By shotar:
FEAR Not Clevelanders, for as of October 16th you will have to suffer the commando no more for a Galyans is coming to Lyndhurst. Yes just a short trip to the corner of Richmond and Cedar and all your commando worries shall fade in the blinding light of upscale gunshop heaven. Just a short jaunt from beachwood place and located within two miles of Shaker Heights it now slowly rises into the sky as my wallet warms up for the grand opening.



If it were MY wallet I would keep it closed.Galyans does not offer "special deals" on firearms or ammunition.At least thats what their flyer said.
Link Posted: 5/7/2003 3:36:26 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/7/2003 3:37:08 PM EDT by joeblack]
S T F U
I will never sell to you guys again.
;-)
Link Posted: 5/7/2003 5:12:00 PM EDT
Er um, being from france I'm not sure any of us would ever buy from you again.
Link Posted: 5/7/2003 5:19:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By joeblack:
S T F U
I will never sell to you guys again.
;-)



Son, you never sold me anything in the first place - what makes you think I'll be back?
Link Posted: 5/7/2003 6:51:11 PM EDT
hey engineer, clean out your IM box, we've been trying to get ahold of you. some of us are meeting at stonewall tomorrow about 6:00PM, burgers and beer after!!!let me know...
Link Posted: 5/7/2003 7:36:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mmsig229:
hey engineer, clean out your IM box, we've been trying to get ahold of you. some of us are meeting at stonewall tomorrow about 6:00PM, burgers and beer after!!!let me know...



IM box cleaned out ...
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