Posted: 12/11/2006 2:20:14 PM EDT
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I had a hard call the other day. I was dispatched to an unconscious 2 week old baby. Dispatch was giving CPR instructions over the phone and I got there the same time FD did, to which they immediately started CPR. The baby was blue and not responsive. They worked on her in the back of the bus for a while, but she had didn't have a chance. Dad had fallen asleep with her in his arms on the couch after giving her her morning bottle. He held her until she fell asleep and then he too fell asleep. At some point, the baby slid out of his arms in and between his forearm and the back cushion of the couch, causing the baby to suffocate. Dad woke up and found her lifeless. This especially struck me b/c I also have a 2 week old at the house and feel SO bad for the parents. Anyway, just thought I'd share. |
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Thats rough, especially when you have one of your own at home. You may want to see if you can attend a CISD meeting or see a counsiler. As FF/EMT/LEO's we often have that mocho tuff guy attude, but its important to get some of this crap off your chest and talk about it. If you keep it all bottled up it will tear you up. Remember, it wasnt your fault that this happened. You did everything in your power to save the life of that child, but sometimes God decides to take a life and it is completely out of our hands. |
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Been there brother. If you feel anything that is detrimental to you please talk to someone. My department is really progressive with peer counselors (other firefighters and Paramedics) and on staff Doctors that are CISM professionals. It helped me. I almost couldnt do the job after mine. IM me if you need to talk. |
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I feel your pain bro. Bar none, worst call I've ever had happened about 3 months ago. I've had dead baby calls in the past and none have been easy, but for some reason this one did, and continues to, stick with me. The initial dispatch was a non-descript medical aid call in which my dispatcher told me that she was on the line with a hysterical female who stated that someone was not breathing--just like probably a hundred other medical aid calls I have heard. I rolled to the scene C3 thinking that it was probably going to be yet another 90 yo with a DNR found dead by a daughter or grandaughter, and managed to beat medical by a few seconds. Upon entering the apartment, I was met with a SCREAMING INSANE 17 yo girl telling me that her baby was dead, and a blue colored 3 month old baby lying on the floor, just inside the doorway. Immediately, I shit my pants and think "Why the fuck didn't dispatch tell me it was a BABY!!!!" After clearing an airway, I found no respiration but a very faint pulse. The baby was warm as I started CPR, and when Fire arrived, they continued giving compressions as they loaded him into the bus. I then had the unique pleasure of trying to ascertain exactly what had happened from the now completely insane Mother as she stared at the tiny LPA lying on the floor in the living room. The baby was pronounced e/r to the hospital, and the death was determined to be SIDS. Mom had apparently found baby face down and not breathing after laying him down for a nap. As my shift that day wore on, I couldn't shake the pit in my stomach. I drove home that night wondering if I could have driven faster to the scene, taken a different route, ran faster to the door, etc. and if any of it would have made a difference--remembering from my training that "A SIDS baby is a dead baby" and likely nothing I did would have made a difference. I don't know how you handled it, but I usually don't share the shit from work with my wife, so I just told her to take me out to a nice dinner and not ask questions. I will probably never forget that baby's name, and the warm clammy feeling of his skin as long as I live. Lincoln16 |