Posted: 6/7/2010 4:04:41 PM EDT
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I'm a reserve officer and my primary occupation is a NFA Firearms manufacturer. I own a Firearms, Tactical supply and Duty gear shop in the jurisdiction of the potential new girlfriend. I have many friends, including two part timers who are full time in her department. We sell duty gear to her department and I am the SWAT Teams de Facto armorer. She is an ACO. I'm a reserve officer in a completely different jurisdiction.
So you guys got any advice? Good idea or bad idea? No I am not gonna post pics of her. She is a brother of the shield and I would not do that to her. Edited to clean up some errors |
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Being that you have a better understanding of what the job requires than the average person, go for it. It is easier to be in a relationship with someone that can relate to the shit one goes through day in and day out. The shift hours and any part time jobs that she may have will have an impact on things. Relationships are a give and take. A very fine balancing act. Being that you don't work together is a plus IMHO. Common ground will help a lot.
Just like all officers, there are going to be good days and bad. Make sure you talk about everything so nothing builds up. I learned that the hard way. I am now married to a wonderful woman (non-leo) that I can tell everything to. She "gets" me and loves me anyway. Good luck. You never know until you try. |
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I'm a reserve officer and my primary occupation is a NFA Firearms manufacturer. I own a Firearms, Tactical supply and Duty gear shop in the jurisdiction of the potential new girlfriend. I have many friends, including two part timers who are full time in her department. We sell duty gear to her department and I am the SWAT Teams de Facto armorer. She is an ACO. I'm a reserve officer in a completely different jurisdiction. So you guys got any advice? Good idea or bad idea? No I am not gonna post pics of her. She is a brother of the shield and I would not do that to her. Edited to clean up some errors Geez, can I take you out for a date!? |
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Most female cops are gay, crazy, sluts, or a combination thereof. Hope you got the one exception! Good Luck  HEY! I rese.........you know the rest. I'd say go for it. Probably certainly can't be any worse than 'normal. Afraid I can't offer any pros or cons. When I was a USN provost marshal, I dated off and on, one or two. To tell the truth, I never knew what they really did, aside from something government administrative, never dated them intensively to get serious, and if anything, it wasn't that I was a cop but that I was Navy that was mysterious to them. There was one other possible who was in construction and could not understand of why, in America, I had to report who I was with to a superior security agency. And as far as dating someone in the Navy? Well, that superior security agency is the thing. Unless one is in the world of intelligence, then they really don't understand what it means to be in it, even if they are in the same military service. And when I wasn't in police? When I was on ships, I was far too busy to even think about it. Go for it. _______________________________________________ ("All I can say is if great grandmother came all the way from the other side to warn us about the butcher, she should marry the tailor. It's all for the best................couldn't possibly be any worse!"––Golde after being told Tevye's "dream", (w,stte), "Fiddler on the Roof") |
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Most female cops are gay, crazy, sluts, or a combination thereof. Hope you got the one exception! Good Luck This. Sounds like military women. There's a reason I always steer clear of females in uniform. When there's a better chance of catching the clap on base rather than out in town, there's a problem. |
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Don't know the girl so if you think that it is the right thing to do, go for it.
90% of the women in LE are in it for the wrong reason. Generally LE women fall into one of these categories: 1. Sense of empowerment because of some type of victimization. 2. Overwhhelming desire to prove equality to men. 3. Obsessed with getting attention from men. 4. Lesbian. Hopefully it works out for you. |
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Maybe kind of cheesy but look up a book called In love with a Cop can't remember who the author is but Amazon should have it. I got it for my wife when we were having a real rough patch a couple of years into my carrer. She advised that it helped alot to understand "Cop culture" and what being a cop does to people over time. We celebrate our 11th anniversary in a couple of weeks so it must have helped abit.
I realized that you and her are not together yet but it might give you some insight into what we are getting into. Us cops are a unique breed and no matter what anyone tells you, the job changes you dramatically over time. Hope this helps J- |
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Don't know the girl so if you think that it is the right thing to do, go for it. 90% of the women in LE are in it for the wrong reason. Generally LE women fall into one of these categories: 1. Sense of empowerment because of some type of victimization. 2. Overwhhelming desire to prove equality to men. 3. Obsessed with getting attention from men. 4. Lesbian. Hopefully it works out for you. The 2 I highlighted are the biggest that I have seen, although I know a couple in the #4 category. In my own personal opinion, 98-99% of the women in LE are batshit crazy or complete man-sauce receptacles... If you do go through with it, don't get too attached until you know for certain who she is. I have personally been through that, and if it goes sour and she's not working with a full house, you're in for a literal rodeo. |
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lets look at the pros and cons........................
pro-she "gets" you.... con- she gets pissed, talks shit to her guy friends on the dept, they feel like they have to protect her and cancel the orders from your store, you go broke, loose your store, house and all means of survival..... pro- she is good in bed con- it took the whole rest of the dept hitting it, then talking about you cause you are trying to date it! pro- you live happily ever after con- you wind up divorced (as ALL cops are likely to do anyway) pro- she shares interests with you and you have fun together con- she expects you to consider her just as bad ass as a man all the time pro- you don't have to open doors for her con- she is using you as a front for her lesbian relationship pro- she advances in her rank into admin and has the power to recomend supplies to be purchased con- she can no longer buy from you at all for ANY city purchase pro- you work too much anyway and need to go full time as LEO con- jobs are in damn short supply right now :( pro- nope......thats it. lol For get that chick and date an RN!! They make bank, are kinda smart, understand shift work, see more fucked up stuff than you do, and can have the same interests you do if you look hard enough!!!! |
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All the women cop bashing is rather distressing, whatever it's basis.
This, however, Quoted:.........con- she gets pissed, talks shit to her guy friends on the dept, they feel like they have to protect her and cancel the orders from your store, you go broke, loose your store, house and all means of survival.....
points out an interesting observation though from another view point: Conflict of Interest. Will dating her put you or her department in any way a state of conflict of interest? It may be political, it may be unreasonable, but it is often how the world works and you should consider that up front. ___________________________________________________ ("He was a member of the Communist Party for one week. He did it to impress his girlfriend at the time."––Pvt. Benjamin about her boy toy "Well, we aren't totally unreasonable, but you have to make a choice. Either leave him or leave the army."––BG Foley, (w,stte), "Private Benjamin") |
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To piggyback a little on Snowleopard's point, it's a little disappointing to see so many of us painting with the same broad brush that we accuse the basher's in GD of using.
So I guess I'll adopt another GD tactic to drive the point home. Bashing cops? What were you arrested for? Bashing female cops? Which one dumped you? I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with being judgmental, but how about we judge individuals based on their individual actions/characters rather than making up statistics (90% of female LEOs this, or 98-99% of female LEOs that). Can we leave the bashing to the pros in GD? |
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Fine, you don't want statistics, out they are. But I will give you a quote that one of my most respected Lieutenants told me a while back. "The badge will get you pussy, the pussy will get your badge." He also told me this - "Don't shit where you eat and don't wipe your ass with the hand that feeds you."
Don't mix work and pleasure. I work on a pretty good sized department, well over 500 officers, and I don't know of too many straight women on this department that aren't holster sniffers, badge bunnies, hose chasers, fire bugs, etc etc etc. It's almost embarassing to me when I run into an officer that I hadn't seen in a few months and I don't know their last name has changed, yet again, or find out they're pregnant, again (usually by diff people). I also prefer not to go with hospital food either (nurses, female doctors, lab techs, etc), because again, they are around cops, firefighters, and paramedics pretty much all day at work and the same applies as to their social preferences. Now that I've said all that, let me also say this. I have never seen a profession such as this that has so many unfaithful people in it. I know way too many officers, both male and female, that gladly cheat on their spouses and S/O's as much as humanly possible. If you're that unhappy with your spouse or S/O, LEAVE them, don't sit there and cheat on them and then lie about it when they ask. Show some friggin integrity instead of smacking the rest of the profession in the face. |
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I'm a reserve officer and my primary occupation is a NFA Firearms manufacturer. I own a Firearms, Tactical supply and Duty gear shop in the jurisdiction of the potential new girlfriend. I have many friends, including two part timers who are full time in her department. We sell duty gear to her department and I am the SWAT Teams de Facto armorer. She is an ACO. I'm a reserve officer in a completely different jurisdiction. So you guys got any advice? Good idea or bad idea? No I am not gonna post pics of her. She is a brother of the shield and I would not do that to her. Edited to clean up some errors Geez, can I take you out for a date!? Really. And if he doesn't work out, what about me? I mean, I know he's got BJ right there in his name, but I got Scotch! |
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I'm a reserve officer and my primary occupation is a NFA Firearms manufacturer. I own a Firearms, Tactical supply and Duty gear shop in the jurisdiction of the potential new girlfriend. I have many friends, including two part timers who are full time in her department. We sell duty gear to her department and I am the SWAT Teams de Facto armorer. She is an ACO. I'm a reserve officer in a completely different jurisdiction. So you guys got any advice? Good idea or bad idea? No I am not gonna post pics of her. She is a brother of the shield and I would not do that to her. Edited to clean up some errors Geez, can I take you out for a date!? Really. And if he doesn't work out, what about me? I mean, I know he's got BJ right there in his name, but I got Scotch! 
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All the women cop bashing is rather distressing, whatever it's basis. This, however, Quoted:.........con- she gets pissed, talks shit to her guy friends on the dept, they feel like they have to protect her and cancel the orders from your store, you go broke, loose your store, house and all means of survival.....
points out an interesting observation though from another view point: Conflict of Interest. Will dating her put you or her department in any way a state of conflict of interest? It may be political, it may be unreasonable, but it is often how the world works and you should consider that up front. ___________________________________________________ ("He was a member of the Communist Party for one week. He did it to impress his girlfriend at the time."––Pvt. Benjamin about her boy toy "Well, we aren't totally unreasonable, but you have to make a choice. Either leave him or leave the army."––BG Foley, (w,stte), "Private Benjamin") Don't think so. Oneof my best friends and a part timer at my store is an LT in her Dept. In addition, another officer in the same Dept. is a part timer. She is an ACO and not affiliated in any way with purchasing. |
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To piggyback a little on Snowleopard's point, it's a little disappointing to see so many of us painting with the same broad brush that we accuse the basher's in GD of using. So I guess I'll adopt another GD tactic to drive the point home. Bashing cops? What were you arrested for? Bashing female cops? Which one dumped you? I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with being judgmental, but how about we judge individuals based on their individual actions/characters rather than making up statistics (90% of female LEOs this, or 98-99% of female LEOs that). Can we leave the bashing to the pros in GD? Pretty damn funny 
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1. Sense of empowerment because of some type of victimization bullying, last picked for teeball, tiny guy (?). 2. Overwhhelming desire to prove equality to men other people in general (?) 3. Obsessed with getting attention from men women (?). 4. Lesbian. I agree that a lot of those traits apply to some of the female cops I work with, but then again, a lot apply to the men too... |
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Don't know the girl so if you think that it is the right thing to do, go for it. 90% of the women in LE are in it for the wrong reason. Generally LE women fall into one of these categories: 1. Sense of empowerment because of some type of victimization. 2. Overwhhelming desire to prove equality to men. 3. Obsessed with getting attention from men. 4. Lesbian. Hopefully it works out for you. Similar but a little different in Firefighting. Most women in Fire are: 1.) Lesbians. Major men issues. Repeat: Major Men Issues. 2.) Badge bunny's who want to "marry" a firefighter or just destroy a marriage or two. 3.) Interested in being a firefighter. (about 10%, you know who you are. the rest of you, see above). |
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I work with a few women who are really good to go. I'd work with them any time. On the other hand, I've met a few who are completely worthless.
The problem women have is that lets say you have 100 men on a department and 2 women. If one guy screws up and does something stupid, that's one percent of the guys. Lets say that 1 of the women does something stupid and screws up.....that's 50% of the women on the department. So, good female cops have a hard time and sometimes get a bad and unfair rap SIMPLY because they are the minority. Having said all that, yes women CAN be bad at being department whores...but then so are some guys sometimes. The women just stand out more. As far as the OP's question, I would be hesitant but wouldn't rule it out. And, I married a nurse so that's good advise!!! |
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And, I married a nurse so that's good advise!!! From what I've heard, nurse/cop is the best relationship combo ––- just need to find a nurse... Nurses usually make good money, understand your hours and the bullshit, and many are pretty hot....some aren't though so watch it!! Hang out in your local ER!! Or, get one of your cop buddies who is married to a nurse set you up with one of her friends!! |
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Don't know the girl so if you think that it is the right thing to do, go for it. 90% of the women in LE are in it for the wrong reason. Generally LE women fall into one of these categories: 1. Sense of empowerment because of some type of victimization. 2. Overwhhelming desire to prove equality to men. 3. Obsessed with getting attention from men. 4. Lesbian. Hopefully it works out for you. What about the other 10% there Mr. Don't think women should be cops? I think you and those that agree and post the lesbian comments are full of crap and have some type of insecurity issues. Yes, I have known lesbian cops. I know female cops that are better than any male I have worked with. None of the females in my department are gay, victims, sluts, or have an overwhelming desire to prove equality. They want to serve, do the job and be treated fairly. Welcome to the 21st century. Try to keep your knuckles off the ground and don't expect to get promoted. BTW...some of my females could probably kick your asses. I don't want to fight them. 
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