Posted: 8/25/2009 9:37:50 AM EDT
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Ladies I need your thoughts.... Just speak your mind ask questions I want to hear your point on view…
I have been in a relationship with a alpha woman for two years now that started out showing me nothing but her soft side. When we first met I was giving her guitar lessons and we quickly fell in love. Like crazy, this is real true love that happens once in a life time. HOWEVER... And there always is... She was in the process of breaking up with her live in BF and It took several months for him to move out. Now I tried to do the right thing and said take care of your business and I'll be here waiting for you once you do. BUT after a week or so apart we just couldn’t stand it anymore and the relationship continued. She said that she and her live in EX-BF never talked to each other he slept on the couch and he would be moving out in a month. Well that month turned into 4 months and wow was it hard. Bad way to start a relationship yes I know. So eventually he moves, that drama is overt and I buy a house and we move into together. This is when the real drama started. She went to see a therapist to work on some of her issues as she has had a very trouble life. Then she tells me that she and her X where going to go to the sessions together to work out issues and have closure. Now that is obviously is a healthy thing under normal circumstance and I don't have time to go into all the details. I felt that I was sharing her for about 5 months and later found out that she would come over and make love to me then go home and sleep naked in the same bed with her "live in X" I was besides myself with grief and anger so I'll be damned if she is going to spend a few more weeks in counseling. Eventually that blows over and another issue comes up where she is overly touchy with a mutual male friend of ours and I'm like WTF... If I acted like that every time I was around a woman she would be totally enraged!!! Well a year later she finally admits after a completely unnecessary amount of fighting that she was in the wrong and will now try and start looking a things from a different point of view. Any way lets just say that I have see a totally different person than I thought I was getting involved with and there has been a lot of pain because of a multitude of inappropriate situations. Things generally calm down ( she is a fighter) and we get back to a healthy relationship. But over the weekend she wanted me to go hang out with a old GF of hers that she had sex with. I said there has been way to much weird stuff happen with us in the sexual, intimacy, appropriate department and I just wouldn’t fell comfortable. I say go ahead and go I just don't want to at the point. She flys off the handle we fight and so on, but it's starting to feel like we are both ready to throw in the towel. I'm pretty damaged from my previous relationship, but I don't think I've been unfair with asking her to be respectful to our relationship in regards of behaviors and she says she feels trapped now and that I’m jealous and possessive... This is not turning out to be the type of relationship We wanted, and I'm just at a loss now... 
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Has the eject picture ever been used in the women shooters forum?
Dude. Eject. Now. Sorry, I'm not a "throw in the towel" kind of girl, but this relationship has crazy written in red lipstick all over it. She's got more issues than even she can handle. An "EX" that she can't let go of, needing "counseling for relationship closure with an ex?" And then wanting the Ex to accompany her to said counseling? sleeping naked in the same bed with the "ex"... And sex with a girlfriend? Yikes. I've heard less drama on a soap opera. Next you'll tell me the Salem Strangler is back in town and she's on the top of his hit-list. Run, Forrest, Run! |
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if not, then either your ejection seat is welded to the chassis or you are a complete moron No.... your right I'm a complete moron... I saw the warning sighns but didn't eject. I was in a dark place after losing my family of 10 years,(BUT I got to keep my child) and I was just blind!! 
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I'm sorry, I got to the point where right after you say you are both madly in love, but she has to break up with her live in BF. WTF are you thinking? Put aside the fact that, yes, maybe she is not happy with him, but she can't be LIVING with him and loving you the way you want/think. I will go back and read the rest, but I have a feeling any additional things I see will not change my first assumption. ETA - I reread your post. You say that she was different in the beginning? Try not lying to yourself and us and we will be able help you better. She lived and slept with her BF. You were not her boyfriend and have not been at any point. Live and learn; treat others the way you want to be treated. If you don't see the same consideration from her tell her to go. |
| I think the other ladies have it pretty much covered, but I just wanted to point out one thing. What you are describing is not an alpha female (or "alpha male woman"). An alpha female is strong, assertive, and not afraid to stand up for herself, she is not a controlling, manipulative, cheater. |
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So.... any further questions about what you need to do at this point, or are you going to get your ass out of the sling? I know what needs to be done. There are kids involved in this so I (we) need to do it right. What kids? Your's together? or her's? If they're her kids, fuck her. She can handle that shit on her own, just like she handled the "break up with her BF" |
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It's hard to let go. But be strong. You're gonna be OK. There is someone out there for you who will love you.
This gal felt like the real thing at the time and under the circumstances. It felt so completely right. But now you know differently. Let her go. Be strong. Just think, if she's already getting therapy, she can talk to her therapist about your break up too. Perfect timing.  You sound like a fine person. I know it's probably gonna feel like your heart
has been ripped out, but I promise you that you'll feel better once you finally move on. I'm praying for you. |
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and later found out that she would come over and make love to me then go home and sleep naked in the same bed with her "live in X" I was besides myself with grief and anger so I'll be damned if she is going to spend a few more weeks in counseling.
Eventually that blows over and another issue comes up where she is overly touchy with a mutual male friend of ours and I'm like WTF... If I acted like that every time I was around a woman she would be totally enraged!!! You know, there is a time and place where this might actually be acceptable, and I've been in more than one relationship where a woman and I had an agreement to keep this kind of thing "out of sight, out of mind" or even enjoyed the thought of what just happened outside while she is grinning at me from under another guy's arm at the party. However, and like you said there is always a "however" in there, you can't do it when you are "madly in love" and want to have a life with the person. In your case her behavior is horribly disrespectful to you and any relationship you may actually have with her. Regardless, you can't get what you need from her and you're way past the point of being able to be friends with benefits. Get out. She is using you and your assets and you are getting nothing in return. Her vagina is not a precious jewel and does not count as compensation, as half the human population has one to offer, so drop her like a hot potato and go get yourself something sweet. Stop being "that guy". |
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It is pretty obvious the only reason anyone ever starts these threads is because they want moral support for whatever F*ed up relationship they are in.
Everyone else can be polite and tell him it's not his fault/he's stronger than that/he can do better/etc etc.... all you want, I prefer to be honest and direct. And besides, the world needs chumps too. |
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It is pretty obvious the only reason anyone ever starts these threads is because they want moral support for whatever F*ed up relationship they are in. Everyone else can be polite and tell him it's not his fault/he's stronger than that/he can do better/etc etc.... all you want, I prefer to be honest and direct. And besides, the world needs chumps too. Nothing55 said:I know what needs to be done. There are kids involved in this so I (we) need to do it right. Don't rag on his ass. He asked for help, TheAmazingCarl.......if he didn't need help,I am sure he wouldn't have bothered to ask here. he wanted a females point of view. Unless...... apparently he has a conscience which is sadly lacking in today's society. Kids involved... Are they yours or hers? If they are yours, I would go to the legal point of custody. Depending on if she is a woman that could actually take care of the kid in this situation. You do know its a 24/7 job taking custody. I am sure you are well aware of that from a previous relationship. If they are hers from a previous relationship: Is she a fit mother? I know in some relationships, the other person can form a close bond to a child that is not theirs biologically. But they feel it is the same as if your own. You may feel that this kid does need some help and is not getting what it needs from her? It can get quite complicated. If the child is hers, maybe you can "mentor" them. Give them some guidance in life, if that makes sense. I have saw that done too in a few situations. Maybe I am wrong..don't know if this thread is sincere....I am new here......but thought I would give my opinion to whoever might read this in the future who might find themselves in that type situation. Anyways...my 2 cents worth. |