Posted: 6/1/2007 10:26:35 AM EDT
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I'm not a woman, but I do have some experience with this. I had a girlfriend about 20-odd years ago. We had a great time, eventually broke up, but I thought we could get back together. She said no, of course. So I went to a hill out in the woods and burned everything I had from her -- pictures, letters, etc. It helped a bit, mainly because I couldn't wistfully look at her picture anymore. It probably would have helped me alot more if I hadn't been doing it solely because I was angry. And yes, I do regret it a little today. Some of those pictures included other friends and I wish I had them back, plus my diary which I burned at the time included other experiences of that summer. I ended up destroying some valuable personal history in the process. So I would suggest that it might be better to seal up the box with duct tape and put it in some dusty closet or storage unit, where you can find it some ten years from now and are able to appreciate it for what it was. After the bad memories have faded. |
BURN IT and move ON with your life....... Life is too short as it is, you will find someone else. 
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i agree with what patty said. keep a few things so you remember where you came from. torch the rest. |
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From a guy's perspective and a personal momento type collector etc etc. I would keep your momentos, and years from now, you will take it out and get a big laugh about all of this. I know is probably painful at the moment, but things in life do work itself out for the better. Edited to Add(ETA): I gather that you are around your late teens or early 20s, this is not the end of the world, and just part of life. |
I agree with Patty!! (She super smart!) I kept a few small things from my last relationship, it lasted almost 2 years. He was my best friend and it really really sucked when it ended. I really know how you feel. I have a rock we found at the beach together, a picture of us together at a formal function, and a watch he gave me for my birthday. Other than the watch (it's a great watch, that I love), I put everything away in a trunk and have it there. We are friends today, and well those are the small things that remind me of the best of times. As for my dairy, well that's mine, and it shows other events in my life other than him, so I kept it and still use it today. (Some other more girly advice, get the book, It's called a Breakup cause it's Broken by Greg Bahrendt. It will help you out) |
I saved every letter from every relationship. Not much else. Not that I go looking for them, but they are there stashed away in the trunk if I was ever so inclined. Its a major chapter in your life, I would keep the stuff if you are able to do so. |
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Since you are questioning what you should do, maybe you should listen to your innards that seem to be saying that you aren't quite ready to let go. Box up everything and give it to a friend or someone in your family to store for you until you know what to do without wondering what you should do. You will either get to the point where you can discard everything and smile, or maybe you will want to keep it after all. Not having it around will help you move on, but having it somewhere out of reach but safe will give you some peace of mind. Time is never wasted. If you have learned something from that relationship and had some happy times along the way, how could that possibly have been a waste? |
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I shoved my box of stuff under the bed and intentionally forgot about it for months. When I started dating my (current) boyfriend, I dug the box out and chucked it. I didn't even open it. Don't throw it away until you're ready to fully commit to the next guy in your life. But DO keep it out of sight. When I threw out that box, it was the final step in achieving closure. I don't regret throwing it away at all. |
The most important thing you can do is learn from what you did. Whether you keep your treasures or not you gave up your life for someone else. In a healthy relationship [or so I've read  ] you do not have to give yourself up to be loved. Be true to who you are. A good book recommended to me by Sigziggy was called Boundaries. People who love naturally naturally respect others boundaries and they do not cross that line.Patty |
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You will know when you are ready to part with the keepsakes. Give it time. As for your comment about being so dedicated to him for 3 years that you don't have any other friends. I found myself in that same spot when I divorced. It's never to late to get out there and make new friends or rekindle old friendships. You'll be glad you did! 
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You'll always have some bad feelings. But you'll be able to see all the good stuff too after a while. And you'll be glad you kept it. I guarantee it.
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