[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Dinner Pic rules (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 12/30/2009 7:34:30 AM EDT
| What is required to make my first dinner pic a 10/10? |
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Good food. Guns. That's my list. It won't keep you from getting docked by some metrosexuals that believe in Feng-Shui and want a napkin, shit placed just so, and other retarded crap they come up with just so they can appear smug and deduct points. I think people like that should be banned from Arfcom and go to MyGayFrenchBoyfriend.com instead. |
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Quoted: Oh, I forgot... No fucking gay ass square plates.... What is it with Arfcom and square plates anyways? THIS. Square plates = 0/10 for me  My criteria: Good food Handgun + reload Long gun + reload Knife Beverage (alcohol is a must for perfect score) Automatic 10's: You kill it Woman makes it (requires pic) Automatic 0's: Square plate Tofu or any meat substitute Take-out Stapler or measuring device  Bonus Points: Bacon Cool guns like Garands or Nagants Pics of GF/Wife Prep pics etc... |
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Quoted:
Good food. Guns. That's my list. It won't keep you from getting docked by some metrosexuals that believe in Feng-Shui and want a napkin, shit placed just so, and other retarded crap they come up with just so they can appear smug and deduct points. I think people like that should be banned from Arfcom and go to MyGayFrenchBoyfriend.com instead. Haha. |
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Quoted: This...and this...pretty much cover the Gospel According to Dinner PicsQuoted: Oh, I forgot... No fucking gay ass square plates.... What is it with Arfcom and square plates anyways? THIS. Square plates = 0/10 for me My criteria: Good food Handgun + reload Long gun + reload Knife Beverage (alcohol is a must for perfect score) Automatic 10's: You kill it Woman makes it (requires pic) Automatic 0's: Square plate Tofu or any meat substitute Take-out Stapler or measuring device Bonus Points: Bacon Cool guns like Garands or Nagants Pics of GF/Wife Prep pics etc... Quoted: Good food. Guns. That's my list. It won't keep you from getting docked by some metrosexuals that believe in Feng-Shui and want a napkin, shit placed just so, and other retarded crap they come up with just so they can appear smug and deduct points. I think people like that should be banned from Arfcom and go to MyGayFrenchBoyfriend.com instead. |
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Feet in pic is undesireable. Napkins? That's just the kind of faggotry that's killing dinner pics... Exactly. Napkins? Only if it's a meal for more than yourself, and even thin....come on. Quoted:
Food and a gun is a good start. Exactly. To me, the meal should be presented in an appealing, firearm filled, natural way. In a top quality pic, I would try to have a good ENTIRE MEAL, with sides and a drink. Shouldn't be posed either, the pic should be as you'd actually eat it. Ideally, the best dinner pics are of a slightly unusual or especially desirable delicious meal, with an unusual or respectable drink, with at least one rife (preferably an AR) with at least one extra mag, and a pistol with at least one extra mag, and a knife. So as far as I'm concerned, the ABSOLUTE requirements for a 10 pic are Good food Good drink Good rifle Good pistol Good knife Reloads for both but that don't mean you're just gonna get a 10 |
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Must have:
A firearm A reload A knife A fork A napkin A beverage And of course, food ARFCOM really likes: A sidearm and reload (this one is almost mandatory) Bacon Stuff you kilt Meat Alcoholic (especially top shelf) beverages Lighting, quality of photograph and presentation of food count. Some award more points for a balanced meal including veggies, some deduct points The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. Nobody wants to see your massive pile of pampers boxes and Busch Light cans. I’m sure you’re proud of it, the civilized world finds it less than appetizing. I’m sick of looking at a plate of beans with a tortilla, a can of cheap light beer, a BB gun and a plastic butter knife in front of a floor strewn with food. It’s fucking pathetic and I can almost smell the urine, shit and nicotine smell from your house through the picture. Anybody remember that poor guy that served his wife like three grains of rice and some over cooked fish or some shit for their anniversary. That’s how NOT to do a dinner pic. |
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Killed and grilled normally nets a solid 10 from most folks ( unless it was the neighbors chihuaha sp? )
The basics are gun(s) and food. Don't go all foo foo with a table setting or clutter the pic with every dime-store firearm trinket you own and you'll be fine. |
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Oh, I forgot... No fucking gay ass square plates.... What is it with Arfcom and square plates anyways? What the fuck do you care what shape my plate is? My wife bought square plates and I like ‘em. Fuck you if you don’t; it’s my food. If it were left to me to buy stuff, we’d be eating off a piece of shit outdoor patio table and paper plates because I’m a knuckledragging Neanderthal with no class. I like having nice stuff (or at least stuff that looks nice), I like my wife’s square plates, and I like having a REAL woman to have sex with and go shooting with. I suspect that anybody who cares more about the shape of a plate than the food on it may live in his mom’s basement and may have never cooked his own meal in his life. |
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The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. By who's authority? 
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What I look for in a dinner pic:
1. DIY –– killing and cleaning it, growing it, or making it from scratch. Swanson broth and the like are strikes in my book. Anyone can open a box or a can. 2. Step-by-step –– your dinner pic may be flawless, but I want to know that you put thought into your meal and got your hands dirty. Provide step-by-step pics and narrative. Refer to #1. 3. Creative cooking –– you can score a 10/10 with a hamburger... provided that you're creative. Pre-made patties on a store-bought bun with iceberg lettuce ain't gonna cut it. Special / superb ingredients, unusual twists, etc. 4. Presentation –– contextual coherence is important for presentation. If you make your world famous hamburger for a dinner pic, then paper plates / napkins, french fries, and beer are acceptable to me. On the other hand, if you cook a dry aged ribeye to absolute perfection and serve asparagus from your garden to the side, don't put it on a paper plate and drink Orange Crush with it. Likewise, if you shot the doves with your 870, put it in the picture instead of your Perazzi. Yeah, the Perazzi might be prettier but there's more to a dinner pic than showing your prettiest gun. 5. Guns, knives, lights, tools –– traditionally part of the ARFCom dinner pic, but don't go overboard. Too much of a good thing is entirely possible. 6. Photography –– I'm no expert when it comes to photography, but I can tell you when a picture is out of focus, too dark, way overexposed, or generally crappy. Take care to not post crappy pics. |
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Quoted: Quoted: The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. By who's authority? Mine. GTF over it. |
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just have fun with it because it doesn't matter what you do as there will be one asshole that will talk shit
ex. Quoted:
Why people snap pics of their food and post it as a topic here is beyond me.  ....Oh, I get it! You're trying to show off your wesson rifle that looks exactly like every other rifle on this board. Very original.http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=976341 |
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The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. By who's authority?
Mine. GTF over it. The first and original glorious dinner pic had both a stapler (NOT an office model) and tape measure due to being photographed during a range outing. That set the precedent. You danged kids have no respect for tradition and history. 
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The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. By who's authority?
Mine. GTF over it. The first and original glorious dinner pic had both a stapler (NOT an office model) and tape measure due to being photographed during a range outing. That set the precedent. You danged kids have no respect for tradition and history.
Staple gun to be exact. Dang kids get off my lawn. |
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The measuring device and stapler were done away with years ago. Nobody cares about that bullshit except people that joined in 2003, crawled in a cave in 2004 and didn’t emerge ‘til now or noobs trying to look like they know what they’re talking about. By who's authority?
Mine. GTF over it. The first and original glorious dinner pic had both a stapler (NOT an office model) and tape measure due to being photographed during a range outing. That set the precedent. You danged kids have no respect for tradition and history.
Staple gun to be exact. Dang kids get off my lawn. ARFCOM discussed it. It was voted on. There was a clear consensus. Staplers and measuring devices now merit deductions in points. |
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Some people around here give out 10s like they were French skating judges. They give 10s for Kraft macaroni and cheese, and ramen, and all kinds of crap.
Personally, I think a 10 should be aspirational, and should be rare. Otherwise, it's like all the kids in kindergarten getting a gold star just for showing up. For me to give a 10: - it has to be something you killed. - it has to be something you (not your wife or mommy) cooked. - it has to be well prepared (not burned, not smothered with ketchup). There should be appropriate side dishes. - the beverage should be appropriate to the meal, for example, red wine with elk tenderloin, Mexican beer with venison fajitas. - it has to be well presented, arranged beautifully on a good plate, with good silverware/tablecloth/etc. - the table must be set properly: plate one inch from the edge of the table, bottom of utensils even with the bottom edge of the plate, 1" from the edge. Knife on the right, blade toward the plate. Spoon (if one is required for the particular meal) to the right of the knife. Fork on the left of the plate. Napkin on the left of the plate. Beverage above the knife tip. - it has to be well photographed, including lighting, composition, and focus. - in other words, it should look like a picture from Gourmet magazine, or an advertisement for a five star restaurant. In addition, there should be at least two guns in the picture: a long gun (shotgun, rifle or carbine) and a handgun. - if you killed the food, the firearm used to kill it should one of the guns in the picture. - the firearms should be fully loaded, although a hunting rifle or shotgun could be displayed with the action open. - the handgun should be positioned for immediate deployment, if zombies were to come through the door during dinner. If you are right-handed, the handgun should be on the right side of the plate, with the handle pointed to the right so that you can pick it up by laying your hand on top of it. - there should be reloads, and both the handgun and rifle reloads should be on the side of the plate, where you would want them if you were going to reload in a hurry. If you are right-handed, a box magazine would go on the left side of the plate, but a revolver speed-loader could be on either the left or right depending on which technique you prefer, and a revolver speed strip would be on the right. There should also be a tactical or field knife, replacing (and in the same position as) the normal dinner knife. Right side of plate, blade facing the plate. If you killed the animal, it should be the knife used to field-dress the animal. Otherwise, it could be either a hunting knife, or a fighting knife. To get to a 10, there should also be appetizing descriptions/recipes of the food and ingtredients, and photos of the preparation process. |
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fail |
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Definitely not a 10/10 but how is that a "fail"?  |
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Quoted: Definitely not a 10/10 but how is that a "fail"? Piss-poor presentation. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Piss-poor presentation.Definitely not a 10/10 but how is that a "fail"? Sorry, I really did work at the presentation too. It wasn't just "thrown together". I guess I need to keep trying. |
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I've done quite a few dinner pics over the past year, and I learn new things each time.
Here are just a few that earned me some of the highest praise: Breakfast pic: (BB gun because I was taking my kids out shooting after breakfast - and it's the one my dad bought me 30+ years ago) 
Italian themed pic: 
Seafood dinner pic: 
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