[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Apostrophe Rant (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:26:36 PM EDT
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The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes.
1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". |
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Quoted:
"ain't" isn't a word. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT USE ANOTHER NON-WORD. FUCK! Main Entry: ain't Pronunciation: \ˈānt Etymology: contraction of are not Date: 1749 1 : am not : are not : is not 2 : have not : has not 3 : do not : does not : did not —used in some varieties of Black English usage Although widely disapproved as nonstandard and more common in the habitual speech of the less educated, ain't in senses 1 and 2 is flourishing in American English. It is used in both speech and writing to catch attention and to gain emphasis <the wackiness of movies, once so deliciously amusing, ain't funny anymore — Richard Schickel> <I am telling you—there ain't going to be any blackmail — R. M. Nixon>. It is used especially in journalistic prose as part of a consistently informal style <the creative process ain't easy — Mike Royko>. This informal ain't is commonly distinguished from habitual ain't by its frequent occurrence in fixed constructions and phrases <well—class it ain't — Cleveland Amory> <for money? say it ain't so, Jimmy! — Andy Rooney> <you ain't seen nothing yet> <that ain't hay> <two out of three ain't bad> <if it ain't broke, don't fix it>. In fiction ain't is used for purposes of characterization; in familiar correspondence it tends to be the mark of a warm personal friendship. It is also used for metrical reasons in popular songs <Ain't She Sweet> <It Ain't Necessarily So>. Our evidence shows British use to be much the same as American |
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". Your grammar nazism is somewhat weak, because a true anal-retentive grammar nazi  would KNOW that the apostrophe CAN be used to indicate plural in a very few instances - such as the plural of lowercase letters. For those not familiar with this exception to the rule, I am talking about expressing like "to mind your p's and q's" or "dot your i's and cross your t's" - in those case, the apostrophe IS used to indicate the plural.
As such, while your claim is generally correct (and I share your frustration), it is not 100% correct. 
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". take a seat tool your rant is weak. |
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". ok's take a seat tool your rant is weak. |
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Quoted: The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb".  You call that a rant? You could probably use some of this:  |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". Your grammar nazism is somewhat weak, because a true anal-retentive grammar nazi would KNOW that the apostrophe CAN be used to indicate plural in a very few instances - such as the plural of lowercase letters. For those not familiar with this exception to the rule, I am talking about expressing like "to mind your p's and q's" or "dot your i's and cross your t's" - in those case, the apostrophe IS used to indicate the plural.
As such, while your claim is generally correct (and I share your frustration), it is not 100% correct.
Add impeccable grammar to the list! 
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". I'm 6' 0" tall.....and you fail. 
Your rant = .5/10. |
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". An apostrophe is also used to form plural digits,numbers and symbols: 4's,q's,*'s to disambiguate that it isn't a spelling error and to pluralize acronyms or abbreviations that include punctuation.Popular usage is now pushing the use of apostrophes to pluralize acronyms in order to show that the s is not a part of said acronym,or the reason the proper plural form is SOS's.However,that is incorrect technically,even if it is fairly widely used and becoming even more so. Complaining about spelling and grammar on Arfcom,or the internet in general, is like complaining that Burger King doesn't use Kobe beef.One should only set the expectations so high.Even though I once taught middle school English,my own spelling and grammar is now just this side of terrible due to being out of practice and away from criticism,not to mention the level of care falling through the floor.I almost cringe when I send txt mssgs raping and pillaging proper speech but language is always changing and that's my excuse 
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I can't help thinking that there is enough stupidity posted here that the misuse of apostrophes should rank rather low on the list of things that deserve a thoroughgoing rant - and yours omitted the most humorous thing that has ever been said on the subject, which is that an apostrophe is not a warning that an "S" is coming. |
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Examples: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". Fixed your spelling for you. If you are going to bitch proof read. If you can't proof read STFU. Seriously though, I look at it this way. When I am talking with my friends I do not use proper english exclusively, it is an informal setting. I use slang. I occassionally mispronounce words etc. If giving a formal presentation, a job interview or sometimes at work, I use proper english (before you get all speech/nazi on me using proper english with convicted felons and drunks at 2 am is generally far less effective than improper english). I view the internet in the same manner. If I am posting in a forum I type. I sometimes misspell words. I traspose letters. I haves tuff like this happen. I do not always use proper punctuation. And periodically, if I ge tin a hurry I use steak instead of stake or some shit like that. I don't proof read. However, if I were say, typing a resume, it would be different. Ultimately, it come's down to the ability to communicate a thoguht. Some research shows that many people only read the first one or two and last one or two letters of a word. Their mind fills in the others. So if you know what they mean and it is an informal session who cares? Seriously, look down your nose all you want but if a mistake in punctuation sets you off so bad get counseling. |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ6vl49r67I
Apostrophe (') I prefer this definition of ('). 
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Quoted: Quoted: http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w233/venemanuarizonaedu/codpieces.jpgQuoted: Your grammar nazism is somewhat weak, because a true anal-retentive grammar nazi The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". would KNOW that the apostrophe CAN be used to indicate plural in a very few instances - such as the plural of lowercase letters. For those not familiar with this exception to the rule, I am talking about expressing like "to mind your p's and q's" or "dot your i's and cross your t's" - in those case, the apostrophe IS used to indicate the plural.As such, while your claim is generally correct (and I share your frustration), it is not 100% correct. Add impeccable grammar to the list! |
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http://finance.senate.gov/press/Bpress/2009press/prb101909.pdf Here's the 1500 page Senate Health Bill. Please note any incorrect uses of apostrophes so we can put down these elected representatives for their minor crimes.
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Quoted:
Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". Your grammar nazism is somewhat weak, because a true anal-retentive grammar nazi would KNOW that the apostrophe CAN be used to indicate plural in a very few instances - such as the plural of lowercase letters. For those not familiar with this exception to the rule, I am talking about expressing like "to mind your p's and q's" or "dot your i's and cross your t's" - in those case, the apostrophe IS used to indicate the plural.
As such, while your claim is generally correct (and I share your frustration), it is not 100% correct.
Uh-OH! Your "p's and q's" example is following his Rule #1. It has dropped letters from it's full "Pints and Quarts". Tee-hee-hee! Hooray for semantics!!
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Quoted:
The apostrophe (') is supposed to be used for two purposes. 1) To show that characters have been dropped. Example: isn't, won't, ain't. Also '80s, '90s... 2) To show possession: Bob's, Jane's, Obama's, etc. YOU DO NOT FUCKING USE MOTHERFUCKING APOSTROPHES TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. I WOULD RATHER PISS IN MY OWN MOUTH THAN READ ANOTHER GRADE SCHOOL DROPOUT BUTCHER ANOTHER PLURAL. FUCK! Example of HOW NOT TO FUCKING USE APOSTROPHES: CD's (compact discs are "CDs"). "tomato's $1/lb". That's not necessarily incorrect... tomato is $1/lb 
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