Posted: 9/6/2009 6:37:42 PM EDT
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Not sure how valid any of these are, but here is the list. Some are pretty funny.
16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.' 15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile.' 14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificat More..e a worthless document.' 13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' 12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' 11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?' 10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?' 9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. 8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?' 7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.' 6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.' 5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' 4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?' 3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.' 2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.' AND THE WINNER IS.... 1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.' |
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Fuck me runnin'. Cop quotes & you leave this out?
I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? Fuck. Just fuck. 
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