[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Members with Spouses (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 5/6/2009 4:34:02 PM EDT
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. 
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What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. Get used to it. Women go through these things. |
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Been married close to 15 years. Wife does what she is good at. like cleaning and cooking. I do all the house stuff and pay for the house and all the bills. She pays for the food and kids necessities.
Works out pretty good. If she's been slipping,you need to find out why. Depressed? |
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Are your duties kept up to date as they have been before, or should be? Absolutely. Grass is cut. Driveway always got plowed/shoveled. Been working on the garden, since it's gotten warmer. Not to mention cleaning up our little one acre from winter. Plus the vehicle maintenance. This in addition to my regular job, and doing side jobs to make ends meet. The only time I am not working in the yard in when it's raining. Then I am inside doing some sort of home improvement project. I can't sit still. 
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Quoted:
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. When you figure women out, write a book and you wil be the richest man on Earth. 
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Quoted:
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. We have several unspoken agreements. 1. I won't bother her in the middle of the week when she is studying for school and in turn we have sex every weekend. (my favorite aggreement I might add) 2. I take care of the yard work and vehicles, she does the inside. 3. I don't complain about her useless spending and she won't bother me about my guns and ammo. Those are the first three off the top of my head. |
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Quoted:
Been married close to 15 years. Wife does what she is good at. like cleaning and cooking. I do all the house stuff and pay for the house and all the bills. She pays for the food and kids necessities. Works out pretty good. If she's been slipping,you need to find out why. Depressed? I think so, a little. She graduated Summa Cum Laude in December, and can't understand why she can't find a job. I think she thought she would be offered something when she graduated. But these are hard times. NO ONE is hiring, I told her. I tell her things will break her way, just be patient. I'm hoping me and the kids can cheer her up on Mother's Day. |
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We both have pretty busy careers, so it tends to get mixed up depending on who is busier. However, it is generally:
Me: Outside stuff and kitchen. I am home at 5pm, whether I am still working or not. She is never home before dark. Her: Inside cleaning, laundry and paying bills. It seems to work pretty good. We do have the occasional blow out, but I think that is fairly normal for married folks. ETA: I do all of the grocery shopping too, since she absolutely sucks at it. 
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Quoted:
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. When a woman's work ethic falls apart, why do you think that is? Do happy, self-confident people just stop doing and caring? Ok, now we understand that there's probably something going on deeper than her just not keeping house right? So, here's where magic happens and you get to appear caring, intelligent and insightful. You get the chance to intervene in her unhappiness before you start a thread that says "out of nowhere, she says she's not in love with me and she's leaving!!". Communicate, communicate, communicate. When you're sick of that, communicate some more. What's bothering her that she's not holding up her end? Is she unhappy with you? With her appearance? Is she bored, is she restless? Is she having hormonal problems? etc. None of this is you excusing her falling down on the job, but it IS your chance to step in and source the cause instead of discovering the symptoms, and working on making it better by her understanding that she's a partner too, and if there's something wrong that manifests itself in her not getting shit done, you'll help her to work it out. Don't ever confuse not understanding women with not wanting to. It's easy to understand their motivation, it's another thing entirely to accept them. That's where most men fail. |
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She works 40 hours and comes home. I work 60 hours plus Guard, plus various Emergency Management things.
I do what I get around to doing, and in return, I don't bitch when she doesn't get around to doing something. Our standing agreement is if something is so bad it pisses me off, I'll just do it. Works for us both. 
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The blonde is responsible for all indoor and yard work. Okay, it's not that big of a deal as we have: a house keeper, lawn crew, gardener, chem botanists (it's FL) and a pool company. But they all do need managing. I'm responsible for the dock, garage, boom room and gym (and my walkin closet, which no one is allowed in!). I'm not a pig, put my cloths in the laundry/dry cleaning...and the garage is macked out, as is the dock/boat and the gym...the bar and the closet get a little 'lived in' but that's my space.
As for attitude...every woman will attempt...you've got to hold the line (and the money )
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| When I got married 24 years ago, I had one rule.....never ask what is in my gun safe or my gun related purchases. I said I would cook, clean, whatever but that is the deal. She accepted and has never questioned anything. We share the workload but I never have to explain the gun stuff. I feel a win here. Looking forward to my 25th Anniversary. |
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Been married close to 15 years. Wife does what she is good at. like cleaning and cooking. I do all the house stuff and pay for the house and all the bills. She pays for the food and kids necessities. Works out pretty good. If she's been slipping,you need to find out why. Depressed? I think so, a little. She graduated Summa Cum Laude in December, and can't understand why she can't find a job. I think she thought she would be offered something when she graduated. But these are hard times. NO ONE is hiring, I told her. I tell her things will break her way, just be patient. I'm hoping me and the kids can cheer her up on Mother's Day. I ain't no pychiatirst,but she may lack direction in her life. everyone ,after getting out of school hopes to have job to go to. It even worse if she feels guilty that all the burden to provide is on your shoulders. |
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I work, she spends. I had one of those. Tongue in cheek, she is standing right beside me and wanted to know how I would answer the question. In truth, most of the time I have to convince her to spend money on herself or she would never buy clothes or really anything for herself. Also, she keeps me sane, and the pie ain't bad either.
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When I got married 24 years ago, I had one rule.....never ask what is in my gun safe or my gun related purchases. I said I would cook, clean, whatever but that is the deal. She accepted and has never questioned anything. We share the workload but I never have to explain the gun stuff. I feel a win here. Looking forward to my 25th Anniversary. Making it to 25 years is a win in itself. Congratulations! 
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Shit you not...I just had to roll my chair away from the comp so my darling could vacuum under me . I put up a fight buit I'm back now. We share all duties inside outside , just good ole teamwork. +1 I don't think I've done a single load of laundry but I do all the yard work. Ying and yang. Doesn't mean you don't have to work hard at making the relationship work, especially when you have kids. |
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What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. At this point I just stay married for the kids. I used to think there were "roles" Now it seems it's whatever i have to do to keep it together. |
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Quoted:
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. BWAHAHAHAHA 
It only gets worse Bro, been married 20 yrs this Sept. HONEYMOONS OVER.........
ETA: NOW GET BACK TO WORK |
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We have several unspoken agreements. 1. I won't bother her in the middle of the week when she is studying for school and in turn we have sex every weekend. (my favorite aggreement I might add) 2. I take care of the yard work and vehicles, she does the inside. 3. I don't complain about her useless spending and she won't bother me about my guns and ammo. Those are the first three off the top of my head. You guys have quite the appetite
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She works 40 hours and comes home. I work 60 hours plus Guard, plus various Emergency Management things. I do what I get around to doing, and in return, I don't bitch when she doesn't get around to doing something. Our standing agreement is if something is so bad it pisses me off, I'll just do it. Works for us both. pretty much how we do it. two full time jobs and two small kids means "the shit gets done when i have time". |
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Mine hasn't had a job in 3 years but she cooks, cleans, does laundry and cares for a boatload of animals. She also gets on the tractor and cuts grass (if it's nice out). I pay the bills and weedwhack/garden till etc. I'm probably the slacker but I do cook sometimes and do it well. |
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Quoted:
What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. When a woman's work ethic falls apart, why do you think that is? Do happy, self-confident people just stop doing and caring? Ok, now we understand that there's probably something going on deeper than her just not keeping house right? So, here's where magic happens and you get to appear caring, intelligent and insightful. You get the chance to intervene in her unhappiness before you start a thread that says "out of nowhere, she says she's not in love with me and she's leaving!!". Communicate, communicate, communicate. When you're sick of that, communicate some more. What's bothering her that she's not holding up her end? Is she unhappy with you? With her appearance? Is she bored, is she restless? Is she having hormonal problems? etc. None of this is you excusing her falling down on the job, but it IS your chance to step in and source the cause instead of discovering the symptoms, and working on making it better by her understanding that she's a partner too, and if there's something wrong that manifests itself in her not getting shit done, you'll help her to work it out. Don't ever confuse not understanding women with not wanting to. It's easy to understand their motivation, it's another thing entirely to accept them. That's where most men fail. We do talk. I understand most of her problem is wanting a job. She get frustrated, and I can't blame her. I was seven yrs into my career when we met, so I've always pretty much been the breadwinner. Now that the kids are in school all day, and she has her degree, she's been hoping to get some employment. I think she really wants to earn, so we can have a little more, save a little, give the kids a little more, what ever. I don't want to sound like I'm a total dufus, I do understand her. Sometimes. |
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What's the "agreement" between you two? My "agreement" was that I will work, pay the bills, and take care of the outside of the property, and she will do the domestic indoor chores, (Cleaning, laundry, etc.) We share cooking, since I love to eat. Well, lately, she's been slipping. I brought this up today, and now I'm a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker don't you know?
I don't understand womenz. Even after thirteen years with this one. Same as you - except I've been a sonuvabitchassholecocksuckermutherfucker for 22 years now. In all honesty it generally works out well. From time to time though one of us complains we are doing more than our share. We are usually right. |