Posted: 3/11/2009 7:42:35 AM EDT
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> To all my "OLD" friends.
> > Scotch with two drops of water. > A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a > Scotch with two drops > of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, > > 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday > and it's today...' > > The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your > birthday, I'll buy you a drink. > In fact, this one is on me.' > > As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right > says, 'I would like > to buy you a drink, too.' > > The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a > Scotch with two drops of > water.' > > 'Coming up,' says the bartender > > As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, > 'I would like to buy > you one, too.' > > The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want > another Scotch with two > drops of water.' > > 'Coming right up,' the bartender says. > > As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm > dying of curiosity. Why the > Scotch with only two drops of water?' > > The old woman replies, > 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how > to hold your liquor. Holding > your water, however, is a whole other issue.' > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs > and make love,' and you answer, > 'Pick one; I can't do both!' > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Your friends compliment you > on your new alligator > shoes.... > and you're barefoot. > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > A sexy babe catches your fancy > and your pacemaker opens the garage door, > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Going braless > pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > You don't care where your spouse goes, > just as long as you don't have to go along. > > 'OLD' IS WHEN.... > You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by > the police > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > 'Getting a little action' > means you don't need to take any fiber today. > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > 'Getting lucky' means you find your car > in the parking lot. > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > An 'all nighter' means not getting up > to use the bathroom. > > AND > > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > You're not sure these are jokes |