[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Neighbor Dillema (Page 1 of 4)
Posted: 2/28/2009 1:02:46 PM EDT
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Ok, I get up this morning and head down to the range for a couple hours (about a half-hour away). When I get back, I turn on my street, and I see a Buzzard leisurely walking across the street toward my neighbor's house. We really don't have buzzards here, so I park my truck and look across the street in my neighbor's front yard, and there's a BIG-ASS raccoon lying right in the middle of his yard, paws-up. I can see his face, and it doesn't look like he was particularly happy when he died. My neighbor's been out in the yard 3 or 4 times since I came home, just looks at the raccoon and the birds and walks back in his house.
Now here's the problem. This guy's a fucking asshole. He moved in about 3 years ago (most of the other neighbors have been here 20+ years). When he first moved in, we thought he was cool, and even ran off other people looking at the house with "hope you like gangs!", "hey, did they get the stink out of the bedroom where that guy died?", "I hope all those barrels of green stuff they dumped on your lot as fill don't collapse" and other crap. We live on a short street and there's no renters, everybody keeps their houses up, 3 of the 6 of us have Harleys, we all have an "interest"  in firearms, no Section 8 housing or Ghetto Rats, ALL conservatives, basically a rare neighborhood.
The new guy is a Disabled Vietnam Vet (early 50's) and seemed cool, so we welcomed him into the neighborhood. Well, turns out he was a New York union garbage collector who got to choose between prison and Vietnam, and took so many drugs that he kept cutting/shooting/hurting himself. According to him, he pulled all this crazy shit just to get a full military disability, which he did. There IS something wrong with him, but I think it's more natural asshole than disability. When he first moved in, he came over and asked "yo, youz got some guns? I wanna buy some gunz". I referred him to the local gun shops, and suggested he TRY and apply for a CCW (he asked about it). Well, his extensive FELONY history kept him from the CCW, and he coundn't understand why the gun shops wouldn't sell him a gun. Everybody in the 'hood thinks he's strange. He's useless and keeps bugging us for shit like "how do youz put 'da friggin salt in 'da softener?", I can't figure out how to turn on my new friggin' TV, can youz show me? (seriously, he just bought a 61" Plasma and couldn't figure it out". I did minor repairs on his car a few times just because he's our neighbor, but when I needed to borrow 20 bucks one night until I went to the ATM in the morning, his response was "sure, just bring me 40 in the morning, I ain't no friggin' bank". The last straw was when we got into a heated argument during the election. He kept sending the White House e-mails about how Bush was a Nazi, Enemy of the State, etc, and how Obongo couldn't be any worse and thought he'd increase his disability checks. I fucking lost it and haven't talked to him since. Anyway, what about this fucking dead raccoon? There must be 30 buzzards out there by now, shittin' all over the street, and it just pisses me off that he just let it lay there. Fuckin' thing probably had rabies, and there's kids and dogs walking up and down the street. Animal Control won't touch it because it's on private property, and he has a habit of just leaving shit lying around in his front yard for months. The lawn mower in the picture has been there for 4 months, and he had an RV parked in the front yard next to the front door for 6 months. He mowed his lawn ONCE last year and in Florida, that's not good. I WILL NOT call Code or the Cops on him because I'm a believer in if it's your property, then you can do, park, or shit on it as you wish, and it's none of the Gov'ments business, but dead animals and buzzards in the front yard????? If he wasn't home, I'd just go bury it, but the lazy fuck is in there. I guess it's just the principle of the thing. If you find a dead animal in your front yard on a public street, have enough courtesy to bury it so it doesn't stink-up the neighborhood or scare/poison somebody/something else. Whattda think? 
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A) Enjoy the new wildlife... The carcass will probably stink less after the buzzards pick off all the rotting flesh. B) Remember to boil scavenger birds for at least 15-20 minutes to kill all the parasites. C) Be nice, before I start a topic about how you are being mean to a wounded hero from Vietnam.  |
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That's fucking hilarious.
The turkey vultures will take care of the carrion and then leave. Until then, relish the unique photographic opportunity you have been presented. Crazy guy is crazy. No sense in poking that hornet's nest. I see rubber in the road. Who is doing hole shots in front of the house? eta - turkey vultures posess an acute olfactory sense, having the ability to smell rotting carrion on the updrafts from over a mile away. |
And I thought my neighbors dogs shitting on my lawn was an issue. At least I don't have your problem...yet.
Walk over with a gas can and some strike anywhere matches. Douse the ex-raccoon with the petrol and set it afire. When the neighbor comes out yelling and screaming, tell him that's how it's done in these parts but since he can't even turn on his own T.V. or refill his softner you'd thought you'd show him.
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Buzzards are amazing creatures. Ugly as hell; no feathers on the head so they won't get stuck when pulling out of that carcass, eyes like the devil so they can see that dead mouse at 800 feet, soaring ability unmatched except perhaps by the condor. And they'll puke on you if you spook 'em on the roost.
We'd be neck deep in dead critters if it were not for the turkey vulture. |
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The pics are flat hilarious.
The OP wants to have his cake and eat it too. If it's his land and the government has no business there, then neither do you. Live with your own choice. If my neighbor was leaving carrion in the yard, and inviting carrion eaters to shit all over the neighborhood, I'd be on the phone with the Board of helath until they rolled up in his driveway. Apparantly the OPs "principles" are more important than his standards of cleanliness. So be it. |
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Quoted:
That's fucking hilarious. The turkey vultures will take care of the carrion and then leave. Until then, relish the unique photographic opportunity you have been presented. Crazy guy is crazy. No sense in poking that hornet's nest. I see rubber in the road. Who is doing hole shots in front of the house? eta - turkey vultures posess an acute olfactory sense, having the ability to smell rotting carrion on the updrafts from over a mile away. Nailed it. |
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Go play dead in your yard and see if you can catch one of the birds when comes to have a bite. HAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Do this and post pictures. That would make this thread epic. OK, you asked for it! Sorry, but I laid out there for 20 minutes and they were too busy chewing on the Coon, BUT......there were 5 circling above me....does that count? Hell, I even tried showing a little "Plumber's Crack" to try and lure them over!!!! (and ya, I know I'm a fatass, but I'm "workin' on it ". All Ninjas aren't skinny, OK?
Yes, those are his burnouts in the street. Every time we ask him to PLEASE do that somewhere else, he makes it a point to do one or two in front of our houses. He bought some Camaro (I think it's an '87) on E-Bay for $14,000.00 and paid to have it shipped from New York to Florida because it was "one of a kind" The paint's flaking off it, it smokes BAD, has 167,000 miles on it and he spent $900.00 bucks to have a Posi put in it so he could do those "cool" burnouts. Well, it ain't pretty but here it is.......... 
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Quoted: Well, it ain't pretty but here it is.......... http://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg323/jporter171/Buzzards006.jpg Nothing personal, but I think it's going to take a LOT more than 10 buzzards to pick your Buddha body clean!  |
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Just FYI, "early 50s" is awfully young for this guy to be a Vietnam vet.
The war ended in 1973 (and by then most US troops were long gone already). Assuming this guy was 17 years old when he joined up (about the youngest age he could have been) and saw service at the extreme tail end of the conflict, then yes, he COULD be a 'Nam vet and only be around 53 or so, but how likely is that? I'm thinking your estimate of his age must be a little on the low side, or else he might be a poser. |
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Quoted:
I think these Black Vultures here are just as well equipped..That's fucking hilarious. The turkey vultures will take care of the carrion and then leave. Until then, relish the unique photographic opportunity you have been presented. Crazy guy is crazy. No sense in poking that hornet's nest. I see rubber in the road. Who is doing hole shots in front of the house? eta - turkey vultures posess an acute olfactory sense, having the ability to smell rotting carrion on the updrafts from over a mile away.
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