Answering Machine Message Ideas > General Discussion

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:08:26 PM EDT

Help me come up with a funny answering machine message that is appropriate for all callers.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:12:08 PM EDT

[#1]

Mine is,

"Hello.............I'm just screwin' with ya leave a message."

It pisses people off all the time.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:13:25 PM EDT

[#2]

" Sorry I cannot make it to the phone right now. I am actually in court for roughing up a couple of Obama supporters that were handing out Socialist leaflets. Please leave a name and number and I will get back to you if I am not locked up. Vote McCain for 2008." *BEEP

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:15:43 PM EDT

[#3]

"If you are calling me to tell me to vote for Obama, go fuck your mother. Have a nice day"

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:17:17 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Mine is,

"Hello.............I'm just screwin' with ya leave a message."

It pisses people off all the time.

"Hey its *your name*, how's it going?........That's cool......Ummm, please leave a message *BEEP*

I have a friend who has this. It's very annoying.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:18:12 PM EDT

[#5]

what's an answering machine???

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:19:19 PM EDT

[#6]

Mine's a simple "Go *beep*", the "Hello? Hello? Sir?"s from telemarketers are funny.
The voicemail system at work wants you to just say your name, it has prerecorded messages regarding your availability it automatically uses. One lady has "You have reached __________ at ________, I am either unavailable or not at my desk please accept my apologies, if this is critical please contact ________ at ______ or ________ at _______" and the system is so old you cant skip it. I have to talk to her 5-6 times per day and end up listening to that at least three times.

Kharn

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:20:34 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
what's an answering machine???

Its this cool device that records all the "dits" and "dashes" when you can't make it to your telegraph in time.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:31:56 PM EDT

[#8]

Not funny, but practical. I have a standard message that is preceded by that 3 note tone that you hear when "you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service"

Any automated telemarketing calls or auto-dialers are programmed to hang up at this tone and tag it as a bad number. Most legit callers just have a brief moment of confusion before they hear your regular message.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:33:22 PM EDT

[#9]

Record a Dalek voice

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:35:33 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
what's an answering machine???

Its this cool device that records all the "dits" and "dashes" when you can't make it to your telegraph in time.

Is that like a video cassette recorder?

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:35:42 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Not funny, but practical. I have a standard message that is preceded by that 3 note tone that you hear when "you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service"

Any automated telemarketing calls or auto-dialers are programmed to hang up at this tone and tag it as a bad number. Most legit callers just have a brief moment of confusion before they hear your regular message.

oh snap batman!

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:38:09 PM EDT

[#12]

I can't come to the phone
because I am not home
so please leave a message
after the tone.

But if you're a burglar,
I'm not gone at all,
I'm cleaning my shotgun,
while screening your call!

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:38:56 PM EDT

[#13]

ZOMG- you what would be soooo cool..

have the kids records a very cutesy, rambling message that takes 45 seconds to listen through.....use lots of high-pitched kids voices....

that'd be reallly cool. I hope it catches on.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:42:51 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Not funny, but practical. I have a standard message that is preceded by that 3 note tone that you hear when "you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service"

Any automated telemarketing calls or auto-dialers are programmed to hang up at this tone and tag it as a bad number. Most legit callers just have a brief moment of confusion before they hear your regular message.

Thats freaking cool

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:45:00 PM EDT

[#15]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZJH8FTcSIg
this

(not a rick roll)

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:45:39 PM EDT

[#16]

My standard is..............."You've reached the number you've dialed. I am either screening calls or not available. Leave a message.

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:47:55 PM EDT

[#17]

Thank you for calling. Your call is very un-portant to us. Please leave your social security number for identity theft. Thank you. *beep*

Posted: 10/21/2008 4:53:07 PM EDT

[#18]

Hello, you have reached the number that you have dialed. If you feel that you reached this number in error please hang up........................................................

Posted: 10/21/2008 5:13:06 PM EDT

[#19]

"This is Afloc, I'm not here, you know the drill." Beep

Posted: 10/21/2008 5:16:43 PM EDT

[#20]

"you know what to do"

beep.

Posted: 10/21/2008 5:43:25 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
My standard is..............."You've reached the number you've dialed. I am either screening calls or not available. Leave a message.

When my parents moved last time, Mom was freaked out about an article she read in a magazine so she set their answering machine to be her just reading the phone number ("123-456-7890 *beep*"), that lead to some wierd messages for a few weeks until Dad told her that it was rediculous and that they should have a greeting like normal people.

Kharn

Posted: 10/21/2008 5:53:11 PM EDT

[#22]

Mine is just me saying what number they've called and to please leave a message after the beep.

However, just to piss people off..I say it all reeaaaallllllly sllloooowwwwwlllllyyyy.

It takes like 30 seconds to get through the messsage. I figure if they're militant enough to wait through it all and leave a message..it's probably important.

Posted: 10/21/2008 5:55:11 PM EDT

[#23]

"At the beep speak."

Posted: 10/21/2008 6:03:52 PM EDT

[#24]

Hello.

(wait 3 secs)

Hellooooo?

(wait 3 seconds)

If you're there I can't hear you.

(wait 3 secs)

Damn, I hate when people do that.

(wait 3 secs)

Screw it. I'm hanging up. Damn people.

(wait 3 secs)

By the way, leave a message.

Beep.

---------------------------------------

My sister threatened to killmedead over this.

Posted: 10/21/2008 6:06:32 PM EDT

[#25]

I used a recording of Banana Phone at one time.

Posted: 10/21/2008 6:12:12 PM EDT

[#26]

I use these, I change out the message every couple of months.

www.thesandbox.net/arm/rockford/answering_machine/index.html

I am using this one right now - www.thesandbox.net/arm/rockford/answering_machine/assets/message_313.mp3

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