Posted: 7/27/2008 7:48:07 AM EDT
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Aren't these awesome! I've got another one. My wife's mom has a condo timeshare that she used to book a condo in Galveston a while back. It was ours to use if her brother decided not to use it for his turn. This was several months and a few family vacations ago. Fast forward two weeks ago. Wife tells me that her brother was using it and I sighed a sigh of relief at not having to go. November, we went to Florida, January we went to snow skiing, and July we went to Port Aransas (coast). All time with the family as well as, weekends in between of going to the lake, etc. My point being, we spend a lot together as a family. Last week she tells me that her brother wants us "all" to go. Well, niether one of us like to spend that much time around him. So we were going to discuss it. I pretty much decided I was vacationed out, and that I really need to not miss anymore work for vacations. Then I get offered a chance to go shoot on this Sunday on private land and shoot a car up. So I talked to my oldest about whether he would rather go w/ me to that or got to the coast again. You guessed it, shooting a car up was higher on his list. HOWEVER (insert shitstorm w/ wife), when I get home on this day, I tell my wife how I want to take the oldest and shoot for the day on Sunday, and she goes ballistic. Tells me how I don't want to spend time w/ her and the boys, how important it is for her to go to spend time w/ her parents (Note: she NEVER indicated to me that they were going. Also, we did this same thing last summer at the same place together and she BITCHED about her family and being too cramped). She dramatically states that she wants to spend time w/ them since she doesn't know how much longer they'll be here. Then she ruins a date night over this in which I actually LEAVE the house for a while b/c of the stupid BS she spews about how I'm selfish, always get my way, blah, blah. NO I don't. If I want to go out w/ friends, I end up having to go after 9:30pm so I can get the kids, fed/in bed. I usually have to pass on other shoots b/c it's a bad weekend, like now. As most know here, when a shoot comes up on land, and anything goes, you can't just pass them up. I really just don't want to go. I don't want to spend the money, don't want to take two days off work AGAIN, and I don't want to go to the coast, AGAIN, and don't want to be around her brother for that length of time. And not to mention driving 4-5hrs to get there. I did offer a comprimise of taking all of Friday off, go down in the morning, then come back w/ the oldest Sat night and go Sun morning and let her and the youngest come back w/ her brother, or parents. Hell, I'd even come home Sunday early and get to the shoot later in the day. I really don't think her family would even care anyway. I don't think her brother cares for me that much either. |
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I never want to get in the middle of my wife's relationship with her family. But sometimes I have things I need to get done too. My wife and our youngest spent last week at her mom's 2000 miles away. I bought a couple plane tickets and scored bonus points. Try "I want you to have a good relationship with your parents and I hope you have a great time. But I can't go this time." |
This is what prompted me leaving the house for several hours. I laid it down like that. What's funny, is that EVERYTIME something like this comes up for her to do, it's the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER to her and I'm a selfish prick. If I was going to see my parents w/ the boys, or one of them and she didn't want to go, I'd say fine. Of course she says that she'll take the boys and go w/o me.  And I remind her that my oldest wants to go with me. Great father son thing too. And she doesn't care and that she doesn't want to hurt her parents' feelings. They live 15mins away, and they spend lots of time over there on a regular basis.A big part of going was the taking my son w/ me. 
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Meh, every extended family "guilts" others to get their way. I don't guilt easy........ If the one son wants to stay with you then she should accept that COMPROMISE, after all, compromising is one of the foundations of family, not my way all the time. |
This is the precise reason why we are having this issue to begin with. The fear of her being mad for a while, and/or bring it up everytime we have a sim. argument. Incidentally, she, w/o consultation will decide to go w/ her friends to Canton to go shopping for a couple days. When I raise this, her excuse is that she needs that time after being w/ the kids all the time. Youngest is in Mother's day out 4 days a week, and the oldest is in 3rd(will be) during the school year.
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