Posted: 1/8/2008 6:59:40 PM EDT
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Man: I'd like a large coffee please. Kid: Would you like cream or sugar with that? Man: No thanks. Kid: That will be 79 cents. Woman: (after standing in line for 25 minutes) I like to get a Venti Mocha Latte double-expresso half-caff Poke-a-ninny. Barrista: Would you like calf-cream. It's from Guatemala. Woman: Um..okay. By the way, I love your nose ring. Barrista: Thanks. My boyfriend bought it for me when I graduated from my hemp weaving class. Woman: That's so cool. Barrista: Did you want your cream frothed or whipped? Woman: Let's try it whipped. Barrista: poured in or spooned? Woman: Spooned please. Barrista: Would you like to try some Angel Wings with it. Woman: Sure. Can I also get a spoonful of Bunny Smiles? Barrista: Absolutely. Regular or Decaf Bunnies? Woman: Decaf. Barrista: Anything else today? Woman: I don't think so. Barrista: Would you like to donate a dollar to save the rain forest. Woman: Of course. Barrista: Great. What's your name? Woman: Trina. Barrista: (Writes name on cup and hands the cup to a co-worker) Barrista2: (plays with various appliances and devices - all of which sounds like someone bringing up phlegm from the deepest recesses of their lungs) Woman: (Moves to the side and waits another 10 minutes) Barrista2: (Hands cup of Venti, double-mocha, etc to Woman) That will be $6.73. Woman: (Hands over money) Oh, these are the new "Save the Manatee" cups! |
If I'm not mistaken, coffee has MORE caffeine than espresso. |
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In my experience, the "men" are just as bad. I went into a coffee house one time that had the right idea. They had the normal long line, full of nitwits waiting to get their lips on a cup of mocha-latte-french-spooge-au'lait, but they also had a pot of regular coffee at the end of the counter, with a metal can next to it. You dropped a buck in the can, poured a cup, and left. It was on the honor system, and everybody honored it (amazing how good people are when you don't assume the worst). In and out in 60 seconds. Sweet. |
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Walk into a Starbucks and order a black coffee. They'll look at you with a blank face, and say "coffee? black? Is that it?", and I say, "Yea, that's it, how much?". They say, "Do you want whipped cream? Maybe frothed milk?" I say "No, black coffee, that's it, how much?" They they say "How about a shot of espresso, or maybe a shot of mocha?" At this point I lean across the counter, so my ugly mug is about 3 inches from this kid's face and say "Son, don't make me come around that counter and get my coffee, ok?". It's usually about then that I get my coffee. But usually not without a "Want me to leave room for cream and sugar?", just to let me know who's in charge. I've actually got the people at the local Starbucks trained up pretty well. They no longer sound like Miss Teen South Carolina talking about maps when I ask for a cup of black coffee. But when a new person shows up behind the counter, it's game on! |
Ummm...yes. We got an espresso maker for Christmas. Easy to make and it does have a Kick to it. dvo |
You are mistaken. A 1oz shot of espresso has the SAME amount of caffeine as a 8oz cup of coffee. 
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Denis Leary has a great bit on Coffee Flavored Coffee. Here (not a RR) -JTP |
+1 for bunny smiles |
 I walked into Starbucks and ordered a plain, black coffee. I got this look ----->  Kid was totally confused!And it tasted like road tar.  Now I don't go to Starbucks. 
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| [George Carlin]The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low-fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n-Low and one NutraSweet, ooh, you're a huge asshole[/George Carlin] |
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I used to hit this Starbucks in Houston, every time I'd be driving back to the DFW area. One time I had a chick in front of me that went through a similarly annoying order. When I stepped up to place my order, I told the girl behind the counter "I want four shots of espresso. I'm facing a long drive and within thirty minutes I want to have heart palpitations, I wanna be pounding on the steering wheel, and singing at the top of my lungs. And I plan on drinking the whole thing before I get out the front door." She just gave me one of these:
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