Posted: 8/30/2007 10:09:23 PM EDT
| “To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.” |
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"I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks." "If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone." "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'" And one of my all-time favorites: "I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him." |
Just saw it and laughed: We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town. |
| "I remember going to a family reunion at my grandparents' farm when I was little. After lunch, nobody could find Grandpa. Then my little sister said, "There he is!" and pointed at the roof of the barn. Sure enough, there was Grandpa, up on the roof of the barn. He walked right to the edge, and was screaming, "I'll show you! I'll show you all!!" to everyone. I forget what happened next." |