Posted: 2/15/2007 3:08:40 AM EDT
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Fellas BEWARE of the ways of the woman! So we have been together for a solid year and a half. She was 18, I was 22. Everything was perfect, everyday she'd tell me how much she loved me, we seriously talked about marriage, and we both knew those were the happiest days of our lives, and never would anything or anyone be able to bring us apart. I would have fought a thousand men for her and she would have waited an eternity for me. It was true love -- the most beautiful thing either of us had ever known, and the time flew by. And then in ONE FUCKING DAY she turns into a SUPER-BITCH WHORE spawn of Satan. WTF?! This happened about one month ago, and I'm just now starting to recover. But it's rough. After a few late nights studying ARFCOM, I've come up with a possible explanation: SHIFT THEORY. Shift Theory was formalized by John_Wayne777 and is explained in this thread. To sum it up: 
LITERALLY, in ONE day, this woman went from i-love-you-so-much to get-away-from-me-you-asshole. This is after a year and a half of us seeing eachother everyday, eating dinner together nearly everyday, going on a two-month long traveling vacation together on another continent, me building a close relationship with her family, and us never losing contact with eachother for more than a few hours at a time. A year and a half of being deeply in love. And then BAM. She morphs into a bitch!  I'm torn. Because part of me loves her more than anything else in the world, while the other part of me recognizes her whorish betrayal. And everyday that passes by now, that first part gets a little smaller and that second part gets a little bigger. I've spent the last month trying to reconcile, but I've finally, i think, given up hope. A couple years ago, I was tired of working dead-end hard-labor jobs in the same old town. I packed up my shit into a suitcase and $2000 and headed out far away. It was the best thing I ever did. I ended up in Europe and met this girl. She was going to a big university in a hi-tech bachelor/masters program. I was damn near broke trying to make some money. A couple months after we were together, at the outset of winter, I did go broke. There just wasn't enough work for a foreigner in the European Socialist Utopia. She paid my rent for one month, bless her heart. Things between us were great, but with no steady job available, I had to try something new, so I resorted to an old hobby of mine: programming. I was making small programs for small businesses and pretty soon I was making enough money to live on. Those were good days. Her and I were inseperable. It was during this time we both knew that one day we were going to get married. We looked forward to the summer, where we hoped to have enough money saved for us to visit the US. We flew to the US as planned for a two month trip. I bought a cheap truck and we hit the road, seeing everything there is to see in the good ol' western USA... Grand Canyon, Rocky Mountains, Buffalo herds, shooting rifles, everything. We would camp in our tent and cook steaks, but we'd also stay in hotel rooms sometimes so that I could work on a laptop when needed. We made some good memories, and it probably was probably the peak of our relationship. Then we got back to Europe and she started school again. The money from my business was really starting to pour in and I started working more and seeing her less (although still a lot). We both continued to live modestly, and she never asked me to buy her shit, and even now I still live in the same rented-room I moved into over a year and a half ago. We never had big arguments, we got along great as usual. But I was working more and more. Things were still good between us though, but sometime about 2 months ago, somehow, we just lost the magic and got into a daily routine. We had a couple of small, minor arguments over stupid shit. But it wasn't a big deal. She became friends with this guy at school, who we'll call Jody, (80% of her classmates are guys). She had other guy friends and I was cool with them all, except this dude. I didn't trust him, and he set off red flags in my gut instinct. I told her I'd be happier if she stayed away from him, but it made her think I was trying to control her or some shit. She said he's just a friend, but I knew what this dude was up to. And she didn't believe me until he gave her flowers and tried to make a move on her. She turned him down. But, for some unknown reason, she LIED to me about the incident, because she didn't want to upset me. If she would have just told me what happened, I would have been happy. Because she lied, I stopped trusting her, especially when she wanted to remain friends with him. And especially when she started wearing gobs of make-up, like a cheap whore, before she'd go to school. She used to rarely wear make-up before, and she was perfectly beautiful without the make-up, but all of a sudden she wanted to wear make-up. So right after all this happened, we went on a 3-week trip to the US for Christmas. We argued during this 3-week trip in the US. She wanted me to trust her, and I wanted her to leave him alone. It was a rough period, but we worked it out. We made-up, said we loved eachother plenty of times, and eventually flew back to Europe together. Two days later, the Great Shift occured. Suddenly out of nowhere (after telling me the night before how she loved me) she said she didn't love me anymore and said she needed a few days alone to think about it. I tried desperately to fix things, I tried everything. The nicer I was (and I was always nice to her, but I mean things like flowers, letters, trying to take her out to eat, etc), then the more she treated me like shit. She just kept pushing me further and further away, to the point where she wouldn't answer her phone anymore and refused to see me. And it's not like I was bugging her 24/7; I just wanted to see her for an hour in the evening so we could talk and work things out. And you'd think I was a child-rapist axe-murderer, judging by the way she treated me after the Great Shift. After a year and a half of near-perfect love, and me treating her like a princess and her treating me like a prince, she just changed, and I was dead to her. There were warning signs in the preceding few weeks (and those warning signs were the source of the arguments we had), but damn, just overnight she just transformed. Within a week of the Great Shift, she had a sleepover with this Jody, and has several times since in the last couple weeks. What a lying whore. Part of me has been saying "EJECT! EJECT!" ever since the warning signs started to show a couple months ago. But then my heart says I love her, and I'd do anything for her. But what do you do when you love a whore... And I remember, around this time last year, I was broke and on my knees praying to God to help me become successful so that her and I could live a happy life together, because we loved eachother so much. And here I am now, making more money than i know what to do with, and I know it's hard to feel sorry for me, but I've hardly spent a dime of it and I'd give up every penny in a heartbeat just to take back the last couple months. Now I can afford anything, yet I've lost everything I ever truly cared about, and I feel like I have nothing left. It's been the lowest point of my life, and I've prayed for help, but my faith isn't strong enough. And I know I sound bitter posting this, but I don't know what else to feel. |
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I feel for you buddy but that's the way it goes. Sounds like a real nice 1.5 romance. Just be glad you didn't spend that time living in your mom's basement playing video games and wanking off. The next time is always better. Sounds like you have your shit together pretty good. |
I just had second thoughts. it felt good typing it up, but I can't take the heat right now. |
Thanks, I appreciate that. |
It will take about 3 full weeks to fully get over it but after that you will look back and say FUCK HER, and and then go bang one of her friends . Dude after you go through several events like that you will realize its better to not have a girlfriend. Plus 18yo girls dont know anything about relationships. Im also 22, i dated several girls younger than me and every one of them was a different cluster fuck. I found that i prefer girls my age. I remember being 18........it seemed every girl acted like she was all growen up and had the whole world figured out.............when truly they were clueless and would "shift" all the time. I think they kind of phase out of the "shift" about 21 years old....................Now im not saying they wont do it again, b/c im not that far along yet, but some of the older guys here could probably enlighten us. |
Cowboy up son. You let this bitch take control of your relationship. You gave her the upper hand. Then she took your self respect. You need to get her mom to blow you. |
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Dude, You should seriously consider yourself lucky, you might have married her, had kids, bought a house and all the other things that adults do, and she would have still had her 'shift' and fucked you up royally. Instead of highlighting the negitves, concentrate of he possitive, you are FREE, you have lots of money, there are many, many women who still don't know how small you penis is. Now stop whining like a little bitch and go fuck some of them..... (Whining like a little bitch is what shortens any mans penis!!!) |
Except for those here who actually do live in their mom's basement playing video games, we've all BTDT. It sucks big time. And nothing is going to make it feel better other than time. I agree with one of the above posters to just concentrate on your job, work out, be happy . . . chicks will flock to you. 
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Sorry dude, let me paraphrase that for you: "So there I was, sitting in the ocean with sharks around me, while I was eating a nice juicy steak... The water was warm, the sun was out, everything was perfect." Don't expect anything to be "serious" with any woman under 25. If it doesn't work out, find another one. Everything your wrote after the quote above is irrelevant. Don't ever talk to her again. |
Yeah, I gotta say, as someone who had their heart ripped out of their chest and stomped on in front of them, I can honestly say I wish I had spent the time in my mother's basement playing video games and wanking off. |
To me, this sounds more like the common "my GF got bored with me and found a new guy" than the more complicated "Shift" thing. Either way, sorry to hear it happend. But better now that AFTER you are married.  |
Dude we have all been there!!!!!! Just think if this would have happened in another year or so ,after you two were married and started a family, you would be REALLY screwed!! I see a couple of things you can do: 1: For the next month keep busy with the business and do the things you want to do to make yourself be happy without her. 2: Do what you have done before , move somewhere else. Just think now shes Jody's problem not yours. p.s. don't forget screw some of her friends!! |