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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Geeky code humor (Page 1 of 2)

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9/20/2006 12:29:36 PM EDT
I don't care what language.  Just post something funny.


select * from butt where person_state = 'sitting on toliet'
9/20/2006 12:31:26 PM EDT
[#1]

Quoted:
I don't care what language.  Just post something funny.

select * from butt where person_state = 'sitting on toliet'


You go first.

9/20/2006 12:31:54 PM EDT
[#2]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I don't care what language.  Just post something funny.

select * from butt where person_state = 'sitting on toliet'


You go first.

9/20/2006 12:36:17 PM EDT
[#3]
Pick-up line of the day: "Would you like to come to my house and check out my X setup?"
9/20/2006 12:36:31 PM EDT
[#4]
This is no joke just really bad coding.  I was given some code one time that actually had this conditional in it:

if (i == 1)
{
  i = 1;
}
else
{
  i = 1;
}

i = 1;

Just like that.  Do you think they wanted i to equal 1?
9/20/2006 12:38:03 PM EDT
[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I don't care what language.  Just post something funny.

select * from butt where person_state = 'sitting on toliet'


You go first.



Nice
9/20/2006 12:40:51 PM EDT
[#6]
C:\>DOS

C:\DOS>RUN

RUN DOS RUN
9/20/2006 12:43:53 PM EDT
[#7]
c: enter : ###
9/20/2006 12:45:07 PM EDT
[#8]
delete *.*   [enter]

9/20/2006 12:48:02 PM EDT
[#9]
Go to a UNIX machine and type . . .

> gotta light

the machine will return

- no match

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
9/20/2006 12:49:13 PM EDT
[#10]
select * from users where clue > 0

0 row(s) returned.
9/20/2006 12:50:19 PM EDT
[#11]

Quoted:
Go to a UNIX machine and type . . .

> gotta light

the machine will return

- no match

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


not with the bash shell on my stuff at least :(

SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned

haha Admirial Crunch beat me by a hair!
9/20/2006 12:51:18 PM EDT
[#12]
for i in `ls /dev/hd?; ls /dev/sd?`; do dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/$i &; done

yes | ls



-Foxxz
9/20/2006 12:51:51 PM EDT
[#13]

Quoted:
Go to a UNIX machine and type . . .

> gotta light

the machine will return

- no match

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


You forgot the "?":

> gotta light ?
9/20/2006 12:54:45 PM EDT
[#14]

Quoted:
for i in `ls /dev/hd?; ls /dev/sd?`; do dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/$i &; done
-Foxxz


Output the contents of the HDD to the screen?
9/20/2006 12:55:07 PM EDT
[#15]
# cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

# make love
make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

etc.
9/20/2006 12:57:01 PM EDT
[#16]
Back in "the day" some wise guy would create a file called "*" in your root dir.  Of course you would remove it and wipe out your whole directory.

rm *

instead of rm "*"
9/20/2006 12:57:56 PM EDT
[#17]
I work with a Math major in the computer field, and when asking her about her math geek boyfriend, I told her he probably first met her by passing a note in an advanced number theory class that said

UR=QTPI
9/20/2006 1:00:07 PM EDT
[#18]
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux

edit:

X@X:~$ cat "food in cans"
cat: food in cans: No such file or directory

X@X:~$ make love
make: *** No rule to make target `love'.  Stop.

These jokes are teh fails.
9/20/2006 1:02:36 PM EDT
[#19]

Quoted:
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux


Only works for the bash lusers.. OS doesn't matter. ;)

Er does NOT work with bash, or tcsh for that matter.  Not sure what shell/system has a 'gotta'
9/20/2006 1:02:57 PM EDT
[#20]
This is OLD school, probably KORN shell.  been many years since I've messed with that.


Quoted:
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux
9/20/2006 1:04:05 PM EDT
[#21]

Quoted:

Quoted:
for i in `ls /dev/hd?; ls /dev/sd?`; do dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/$i &; done
-Foxxz


Output the contents of the HDD to the screen?

No. It fills every file on the system with 0x00

That is an evil command.
9/20/2006 1:05:21 PM EDT
[#22]

Quoted:

Quoted:
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux


Only works for the bash lusers.. OS doesn't matter. ;)


Uh, I'm running bash. So do most linux users.

Right?
9/20/2006 1:08:08 PM EDT
[#23]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux


Only works for the bash lusers.. OS doesn't matter. ;)


Uh, I'm running bash. So do most linux users.

Right?


Yeah, see the ETA.  This one should work on a more modern unix. ;)

# make fire
make: don't know how to make fire. Stop
# why not?
why: No match.
9/20/2006 1:09:41 PM EDT
[#24]

Quoted:
"gotta light ?"

returns "bash: gotta: command not found"

I guess it doesn't work with Linux

edit:

X@X:~$ cat "food in cans"
cat: food in cans: No such file or directory

X@X:~$ make love
make: *** No rule to make target `love'.  Stop.

These jokes are teh fails.


works with korn on SCO Unix
9/20/2006 1:10:38 PM EDT
[#25]
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.
9/20/2006 1:11:19 PM EDT
[#26]
I worked on MATLAB and SIMULINK for a bit and you could type in nonsense into their "command processor" and it would actually answer back after a bit.

something like . . .

>  What's the meaning of life?

It would answer

> get your butt back to work and stop goofing around . . .
9/20/2006 1:12:44 PM EDT
[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
for i in `ls /dev/hd?; ls /dev/sd?`; do dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/$i &; done
-Foxxz


Output the contents of the HDD to the screen?

No. It fills every file on the system with 0x00

That is an evil command.


Oh yeah. I see "if=/dev/zero"

I guess I should have checked that out before I hit "enter".
9/20/2006 1:16:01 PM EDT
[#28]
Reminds me a of a great bumper sticker I saw:

Five out of four people don't understand fractions.  


Quoted:
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.
9/20/2006 1:17:45 PM EDT
[#29]

Quoted:
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.


There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that choose not to make dumb jokes about it.
9/20/2006 1:17:52 PM EDT
[#30]
Have your ever thought about Roman Soldiers counting off?
9/20/2006 1:19:51 PM EDT
[#31]

Quoted:

Quoted:
for i in `ls /dev/hd?; ls /dev/sd?`; do dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/$i &; done
-Foxxz


Output the contents of the HDD to the screen?


Nope. Iterates through every hard drive in the system (both IDE and SCSI, it seems), and writes over them with zeros. Might kinda suck, if ya didn't mean it.
9/20/2006 1:21:41 PM EDT
[#32]
#include <stdio.h>

int main() {

    int i;

    for(i=1; i<100; i++) {
         printf("I will not talk in class.\n");
    }
   
    return 0;
}

Yeah, it's from Foxtrot but I laughed when I saw it.

ETA: The board kills the indent formatting.
9/20/2006 1:26:28 PM EDT
[#33]

Quoted:
Have your ever thought about Roman Soldiers counting off?


Not really, but I think I see where you're going with this. It doesn't work, though. It would be nullus, unus, duo, tres, quattuor, quinque, sex, septem, octo, novem, decem, etc. not I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X etc.
9/20/2006 1:28:23 PM EDT
[#34]
Breaking:  3/4's of all Americans comprise 75 percent of the population!
9/20/2006 1:28:59 PM EDT
[#35]

Quoted:
#include <stdio.h>

int main() {

    int i;

    for(i=1; i<100; i++) {
         printf("I will not talk in class.\n");
    }
   
    return 0;
}

Yeah, it's from Foxtrot but I laughed when I saw it.

ETA: The board kills the indent formatting.


It says "I will not talk in class" 100 times. Real programmers don't need whitespace. That's for those Python weenies.
9/20/2006 1:34:33 PM EDT
[#36]
Leave it to a programmer to misspell toilet, where's the core dump supposed to go?
9/20/2006 1:38:13 PM EDT
[#37]
Back in the good ole days of DOS, Norton had a hex editor.  I modified my command.com file to show different outputs, e.g. if you typed a bad command, it would normally say "Bad command or filename".  I changed it to "Way to go, stupid!"  I did a few others like that.
A while later after I received a new machine, I overheard someone in our department saying his PC is messed up and is calling him names.  He had my old PC.  Got a good laugh out of that.

9/20/2006 1:39:15 PM EDT
[#38]

Quoted:
Back in the good ole days of DOS, Norton had a hex editor.  I modified my command.com file to show different outputs, e.g. if you typed a bad command, it would normally say "Bad command or filename".  I changed it to "Way to go, stupid!"  I did a few others like that.
A while later after I received a new machine, I overheard someone in our department saying his PC is messed up and is calling him names.  He had my old PC.  Got a good laugh out of that.



Okay, now that's funny.
9/20/2006 1:40:48 PM EDT
[#39]

Quoted:
Back in the good ole days of DOS, Norton had a hex editor.  I modified my command.com file to show different outputs, e.g. if you typed a bad command, it would normally say "Bad command or filename".  I changed it to "Way to go, stupid!"  I did a few others like that.
A while later after I received a new machine, I overheard someone in our department saying his PC is messed up and is calling him names.  He had my old PC.  Got a good laugh out of that.



Man, that brings back memories. I totally forgot you could do that. I remember getting that idea on a BBS I was addicted to (kinda like ARFRCOM, come to think of it...).
9/20/2006 1:44:32 PM EDT
[#40]
What did the Analyst say to the Programmer?
You start coding, I'll go see what they want!

9/20/2006 1:48:28 PM EDT
[#41]

Quoted:
What did the Analyst say to the Programmer?


You start coding, I'll go see what they want!



If you have the right analyst and programmer duo, that approach actually works pretty well.  I am an Analyst for a major defense contractor by the way.
9/20/2006 3:55:27 PM EDT
[#42]
Who is general kernel and what's he want with my hard drive?
9/20/2006 4:04:21 PM EDT
[#43]

Quoted:
Who is general kernel and what's he want with my hard drive?




-Foxxz
9/20/2006 4:12:02 PM EDT
[#44]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Back in the good ole days of DOS, Norton had a hex editor.  I modified my command.com file to show different outputs, e.g. if you typed a bad command, it would normally say "Bad command or filename".  I changed it to "Way to go, stupid!"  I did a few others like that.
A while later after I received a new machine, I overheard someone in our department saying his PC is messed up and is calling him names.  He had my old PC.  Got a good laugh out of that.



Man, that brings back memories. I totally forgot you could do that. I remember getting that idea on a BBS I was addicted to (kinda like ARFRCOM, come to think of it...).


You guys are so new-school. I did that on my TRS-80 Model 4!

[ETA] TRSDOS!
9/20/2006 4:15:42 PM EDT
[#45]
"...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'"

"type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)"

/. apple compiler errors

================================== && the most LoLtastic make run ever./

*ABSOLUTELY UNCHANGED COMPILER RESPONSES*
(from a make of umoria 5.4 on an Apollo...)

[monsoon:umoria] 19} make
cc -O -c main.c
Compiler Errors
99      divide by 0 error: can't find source
033     linker attempting to 'duck tape' this 'gerbil' of a program
cc -O -c misc1.c
Compiler Errors
099     Warning: parser bug confuses : and ; and | at times
088     Warning: pointer passed to pointer; pointer loop
086     sin | more souls >! /dev/hell
cc -O -c misc2.c
Compiler Errors
00      function 'fuckit' not defined
666     you're going to hell for this code style
77      You learned to program in FORTRAN didn't you?
088     Warning: pointer passed to pointer; pointer loop
088     Warning: i before e, except after ;
cc -O -c misc3.c
Compiler Errors
101     can't find library 'stdlib.h'
******** Line 1725 of "misc3.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to mask is never
used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
******** Line 1858 of "misc3.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to mask is never
used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
******** Line 2203 of "misc3.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to flag is never
used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
cc -O -c misc4.c
Compiler Errors
14      parse error: I just don't get it
77      You learned to program in FORTRAN didn't you?
088     Warning: pointer passed to pointer; pointer loop
54      echo > /dev/console < 'mail [email protected] < echo "Idiot coding c"'
1001001 funky
cc -O -c store1.c
Compiler Errors
14      parse error: I just don't get it
042     Alert: this code has holes, check for /dev/moths
77      You learned to program in FORTRAN didn't you?
1906    not a typewriter
******** Line 163 of "store1.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to min_sell is n
ever
        used; assignment eliminated by optimizer.
cc -O -c files.c
Compiler Errors
77      You learned to program in FORTRAN didn't you?
1906    not a typewriter
******** Line 256 of "files.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to nobj is never
used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
******** Line 251 of "files.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to level is never
used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
cc -O -c io.c
Compiler Errors
088     Warning: pointer passed to pointer; pointer loop
1906    not a typewriter
000     cpp says it's hopeless but trying anyway
088     Warning: i before e, except after ;
57      construct '{while i--, c_d(*(i)) == *r; <[op_"*++}' failed
******** Line 1301 of "io.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to y is never used;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
******** Line 1403 of "io.c": [Warning #202]  Value assigned to slen is never us
ed;
        assignment eliminated by optimizer.
cc -O -c create.c
Compiler Errors
666     you're going to hell for this code style
055     trace warning: can't follow vectorized 'sprintf' function
cc -O -c desc.c
Compiler Errors
54      echo > /dev/console < 'mail [email protected] < echo "Idiot coding c"'
055     trace warning: can't follow vectorized 'sprintf' function
cc -O -c generate.c
Compiler Errors
099     Warning: parser bug confuses : and ; and | at times
1       FOAD
033     linker attempting to 'duck tape' this 'gerbil' of a program
055     trace warning: can't follow vectorized 'sprintf' function
cc -O -c sets.c
Compiler Errors
042     Alert: this code has holes, check for /dev/moths
54      echo > /dev/console < 'mail [email protected] < echo "Idiot coding c"'
1001001 funky
cc -O -c dungeon.c
Compiler Errors
666     you're going to hell for this code style
1906    not a typewriter
cc -O -c creature.c
Compiler Errors
099     Warning: parser bug confuses : and ; and | at times
cc -O -c eat.c
Compiler Errors
042     Alert: this code has holes, check for /dev/moths
088     Warning: pointer passed to pointer; pointer loop
57      construct '{while i--, c_d(*(i)) == *r; <[op_"*++}' failed
cc -O -c save.c
Compiler Errors
1       FOAD
101     can't find library 'stdlib.h'
1906    not a typewriter
000     cpp says it's hopeless but trying anyway
0x098ff 0x0ff00 > 0xfffff !! > ?
9/20/2006 5:02:04 PM EDT
[#46]

Quoted:
If you have the right analyst and programmer duo

What is an analyst?
9/20/2006 5:09:53 PM EDT
[#47]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I don't care what language.  Just post something funny.

select * from butt where person_state = 'sitting on toliet'


You go first.



Nice



9/20/2006 5:18:08 PM EDT
[#48]
static void MD5Transform(UINT4         state[4],
                        unsigned char block[64])

 {

 UINT4 a = state[0],
       b = state[1],
       c = state[2],
       d = state[3],
       x[16];

 Decode (x, block, 64);

 /* Round 1 */
 FF (a, b, c, d, x[ 0], S11, 0xd76aa478); /* 1 */
 FF (d, a, b, c, x[ 1], S12, 0xe8c7b756); /* 2 */
 FF (c, d, a, b, x[ 2], S13, 0x242070db); /* 3 */
 FF (b, c, d, a, x[ 3], S14, 0xc1bdceee); /* 4 */
 FF (a, b, c, d, x[ 4], S11, 0xf57c0faf); /* 5 */
 FF (d, a, b, c, x[ 5], S12, 0x4787c62a); /* 6 */
 FF (c, d, a, b, x[ 6], S13, 0xa8304613); /* 7 */
 FF (b, c, d, a, x[ 7], S14, 0xfd469501); /* 8 */
 FF (a, b, c, d, x[ 8], S11, 0x698098d8); /* 9 */
 FF (d, a, b, c, x[ 9], S12, 0x8b44f7af); /* 10 */
 FF (c, d, a, b, x[10], S13, 0xffff5bb1); /* 11 */
 FF (b, c, d, a, x[11], S14, 0x895cd7be); /* 12 */
 FF (a, b, c, d, x[12], S11, 0x6b901122); /* 13 */
 FF (d, a, b, c, x[13], S12, 0xfd987193); /* 14 */
 FF (c, d, a, b, x[14], S13, 0xa679438e); /* 15 */
 FF (b, c, d, a, x[15], S14, 0x49b40821); /* 16 */

 /* Round 2 */
 GG (a, b, c, d, x[ 1], S21, 0xf61e2562); /* 17 */
 GG (d, a, b, c, x[ 6], S22, 0xc040b340); /* 18 */
 GG (c, d, a, b, x[11], S23, 0x265e5a51); /* 19 */
 GG (b, c, d, a, x[ 0], S24, 0xe9b6c7aa); /* 20 */
 GG (a, b, c, d, x[ 5], S21, 0xd62f105d); /* 21 */
 GG (d, a, b, c, x[10], S22,  0x2441453); /* 22 */
 GG (c, d, a, b, x[15], S23, 0xd8a1e681); /* 23 */
 GG (b, c, d, a, x[ 4], S24, 0xe7d3fbc8); /* 24 */
 GG (a, b, c, d, x[ 9], S21, 0x21e1cde6); /* 25 */
 GG (d, a, b, c, x[14], S22, 0xc33707d6); /* 26 */
 GG (c, d, a, b, x[ 3], S23, 0xf4d50d87); /* 27 */
 GG (b, c, d, a, x[ 8], S24, 0x455a14ed); /* 28 */
 GG (a, b, c, d, x[13], S21, 0xa9e3e905); /* 29 */
 GG (d, a, b, c, x[ 2], S22, 0xfcefa3f8); /* 30 */
 GG (c, d, a, b, x[ 7], S23, 0x676f02d9); /* 31 */
 GG (b, c, d, a, x[12], S24, 0x8d2a4c8a); /* 32 */

 /* Round 3 */
 HH (a, b, c, d, x[ 5], S31, 0xfffa3942); /* 33 */
 HH (d, a, b, c, x[ 8], S32, 0x8771f681); /* 34 */
 HH (c, d, a, b, x[11], S33, 0x6d9d6122); /* 35 */
 HH (b, c, d, a, x[14], S34, 0xfde5380c); /* 36 */
 HH (a, b, c, d, x[ 1], S31, 0xa4beea44); /* 37 */
 HH (d, a, b, c, x[ 4], S32, 0x4bdecfa9); /* 38 */
 HH (c, d, a, b, x[ 7], S33, 0xf6bb4b60); /* 39 */
 HH (b, c, d, a, x[10], S34, 0xbebfbc70); /* 40 */
 HH (a, b, c, d, x[13], S31, 0x289b7ec6); /* 41 */
 HH (d, a, b, c, x[ 0], S32, 0xeaa127fa); /* 42 */
 HH (c, d, a, b, x[ 3], S33, 0xd4ef3085); /* 43 */
 HH (b, c, d, a, x[ 6], S34,  0x4881d05); /* 44 */
 HH (a, b, c, d, x[ 9], S31, 0xd9d4d039); /* 45 */
 HH (d, a, b, c, x[12], S32, 0xe6db99e5); /* 46 */
 HH (c, d, a, b, x[15], S33, 0x1fa27cf8); /* 47 */
 HH (b, c, d, a, x[ 2], S34, 0xc4ac5665); /* 48 */

 /* Round 4 */
 II (a, b, c, d, x[ 0], S41, 0xf4292244); /* 49 */
 II (d, a, b, c, x[ 7], S42, 0x432aff97); /* 50 */
 II (c, d, a, b, x[14], S43, 0xab9423a7); /* 51 */
 II (b, c, d, a, x[ 5], S44, 0xfc93a039); /* 52 */
 II (a, b, c, d, x[12], S41, 0x655b59c3); /* 53 */
 II (d, a, b, c, x[ 3], S42, 0x8f0ccc92); /* 54 */
 II (c, d, a, b, x[10], S43, 0xffeff47d); /* 55 */
 II (b, c, d, a, x[ 1], S44, 0x85845dd1); /* 56 */
 II (a, b, c, d, x[ 8], S41, 0x6fa87e4f); /* 57 */
 II (d, a, b, c, x[15], S42, 0xfe2ce6e0); /* 58 */
 II (c, d, a, b, x[ 6], S43, 0xa3014314); /* 59 */
 II (b, c, d, a, x[13], S44, 0x4e0811a1); /* 60 */
 II (a, b, c, d, x[ 4], S41, 0xf7537e82); /* 61 */
 II (d, a, b, c, x[11], S42, 0xbd3af235); /* 62 */
 II (c, d, a, b, x[ 2], S43, 0x2ad7d2bb); /* 63 */
 II (b, c, d, a, x[ 9], S44, 0xeb86d391); /* 64 */

 state[0] += a;
 state[1] += b;
 state[2] += c;
 state[3] += d;

  MD5_memset ((POINTER)x, 0, sizeof (x));
}
9/20/2006 5:31:22 PM EDT
[#49]

Quoted:

Quoted:
If you have the right analyst and programmer duo

What is an analyst?


You will get different answers to that question depending on who you ask.

Basically we interface with the customer to (try) and determine what their functional requirements are for an application.  We write the functional and technical requirements and pass them to the developers.  We are by definition the referee between the testers, developers, program managers and developers during the development and testing process.  

There are many facets to the job, but mostly it's just meetings, briefings and banging on a keyboard all day.  The pay is very good, but the hours suck sometimes.
9/20/2006 11:24:02 PM EDT
[#50]

Quoted:
c: enter : ###


Hmmmm... That one sounds vaguely familiar...
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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Geeky code humor (Page 1 of 2)