FOX news
SHUT UP!! THE TRUTH IS AT HANDICAPPEDHERBIVORESFORBIRTHCONTROL.ORG!!!! I TAKE IT YOU HAVEN'T READ "HYPOCRISY RULES: CAPITALISM, TORTURE AND OCCUPATION IN THIS ADMINISTRATION," BY JACQUES CHIRAC!!!!! IT'S LIKE 1945 ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!! UNLIKE YOU AND BILL KRISTOL, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH POLLUTION!!!!!! THE REPUGNANTANS STOLE THE SO-CALLED ELECTION BY DEFORESTING THE OUTSPOKEN VOTERS IN GUANTANAMO, JUST LIKE ARIEL SHARON HELPED OUR LYING PRIMATE TO STEAL FREE MONEY FROM THE HOMOSEXUAL BUNNY RABBITS (WHILE THE IVORY INDUSTRY HAPPILY SAT ON THE SIDELINES, AS A MATTER OF FACT)!!!!! POWER TO THE RAINFORESTS!!!!!!! I SEE, I AM NOT ONE OF KENNETH STARR'S ORDER OF EVANGELICAL STABLEHANDS!!! SINCE 1990, SEVERAL PRO-CHOICE MINORITIES HAVE BEEN STUNG IN LOS ANGELES!!!!!!!! WE'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE, IN 1990 IN VIEQUES, WHEN 35,410 LATINO STUDENTS WERE IMPOVERISHED BY THE PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY!!!! GEORGE W(ARMONGER) BUSH LIED ABOUT THAT TOO!!! (OR IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!!!!!!!?) THOSE BASTARDS!!!! GOSH, WHEN THE SEXISTS SAY "DEMOCRACY," THEY REALLY MEAN "GRAFT"!!!!!! WHEN THEY SAY "VALUES," YOU KNOW IT IS JUST A CODE WORD FOR "COLONIALISM"!! WE DEMAND THE U.S. GET OUT OF FINLAND IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Holy shit!  You have to play with the "Options"!
Autorantic Virtual Moonbat Live Chat Module, version 0.5, by Sean Gleeson
http://sean.gleeson.us/
Send correspondence to [email protected].
QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Is the AVM a "he" or a "she"?
It thinks gender is a social construct, and will be extremely offended if you assign it a sex. So, go ahead and do it.
Does it matter what I type?
Not much. Other than occasionally sneering at some word or phrase it doesn't like, the AVM largely ignores all inputs, and rants about topics at random, just like a real moonbat.
What other improvements are you planning?
I'm always adding hilarious new phrases to the autorantic programming, taken directly from the rants of real moonbats.
Can I put this gizmo on my own website?
Yes. Keep reading, down to the "FOR WEBMASTERS" section.
Can you make this thing smaller, so it will fit in my sidebar or something? A miniaturized version is available! Click here to see the sidebar module in action.
FOR WEBMASTERS
To put this Autorantic Virtual Moonbat live chat module on your website, just add the line of code below:
<iframe src="http://blog.gleeson.us/avm/avm_live_chat" width="360" height="210" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
You won't have to change this code when I make upgraded versions. It will always show the latest published version.
THE OPTIONS EXPLAINED
VERBOSITY: Would you prefer droning or non-droning? At the lowest verbosity level, "Terse," you'll be lucky to get anything more than a pleasantry such as "Shove it." At the highest, "Doctoral Thesis," you're guaranteed to get at least a manifesto-length rant. There are five levels inbetween, including "Chatty" and "Loquacious."
EXTRA ENEMY: The AVM rants about many noteworthy personages, such as Karl Rove and Ann Coulter. Wouldn't you like to be in such august company? Write your name in this field, and thrill to read rants condemning you personally, in no uncertain terms. Like, if your name is "Abner Doubleday," the moonbat will every now and then say things like, "Obviously, Abner Doubleday is nothing but a tool of the whaling industry!!" You can beam with pride as you reply, "I had no idea it was so obvious."
EXCITABILITY: A quality I call "excitability" manifests itself in the abuse of punctuation and capitalization. At the lowest setting, "Frigid," the deviously soft-spoken moonbat will never, ever use an exclamation pont, nor will you see any entirely capitalized words; it will actually be jarring to see such ridiculous babble written so neatly, unless you read Joe Klein regularly. At the highest setting, "Stark Raving," every single letter is capitalized, and the exclamation points can be stacked up to eight high, the way Linda Ronstadt would write if she could write. |
|
