Posted: 8/26/2005 10:31:46 AM EDT
| I've got this strange little bump on my face. It's not there all the time. Actually, it only appears maybe once a month. Once it does appear, it goes away in about 15 minutes. It's just a red bump. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't itch. WTF? |
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Some parasites do that as they crawl around under one’s skin. They are not much of a problem until they decide to burrow into your eyeball. Have you ever been to north east Asia or ate raw or undercooked river fish? It is probably nothing but I would go to a doctor just in case. |
Awesome, my hammer was getting worn. We can set up shop in the garage! |
Deal! I finish residency on Wednesday, then we'll get started on the inevitable rush of clients to... ARFCOM Same-Day Walk-in Doc-in-the-Box and Pie Emporium! (Pie not available in restricted states) |
Stay away from a mirror? |
 the bitching we will get.
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Use caution. It's reported that the bastage uses an over-sized METAL speculum that he keeps icy cold in the frige. You can usually locate his office by listening for the blood curdling screams coming from it. 
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The funny part is that my ARFCOM fantasy football team name is the FROZEN SPECULUMS!
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I used to frequent science fiction conventions. They usually have some form of costume contest. My character was going to be "Doctor Will C. Yunowe, Gynecologist" I was going to wear a white lab coat, with only heart-printed boxers on underneath; one of the old "Marcus Welby" type reflector headbands; big black (concrete / chemical worker's) gloves; and a bovine /equine speculum (18")  in a 5 gallon bucket filled with dry ice with "Chilling Jar" emblazoned on it.  Half of the women I asked about this said they'd stand up, cheer, and shout "THAT'S MY DOC!"  The other half said I'd never make it off the stage alive.  
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