Posted: 6/20/2005 8:46:33 PM EDT
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I know the collective mind at ARFCOM has heard just about every joke, but I thought I'd share these. Not to mention it seems like the mood could be lightened a little. Feel free to delete if these offend anyone.  A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the Sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - dead. Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead. Third worm in sperm - dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. So the Minister asked the congregation, "What can you learn from this demonstration? A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms. A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming. He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized. "Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store. The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children! " Then he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he thought but, MAYBE....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk and had wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of everyone?" "No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's second grade teacher!" |
Here's another.  Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave His best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, he then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday." The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own Construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion." The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned From the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons....What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends." |
