Posted: 6/20/2005 8:48:26 AM EDT
I am sure that no one cares, and I am sorry for wasting time and board space, but damnit, I just got shit on by a bird for the second time in two days. On Friday I was teaching Self-Aid Buddy Care in a hangar where I am stationed, and at the end of the day as we were cleaning up a bird shit on my right shoulder. Then, as I got home for lunch and walked under a tree in my drive-way a bird shit on my left shoulder. I am about to buy myself a fucking high-powered air rifle. This shit is pissing me off. My other set of BDU's that have my unit patches sewn on them is at the cleaners, so now I have to wear bird shit for the rest of the day. I guess I can clean it off in the sink. At least it blends in to the camo pattern.  Fucking stupid birds. I think I will try and rig a nice little suprise in the nest on my porch with the squib connected to one of my motion detectors. I don't think base housing people will like that too much though. I would blow that shit up if their weren't babies/eggs in it. So how can I kill some birds in my yard without blowing up parts of my porch/endagering bystanders/shooting pellets into the air (at the tree)? I want to do it in a fun way and get some revenge, no poisoning my wifes bird feeders...actually, that could be fun too. 
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Cats are no fun. Cats are worse then birds, plus, I want to have some challenge here. What kind of poison would work well in a bird feeder? I wonder if they would eat rat poison. Haha, I wonder how long it would take my wife to figure out why there are dead birds all around the bird feeders. She would be so pissed off at me. That just feels evil, shooting them would seem better, because then its sport .
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I might look into that. I just wonder if that would be considered discharging a firearm. I think my neighbors would freak out. Everybody is always outside now that it is summer time. I would have to have some night vision too and do it at like three in the morning. |
My cat is awesome, but ok...no cats. How about falconry? You could train a falcon to attack, kill and bring back the offending birds. It would be fucking awesome. |
Around here, even using an air rifle is considered discharging a firearm. Check your local laws. |
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That sucks headspace, at least they didn't shit on my head. Man I would have been ticked. Maybe I will just put on a ghillie (SP?) suit and climbe the tree and wait for some unsuspecting birds to come within machete range. Haha. Little bastards. I have noticed that during the night-time birds will not run from you, they just freeze. I have one nest about a foot away from my front-door, during the day the bird always hauls-ass when I walk by, but at night he just freezes, even if I get REAL close. I guess it is their instict, and it works for the most part, cause I held up my weiner dog right to the thing and he couldn't spot it. Most animals probably see mostly by movement at night (especially dogs because their color blind.) So maybe at night time I can nab some of their asses. I like the falcon idea SHEISLEGEND. But I don't have that kind of time right now. That would be awesome though. I wish they made some kind of high-powered cork-gun (with CO2 or something). One that was strong enough to kill or hit birds so hard that they fall out of their spot and are dazed/injured enough on the ground that you can go get them. That way, the cork would stop at the end of the line and wouldn't be a danger to anyone. I am sure you could get a line stong and light enough to allow a cork to fly a good 25 feet at a high enough velocity. Anyone know of anything like this? Maybe I need to build one!! |
SHEISLEGEND is my fiance. 
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Pretty cool, my wife is into firearms and survival. Not enough to have an AR15 account though. Congratulations to both of you! EDITED TO ADD: I've got it!! What type of battery would I need to electrocute some bird nests? I wonder if that is a possibility. Or I can get a taser gun! That would be kick-ass. I wonder if I could learn to shoot it accurately enough. Anybody have any ideas for killing birds in city limits (fun ways)? Lets make a list. Taser gun Blow gun High-powered cork gun? electricity poison-bird feeders (I don't know if this would qualify as fun, too easy) primer only .22 rounds (if you can get away with it) air rifle (if you can get away with it) paint-ball gun? (too messy) falcons Nothing that would just wound them and then they would get away though, a blow gun might have this problem |
She doesn't post. I just made an account for her and refer to her as that because it's a derivative of my screen name and it's better than always saying "my fiance" every time I am talking about her. - a thrown, weighted net - one of those fake owls that scares birds away Fake Owl "ULTIMATE AERIAL PREDATOR Great Horned Owl: the most-feared predator catches and eats almost anything that moves, including pigeons, starlings, geese, rodents, rabbits, squirrels and even skunks." |
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worked at an old powerhouse, built in 1906. it had lots of old catwalks, girders, coal bins, and tons of pigeons. co-worker and i had "shift pellet guns", and would sneak way up to no-mans territory to shoot the bastards. i shot one, it took a last , desperate flight, shitting and bleeding out all at the same time. i got hit with both, from one shoulder to the other, with liberal amounts on my head, some down my back. co-worker got some blood in a slightly open mouth; man, did he come some seriously close to a major stomach contents launch.  had to make immediate retreat to take a shower and get in a fresh set of work clothes. bastards can make a real mess sometimes. |