[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sorry.....update on 12. (Page 1 of 8)
Posted: 5/15/2005 3:13:48 AM EDT
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My wife and I are due for new cell phones. Our contract is up and we get $100 towards new ones. My wife wanted me to look into our options. I went to Verizions web site and registered. I signed in and our info pops up. I thought this was neat so I was browsing through all the info that was available. I noticed some number under my wife's phone I didn't recognize. No big deal until I seen it all the way down the page. Most calls last 1 minute. These calls are all around a half an hour. I start checking the times and dates. They are times when my wife is on her way to work, on lunch, or on her way home. Odd my number is always the number she calls instantly afterwards. I google the number and get a guys name on the other end of Columbus. I went back one month and I stopped to come here. She is upstairs in bed still. I am shacking so bad I don't know what to do. If anyone knows me from my posts I have a lot of problems. I don't need this. So what does it sound like to you? |
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Oh man, tough call (no pun intended). Kinda hard NOT to be suspicious here, eh? You have a few options: 1 - Confront her and hope she fesses up, but she probably won't and will come up with an excuse 2 - Ignore it and assume it is nothing 3 - Hire a Private Investigator (if you do, immediately begin taking measures re: firearms, finances, credit cards, etc. to protect yourself, and put a divorce lawyer on retainer) 4 - Find out yourself - either camp out where this dude lives and see if wife visits, or if you can find a trusted female friend who can reasonably imitate the wife's voice, call him from a moving car with the window down (background noise to muffle the fact that it isn't your wife) and have the fake wife say something like, "Hey, its me - what's up?" and see what transpires. Above all, DO NOT leave any evidence on the computer regarding any of this. |
Whew!  I remember that feeling youve got in your stomach right now.Its not a nice one either. I hope you can at least get a straight answer from her.Best of luck. If she is running around,keep civil about it.Dont let some whores mistake force you to make a bigger one.Think a few years down the road..........not just a few days or hours. Hopefully it IS just inocent calls. But brother Ive been there ,right where your at,only to find damning evidence,so it makes me shudder ,even now,10 years+ later. |
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With all the crap that we have seen on arfcom about how women have royally fucked up our member's lives, I'm surprised at some the responses. Sounds to me like every time she leaves the house, the office for lunch, or coming home she needs to call this person. I'm sure you know her friends, etc. - perhaps a simple "telemarketing" call to this house, ask for the lady of the house, yak about some special cruise for married couples, etc. - anything to get SOME info out of the man or woman in the house to see if they are married, etc. - if JUST a man lives there, you are in DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Again, I would investigate this surreptitiously first before asking her about it. If you ask her, she'll either lie, get all pissed off that you were "spying" on her, etc. If it is innocent, you could be in for a world of hurting due to the spying and lack of trust. If she IS screwing around, though, and you confront her she may spring a divorce on you before you have a chance to prepare yourself. RECON RECON RECON - do it! |
Either that or ask if they need to be added to the "friends and family" plan! (Or the "Just fucking friends" plan?) |
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I had this feeling before. I was right and I ended up divorced. This is my second wife. I don't need to wait on the bill, I can print it out. I just went looking again, it goes back about a month and a half. I know all her friends. She used to call me as soon as she got off. Now I see she calls this number first and calls me after. I have asked her recently why she hasn't called sooner. Dead battery, tired, talking to her mom, all just proven not true. When I used to look backat my ex wife's situation I wished I did the recon work. Now I have a second chance but I can't wait. Perfect timing. I start a new job tomorrow and I will be gone nights while she is alone. Great way to start. |
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I hope you don't get a lame excuse...or an outright defensive "it's none of your business". As has been said many times before, moving guns to a safe haven may be prudent, just in case it escalates. I have been there...not my idea of fun. I hope there is a satisfactory explanation...either way keep a cool head. |
Then you already know the answer.
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Well, if that's the case then I think you already know what the deal is. Sorry brother. Good luck to you and like anothergene said, keep a cool head no matter what turns up. |
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Print out the statements. If the phone is in her name(primary) than she can block your access. Then set up a date w/ a counsler<sp>. If she is then there is someone to help keep things from escalating. Maybe it's nothing? Remember watch the temper! Get the guns out of the house! Sell them to a buddy you trust for a dollar. |
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www.anywho.com/rl.html lookup the phone number and see who it belongs to. |
The best way to handle it is to confront sooner, rather than later. That way, stress and animosity don't build up. Do not avoid this thinking it will go away. You know better than that, ESPECIALLY after reading some of the threads here. |
With all t he other stuff, 3AM-4AM calls are suspicious. |
yeah
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Why confront her now? If you are right, then you might be unprepared for the post-confrontation shitstorm. Do some recon and, if it is the worst, take a couple of weeks to prepare (guns moved, counsulations will the bigtime D attys, monies frozen). If it is innocent, then no harm, no foul. Just don't even let her think that you were "checking up on her." Good luck. |
Agreed. Do this at a better time. To add to the things to look for - new clothes, trips to the hair dresser, working out ... any change in her normal routine. I'd call the number and pose as a salesman calling for the lady of the house and if the dude says that there isn't one 
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I can't believe people here want him to line up a divorce attorney before even speaking to her about this. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce - no damn communication
Because once he confronts her, he gives all of the power to her and his life could be ruined in a matter of days. My point is to get more info then plan a bit before the impending drama. My guess (and hope) is that it is an overreacation. |
Perhaps, but that is no way to handle this. It's his wife. Ask her. And then have a serious plan for moving on ASAP. I agree with asking her but this sounds FUBAR'd. |
Look, I agree that from what we have seen on this board some dudes have been screwed WAYYYY over. But a innocent-sounding question about some phone calls can reveal alot. Seeing a divorce attorney could be a very bad thing too. A scorched-earth policy based upon some numbers on a sheet of paper can make divorce a self-fufilling prophecy. Communication is key, even if it very crafty communication. |
I am assuming that there is a bit more to this story. SS wouldn't be panicing over some phone numbers unless something else has tipped him off. He said that his spidey sense was going off on this one. Most guys in a LTR tend to become fairly oblivious to these kinds of things, so the fact that SS is freaked makes me think that something else is amiss. |
Only if hes slow about it. I went through the same thing. My wife wasnt even out of bed yet and I had contacted friends and arranged to have the important stuff moved. Then I confronted her. Its a matter of speed. You dont confront her, find out the truth then sit on your ass moping for the next week. You place a few stragetic pre emptive strike phone calls to some buddies to get the "GO" lined up if it needs to be, then confront her. If its cool, then cool. Stand down. If its not cool, then go. In my case, within 1 hour I had all arrangements made to be out of the house within 6 hours. I confronted her. Found out what happened, felt like a horses ass, and stood down. Had it not been "cool", I could have had my important stuff out of the house within hours, and been FULLY removed from the house within 24 hours. Its not about ask first or talk to an attorney first, its about once you take that first step, you dont walk. You run. Dont sit around on your ass moping. Confront, then TAKE ACTION NOW. |