Posted: 1/12/2005 3:14:40 AM EDT
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What does Snoop Dog use to wash his clothes in? Bleotch 
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a gecko lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have some joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. The croc asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard tells the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. Then he explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. The croc looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says "FU-U-U-U-UCK, DUDE....... how much water did you DRINK?" |
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A man and a woman were driving down a back road in the middle of a terrible snow storm. Seeing an object moving in the road, the man skidded to a stop and got out to investigate. He returned moments later with a nearly frozen skunk, barely alive. "Here", he said handing the skunk to the woman, "put him between your legs to warm him up." "What about the smell?" she asked. "Cover his nose and he should be okay." The man replied. 
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 That one hit me just right. |