[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I hate dating (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/1/2005 10:33:09 PM EDT
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Its like you find a girl you like, you get her in a restaurant with me and things go south and get really awkward, i just get nervous start saying stupid stuff. I always fuck up the timing on things too. |
If she's the one, it wouldn't matter if things went south and got really awkward, OR you saying stupid stuff. It would work out anyway. Don't try to force it. Just relax and enjoy the company (or the meal if the company is bad). Don't worry about having to impress her or fill in every pause in the conversation. If you hit it off, you hit it off, and those things don't matter. If you don't, chalk it up as a lesson and move on. |
I never said my theory was bulletproof!!  vmax84 Seriously, I do pretty good when I'm joking around with them, and fall on my ass when I'm serious/woosy with them. Mix in a little joking with being a little cocky and I seem to do pretty well. But then, chicks dig pilots anyway!!! They all want to go visit the "mile high" club. 
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| One more thing--if you can, get girls to go do something with you and your buddies and their girls. More people eases up the pressure on both of you and lets you act naturally. Just make sure once you get to know her you send the friends packing and make time just for you and her. |
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It's not like you asked her out, she showed up and you spent 20 minutes pounding down 4 beers when she turned out to have only traits that you despise in a person. I said "I'm sorry we just aren't going to have any fun together, but thanks for coming out" paid the bill and ran like hell. |
Why are you taking her out to eat? It only sets the precident of you buying her things in exchange for her attention. Why get nervous about a girl? You are putting too much pressure on yourself "trying to do everything perfect". Of course you are going to blow it. If she doesn't like what you have to say there are plenty of others out there. Don't stress out over any particular girl, you'll both be better off. The only power a girl has over you is the power you give her. You really need to read and get the book in my sig line. Then you need to follow it. You will be much better off. |
WTF??
Listen more than talk. This is the secret grasshopper. Women love to hear themselves talk, so let them. Just nod and smile and insert simple, non-fuckupable questions or comments so they know you're listening. If you ever get married you'll become a master of it. S.O. |
| Don't take her to a restaraunt until 2-3 dates. Take her for a drive or a hike, etc. When you do finally go out to eat, then you'll have something to talk about (hopefully). Look on the bright side: unless you're a total dick wad, there is a girl out there for you. If you're lucky, you'll get to screw10-20 girls until you find the right one. Oh yeah, and take pictures. |
Geez, I say stupid stuff all the time, make myself look like an ass at times, oh and always say the most inappropriate things at the wrong times. But I am well liked and loved for all of my quirks. I guess I am either really likable or just too damn adorable to be mad at. YMMV but just be yourself. I found out if you create an person that you try to be it will just bite you in the ass when they find out. That's why I always be myself. They can either like me or not. No skin off my nose. Thanks Arvin |
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Key to success: ask her about herself. Not prying questions, just questions that let her talk about herself, her job, her hobbies, her likes, etc. People love to hear themselves talk, you'll learn good info about her, and she will appreciate you for listening. Oh, and there is a BIG difference between "Listening" and "waiting for your turn to talk" |
DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER! This is exactly the problem. You care too much about what you say & do... Be smooth, casual, and let things progress at their natural pace. Don't try to "time" anything... If it is going to happen, it will happen in its own due time. Vmax84 knows this as he's been back on the dating scene for, what?, about a year or so now, isn't it? Hope the family life with the daughter(s) is still going great, Vmax! I hope those prayers worked out for you this past year... I've been on the dating scene for the past 4 years now since my last BIG relationship went south. It's tough dating because it's hard to find that special someone you'd like to spend the rest of your life with... But when U find her that makes her all that much more special. Keep trying, eventually things will go your way.
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From what I have seen if you treat a woman like shit she will love you forever. Smack her around every once in a while and you will get oral copulation. Treat her like a queen and you don't stand a chance. That is the way to find just a girl. You want a wife and the rules do not apply. |
| For the first date or two how about trying a walk in the park, coffee or drinks or something you can end easily. If it goes south, beg off with some excuse and never call again. As an olf friend used to say, "You can't polish a turd." Don't force what ain't working. |
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Wow, great memory!!!!!!!!! Yeah, been out on my own for a little bit now. Things are really starting to get back to some type of normalcy (sp). Having a lot of fun with my two daughters (I have 50% physical and joint custody of them), still working out and running, and have been dating an old high school sweetheart for about 6 months now. Yeah, I'm finally getting myself back together after the divorce. Been a long, painful, learning experience. For me, when it comes with the ladies, is to simply "have fun" with them. Joke around with them, make them laugh, tease them a little, be confident, maybe a little cocky at times, and be able to walk away from them and don't look back. Women it seems are attracted to guys that have fun, are fun to be around, confident, strong (mentally............guess the physical part doesn't hurt, either!!), know where they are going, etc. I feel as if I've found a pretty good mix on what works and what doesn't. Be yourself and just have fun with them. If it doesn't work with them, piss on it........lots of womenz' out there!!!!!!!!! Good luck, man. vmax84 Plus, I received a lot of help from the boys here on getting my life back. Lots of encouragement which helped me immensely. |
"There's always that..." You'd be amazed how well things work out when you truly and honestly don't give a shit about getting laid or getting a girlfriend. It's not so much that I had given up, but after I dated this one girl and it ended on a down note I pretty much said "f*** it" and applied that energy toward other things and BAM... without even knowing how it happened I was in a good relationship with what turned out to be my current wife. Things just work out wen they work out. If you try to keep tight control that part of your life you're going to run into problems. Just let it happen. |
Quoted: My only advice is, stop dating, spend all of your dating budget on mags, ammo, and more guns. This is the only guaranteed way to end up happy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +1 and there's the Venezeula, Brazil, Argentina, Russia, Ukraine, Czech Republic, etc. option also   |
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One of my hero's told me about women which I've never forgot. He flew B-29's in WW2, B-50's in Korea, had his entire crew killed by a Mig which strafed their ass with cannon fire while flying the B-50, was able to land (crash land) the bomber with significant wounds to himself with his entire crew all shot to hell and dead, flew corporate for 35 years after that and survived all of the above.........when this man talks, I listen since I feel honored to be in the same room with him. This is his simple logic with women and life in general: "Steve, be like the crocodile. You see, the crocodile has survived for millions and millions of years by simply smiling (the crocodile smile) and having a thick skin. When people piss you off, when women get you down, when life in general doesn't seem to be going your way, smile like the crocodile and let all that shit bounce off your thick hide like the crocodile." I have adopted this simple philosophy in my life...........works pretty good for me. Just smile and let the shit bounce off ya' and press on.  vmax84 |
Thems some good words |