Posted: 12/24/2004 9:29:42 PM EDT
I'm listening to one of Santa's gifts that arrived early - a Pro-95 police band scanner and a call goes out to fire rescue for "help removing handcuffs" and gives the cross streets, apartment complex name, and apartment number. Merry Christmas indeed ... someone has a new pair of cuffs. FYI get an extra key and tape it behind the head board of your bed. 
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I have been called twice to remove handcuffs when I was on the street. One was on a child...the metal play type that take the big key...they were pre-ban ones without the manual release. I had to actually run home and get a key for these. I got ribbed pretty hard for having a key for them...but hey...someone gave me a set of "fuzzy cuffs" as a gift..and they key was the same. Second was a set of real cuffs...no exciting story...guys playing around and locked buddy to porch and relized they didnt' have a key. (regular standard cuffs) |
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My dad owns and operates a security alarm company. Whenever he's on call, he comes back with the weirdest stories. Two of the best: A pawn shop alarm goes off. He gets sent to shut it off once the cops clear the premises as safe and free of criminals. When he shows up, he notices two squad cars with three cops standing next to them watching the front door of the pawn shop. The glass in the door is broken, and there is a stack of clothing on one side and several items from the shop on the other. He asks what's going on, and one of the cops says "shhh, watch this. We've been here fifteen minutes, you gotta see this." After a few moments, a naked guy squeezes through the bars, deposits an armload of stolen goods in the pile outside, squeezes through the bars again, and goes back inside the shop for another load. The cops had been there for fifteen minutes watching him and he hadn't noticed. They were trying not to laugh out loud when they arrested him. Turns out he had broken the glass to break in, but couldn't quite fit through the bars, then hit upon the brilliant idea of taking off his clothes in order to fit. It worked, and he proceeds to spend the next twenty minutes of so walking naked through broken glass, squeezing through bars, and making a stack of stolen goods outside, most of that time being watched by cops busy trying not to bust a gut. The other really good one was a store whose alarm kept going off, the cops would come to check it out, find nobody and no signs of break in, and leave, only to get dragged back when it went off again ten minutes later. Finally they called my dad to shut the alarm off until they could figure out what the problem was. When they went inside, they discovered the alarm was legitimate. A young thief had gotten the brilliant idea of sneaking into the store after-hours by crawling through the air ducts, just like in the movies! He was a skinny little bastard, so he managed to get partway inside before getting stuck. Only his leg was sticking out into the room, and he tripped the motion detector by accident the first time. After that, he kept his waving his leg to set off the alarm so somebody, even the cops, would rescue him from the air duct. It had a set 10 minute interval between alarms (once it goes off and is shut down at the central station, it can't go off again for 10 minutes), so it would only go off every ten minutes and bring the cops out there, who couldn't see his leg dangling from the wall while peering through the windows. They ended up having to cut him out of there and, since he was a minor and had spent nearly an hour trapped inside the air vent, the store owner was content with him spending the night in jail and leaving it at that. |
Back in my R&R days...  I had this hot red headed GF that worked at the same warehouse with me. I was driving a beat-up Dodge Aspen with a pair of cheapo handcuffs hanging from the rear view mirror. We went out and were coming back from our lunch break, and she decides to cuff herself to the mirror. It went down something like.. "No!" <click>, "Don't do that" (too late). "I don't have the key".  .I had to drive a few miles with her wrist locked on to my rear view mirror until we got back to the workplace where I was able to remove the mirror with an allen wrench and pick the handcuff lock with a paper clip (I had done it before just for shits and giggles). This was the same broad that when her even worse POS car wouldn't start, and I told her she needed a new battery, reached into the glove box, handed me a package of flashlight batterys and said to me "Are these the right size"? 
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