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AR15.COM
3/29/2004 4:43:12 PM EDT
to not have any emotions when something bad happens to someone you know?  Someone you once loved but this person put you through a lot of misery and pain?  When I say bad, I mean as in terminal illness.  I feel really guilty, but I have no compassion for this person at all.
3/29/2004 4:47:32 PM EDT
[#1]
Forget about it.


I can think of one persons future terminal illness that would not bother me as much as it would have a long time ago.

Its the way of things.
3/29/2004 4:49:42 PM EDT
[#2]
No.

Some may tell you it's time to forgive.  Somethings you can't forgive. You'll feel better with yourself in the long run if you are comfortable with your decision.

That said, if you can avoid hurting others, especially close family members, close to you by reconciling or appearing to reconcile, you might do so.  For example explaining to your parent or siblings that you want nothing to do with a near relative may cause more hurt and aggravation to all than is necessary.
3/29/2004 4:55:25 PM EDT
[#3]
i have the same problem concerning my ex. If i found out tomorrow she was on deaths door it wouldn't phase me in the least. Sometimne bad things happen to bad people.

mike
3/29/2004 5:05:47 PM EDT
[#4]
There are a number of people I feel and have felt this way about. I figure they were getting the famous "Just Rewards". Hopefully, if they make it through the bad times, they learn something and make a better person of themselves. If they don't -- Oh well. I don't give a shit. They've been written off and as far as I am concerned might as well have never existed.
3/29/2004 5:08:18 PM EDT
[#5]
Forget about it....

What you are feeling is 100% normal.

You can be there to support the others around them if you want...but you don't even have to do that.

Sgtar15
3/29/2004 5:41:54 PM EDT
[#6]
Ogre_4070, Your lack of feeling is not unusual at all. After the person is gone you may feel varying   degrees of guilt if you do not make some effort to show compassion for this person.

Do something compassionate to help them when they need it most regardless of your true feeling. After they are gone you will feel better about the whole thing and about yourself.

Just my two cents worth.
3/29/2004 5:50:00 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
to not have any emotions when something bad happens to someone you know?  Someone you once loved but this person put you through a lot of misery and pain?  When I say bad, I mean as in terminal illness.  I feel really guilty, but I have no compassion for this person at all.
View Quote


It could be a defense mechanism. It's not that you have no compassion for her, but you aren't allowing her to rule your emotions anymore.

Sometimes, it's easier to choose to feel nothing, than having to feel everything.

YMMV,
Dave
Husband of a severe psychiatric patient who hasn't been home for 2 years, so far.


3/29/2004 5:50:17 PM EDT
[#8]
Obviously you weren't here when it was announced that Sarah Brady is terminal with lung cancer.  [:D]

Oh, it's normal.  If they did you dirty, you should stop just short of openly gloating.  [;)]
3/29/2004 9:29:01 PM EDT
[#9]
Thanks, guys.  I think I feel worse about not having any sympathy for this guy than I do knowing he doesn't have long to live.  I can forgive him for what he did to me but he also hurt people that I care about more than myself, and for that I don't think I can ever forgive him.  I really believe he deserves whatever he has to go through.  I just find it very difficult to even care and that bothers me on some level.