Posted: 1/24/2004 1:56:52 AM EDT
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I'm in "trust but verify" mode with my daughter, based on her on-line activity. She has been IM-ing and emailing a boy, and I want to discreetly check him out. Right now, all I have is his email address and IM screen name. Suggestions? I don't mind spending a few bucks, if I have to. Thanks. |
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Quoted: What's the need for secrets. Have the daughter get the boy's name and phone number and call his mom and talk and make sure it's all ok. My first thought, too. It's your house, your computer. It's like inviting a boy home. Just ask her, "Who is he"?? How old is the daughter? |
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Quoted: She's 15. She hasn't mentioned anything about him, yet, and doesn't know that I know about him. Haven't asked her because [red]I still want to appear to be the all-knowing king of her existence[/red]...for a few more years anyway. I'm betting, she already knows the truth....[:D] |
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Trust me, you daughter know the truth about you being "all-knowing". ANyways, I had a similar situation and I asked my son who he was talking to on the net. He replied it was none of my business. Well....needless to say he learned real quick that EVRYTHING that happens under this roof (and sometimes outside) is my business. Sgtar15 |
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Quoted: There are a number of descrete programs that you can install on your computer to monitor and record everything done by your daughter. Ditto, and short of having a subpoena or a court order to get the subscriber information from his IP address, you really don't have many options, other than to do as others have already stated. Ask her. I bet if you were able to just elude to knowing more, like what they have been talking about, you could still be the "all knowing" dad. Will it piss her off? Maybe; but it's your house, your computer (you paid for it right?) If she refuses to tell you, you can alway unplug it and cut him off. If she calls him on the phone, you have a better chance of figuring out who he is. |
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depending on the IM program, most have profiles for users that they can fill out... and sometimes their profiles lead to their web pages or journals. if its yahoo instant messenger, then it would be profiles.yahoo.com/usernamehere if its aim just right click on the name, and choose profile, same with most IM proggies. |
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You know your daughter best, it's all in your approach on whether or not she talks to you. Note, there are hard and easy ways of making her talk. In this age of predators online, its your duty to know who she's talking to. Bring it up nonchalantly, and if that doesn't work... beat it out of her! [;)] (that was a joke!). Hopefully it's just some kid from school and not some person she never met trying to prey upon her innocence! (we'll all back you up if it's the latter!!!!) The bottom line is that you have not only the right, but the responsibility/obligation of [b][u]KEEPING HER SAFE[/b][/u] and that's what you should tell her. It's might come across better than an ultimatum, and if it fails, you can always bring out the big guns (the ultimatum). Just My Humble Opinion. |
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FatMan; Being the father of a 17 year old daughter, I can only say this...It gets worse. Also have a 16 year old son, thats the low maintenance one. As Paul said,many programs out there, keystroke counter is one of them, also, walk in the room discretely while they are IM each other, and tell her you want to see whats being said. I found that it's o.k. to piss them off if they give us reason for suspicion. You can still remain the Omnipotent one, but don't be overly cautious of upsetting her over what could be a very serious situation. Mike |
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Quoted: She's 15. She hasn't mentioned anything about him, yet, and doesn't know that I know about him. Haven't asked her [red]because I still want to appear to be the all-knowing king of her existence[/red]...for a few more years anyway. Ummm...most likely she believes she is getting away with something by talking to this guy secretly. So until you reveal that you know about this, she is not going to believe you 'know all'. And forget about it being your house, your computer - it is YOUR daughter and your responsibility to protect her! Ask her about it!!! BTW, I have 4 kids (2 of them teenage girls) and I convinced them long ago that I know all and that I have spies everywhere. [:)] |
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Quoted: Quoted: Thanks for all the suggestions. I've done the keylogger thing. Was an eye-opener, but nothing too tought to handle. Well, you can't leave us dangling like this!!! This thread is worthless without LOGS! Seriously you have to tell us what's up now! [BD] |