Posted: 1/23/2004 7:40:24 AM EDT
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6.) No “trolling”. This means posting controversial or “valueless” topics simply to gain attention Well, it's been a while since we've had a worthwhile poop thread, so I thought I'd start one of my own. Let's talk about ass gaskets. Reading the Sears tool catalog is a very sacred experience. It should not be tainted by fears of cooties from the last guy's filthy ass. That's why man invented the ass gasket. Here we have a very simple, effective and disposable method to provide a sufficient barrier. An ass gasket can even provide neccessary thermal insulation between a man's cheebs and a potentially frigid seat. They're wonderful things, but come in a few varieties. So, I've come up with a little poll (I like polls! I like pie!) to find out what method the ARFCOM nation prefers. Some definitions: OEM: These are the factory-made ass gaskets that are generally provided in a wall dispenser. I personally prefer these, when available, but they are not without fault. In particular, if you do not completely punch out the center section, and allow it to dangle into the water, the ass gasket can, on occasion, be pulled into the hopper before you get situated. Log Cabin: This is a D-I-Y ass gasket, made from a suitable stack of TP arranged to provide a sufficient barrier between bum and ring. Sometimes additional layers are required, and that's usually easier to accomplich with a Log Cabin than an OEM. Hover: For those with exceptional quadrilateral strength, this is quite a feat. However, the increased separation from sphincter to bowl significantly increases the likelihood of a "backflush" when the bomb hits the target. Commando: The preferred method at home, to be sure, becaus I know whose ass has been there before. I've never used an ass gasket at home, but I have in the homes of others. However, I really try to avoid "paperwork" when I'm out of the home office. Other: Well, I really don't know what more there is, except Pakistani-Exchange-Student-Style, wher you actuall mount the seat with your feet and squat to poo. This is really tough, and with size 13 boots, and pushing 215, I don't thing the seats that I'm personally familiar with are up to the task. I'd be willing to learn of alternate methods, though. |
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It is not useless! I prefer OEM, but it is not too common. I agree with your critisism about it getting prematurely pulled in though. However, I have a way of dealing with that. The reason I prefer OEM has to do with its deployment speed when in capable hands. This is key because the only time I evacuate outside of my home is when I am in emergency status. |
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Quoted: It is not useless! I prefer OEM, but it is not too common. I agree with your critisism about it getting prematurely pulled in though. However, I have a way of dealing with that. The reason I prefer OEM has to do with its deployment speed when in capable hands. This is key because the only time I evacuate outside of my home is when I am in emergency status. You are exactly right about deployment speed of the OEM. Ha, ha, [b]Dredd308[/b] said, "pinch." By the way, what's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one. What's worse than sitting on a warm on? Sitting on a warm, wet one. |