[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Child support advice (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 5/24/2017 6:58:58 AM EDT
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Not for me but a female friend. She is divorced, two kids, father pays no child support because he has "no" income. According to her the ex's parents are paying their son in cash for working at the family business. She says they also run his bills through the business.
I'm baffled as to why a judge would allow this to go on for years like it has. She recently lost her job so the monthly negative cash flow is really crushing her. She does not have the funds to hire a lawyer to go after the ex. Any advice as to where she can turn for help? She has the kids the bulk of time, ex gets them every other weekend. |
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She needs to borrow, scrounge, donate plasma, work Backpage, whatever, to retain an attorney. Â Its the only way she has a chance to win.
They will do a financial forensic audit to find out what bills he has and how they are getting paid. There's got to be some pro-women, feminist organizations in Chicago she can turn to for pro bono legal help, especially recovering child support. Example, Adjust Fire from here: https://www.lafchicago.org/ |
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Most states have a child support collection agency run by the state, usually at no cost to the payee. Ours is run through our Department of Human Services.
Have her investigate that. A little Google search turned up Illinois agency. Child Support Enforcement |
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pretty sure there is a minimum child support in Illinois, $200 a month I think, if she's not got a support order she needs to get to child support recovery, they'll get her one.
even if he's not paying it, there is a bill adding up with the state and some day it will get collected and forwarded to the mother. if he ever gets an inheritence or cash windfall of any kind, it'll get garnished yea and unfortunately for us taxpayers she can run down and get on welfare pretty easily too. which then Daddy will get the bill for half of that too. grandparents sound like real winners too, side with daddy and screw the grandkids? |
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Rat him out to the IRS and the Illinois Department of Revenue. If he's being paid in cash, he's probably not paying income tax. 
EDIT: But how many would be willing to help a man, if things was reversed 
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Your state office of child support enforcement will decide (regardless of any previous court judgement) how much the sperm donor needs to pay each month, and proceed to make his life difficult; from seizing assets, deducting from employer, invalidating passport and driver's license to just making life hell... this was a Clinton era concept to go after deadbeat dads, she should give them a call.
Warning they are slow to move, but unstoppable once they get going. ETA and there is no appeal process, nor can his attorney do anything with them. Faceless bureaucracy! |
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Drop the kids off to the husband. ETA: (maybe not in this case but in general) Man works and can afford a stable home for the children. Women needs child support to take care of the children lets give them to her  |
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That is going to be really hard for her to prove. He AND his parents are scum if this is true. If the grandparents love the grandchildren they would not be doing this. Guys that do this kind of crap are worthless. I am currently paying $1,100 a month for one child and at one point I was paying a little over $1,500 a month for 2. I have NEVER missed any form of payment to my ex in the 9 years we have been divorced. I am also responsible for 78% of all medical bills. Both children had braces.... You do the math.
I set up direct deposit into her account and every 2 weeks my company drops $550 in it. My payments will stop in June of next year. Your friend is better off without that POS in her life. I know that doesn't pay her rent but that is her silver lining. |
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Not for me but a female friend. She is divorced, two kids, father pays no child support because he has "no" income. According to her the ex's parents are paying their son in cash for working at the family business. She says they also run his bills through the business. I'm baffled as to why a judge would allow this to go on for years like it has. She recently lost her job so the monthly negative cash flow is really crushing her. She does not have the funds to hire a lawyer to go after the ex. Any advice as to where she can turn for help? She has the kids the bulk of time, ex gets them every other weekend. Try a legal aid agency. Start at one of the women's shelters. After that OP, MYOB, unless you want the drama and/or to be dragged into this mess. |
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I'd question the circumstances that made him go grey man. Honestly if it's like the vast majority of divorces/custody arrangements I'd probably mind my own fucking business. Also more custody should be given to the one who can provide for the kids. Its not always best to go with the mother. |
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How is it her fault she can't take care of them and work a stable job at the same time? I assume you are aware of how ridiculously expensive day care is. The father is the deadbeat here. Quoted:
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Drop the kids off to the husband. ETA: (maybe not in this case but in general) Man works and can afford a stable home for the children. Women needs child support to take care of the children lets give them to her But how come I was able to work and raise a daughter without child support. (there are always exceptions) And I have seen a lot of cases where one parent manages to do it (mother or father) but the other side cant yet the courts still overwhelmingly give custody to the mom regardless of who is the better and more stable provider. |
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Not for me but a female friend. She is divorced, two kids, father pays no child support because he has "no" income. According to her the ex's parents are paying their son in cash for working at the family business. She says they also run his bills through the business. I'm baffled as to why a judge would allow this to go on for years like it has. She recently lost her job so the monthly negative cash flow is really crushing her. She does not have the funds to hire a lawyer to go after the ex. Any advice as to where she can turn for help? She has the kids the bulk of time, ex gets them every other weekend. |
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Go for 50% custody, then no one needs child support. Right? ETA: OP, there are so many organizations out there to help women take money from the baby daddy that I'm surprised one hasn't reached out to her already, offering to empty his bank account and throw him in prison. |
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I'm assuming that there is a standing support order against him, yes?
if so, get a lawyer or go to legal aid, and file a Motion to Show proof of income, including rent receipts, pay stubs, car notes, paid medical bills, etc.... someone is feeding this asshole and helping him his parents should be held in contrmpt of court for interferring with a court order, if one exists |
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Honestly, this. 50/50 should be the norm and child support/alimony should only exist in rare cases when one spouse is proven to be abusive by allegations that are proven beyond a reasonable doubt. OP ask her if she has full custody and if so why. If abuse isn't in her answer then she's a piece of shit that just had a better lawyer and wanted to do everything possible to punish her ex |
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I said it might not fit in this case. But how come I was able to work and raise a daughter without child support. (there are always exceptions) And I have seen a lot of cases where one parent manages to do it (mother or father) but the other side cant yet the courts still overwhelmingly give custody to the mom regardless of who is the better and more stable provider. |
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My kids go to bed hungry every night, but that's their step-dad's problem now. |
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Go for 50% custody, then no one needs child support. Right? |
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How is it her fault she can't take care of them and work a stable job at the same time? I assume you are aware of how ridiculously expensive day care is. The father is the deadbeat here. Quoted:
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Drop the kids off to the husband. ETA: (maybe not in this case but in general) Man works and can afford a stable home for the children. Women needs child support to take care of the children lets give them to her |
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"He doesn't work for us, we just give our beloved son money to help support him" Quoted:
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It has been my experience that if a little birdie told child support collections about a "cash" job, they will send the ones paying "cash" a withholding letter. |
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Funny how women want equality, get 50/50 but are not equal enough to pay their share of the 50%. Fucking bullshit. |
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Obviously because you make a good salary. It's possible the mother quit a good job or was unable to attend higher education due to cranking out the kids. My main point was the father needs to step up and pay for food and clothing for his kids. Quoted:
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I said it might not fit in this case. But how come I was able to work and raise a daughter without child support. (there are always exceptions) And I have seen a lot of cases where one parent manages to do it (mother or father) but the other side cant yet the courts still overwhelmingly give custody to the mom regardless of who is the better and more stable provider. I made adjustments to my lifestyle to put my child first. |
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Go for 50% custody, then no one needs child support. Right? The amount ordered is in theory to level the incomes between households. So if the non-custodial is making $60K a year and the custodial is making $25K. They will take away $17.5 K from the higher wage earner and give it to the lower rage earner this evens the income levels. I was paying my ex what a person make $30k a year would make. |
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Drop the kids off to the husband. ETA: (maybe not in this case but in general) Man works and can afford a stable home for the children. Women needs child support to take care of the children lets give them to her |
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How did that happen? If it's like most divorces I've seen then I got no fucking sympathy for her. Maybe she should just get a job. |
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This. Also more custody should be given to the one who can provide for the kids. Its not always best to go with the mother. |
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well, if she cant afford the kids maybe she she should give the kids to the father full time.
you know, for the best intrest of the kids then she wouldnt have to worry about collecting support from the father and she can just have 40 percent of her take home automatically withdrawn from her pay. it would just be soo much better for the kids but of course, thats never really an option. because its allways about the money. |
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Sounds like to me she should have kept her legs shut. If your dumb enough to fuck, or even get knocked up, by an idiot that has no work ethic or intention to make money and be a good dad, your just as much to blame as he is.
I guess some people have a hard time judging people, making mental notes on their behavior and getting to know how a person really is, before you fuck them. If you want to fuck and not get pregnant, tell her to get a dildo. A real cheap, if not free, option for her is to fuck a guy, get knocked up, that has a good job, and will be a good dad. He will naturally help her financially. I've seen this happen and now the boyfriend is paying all her bills, while his girlfriend just spreads her legs and cooks and cleans for him. Once they pop their kid out, I bet she'll hit the road and have him by the balls for alimony and child support until the kid is 18. My friend is an idiot and fails to realize she is a gold digger. The power of the little head is hard to control for some people I guess. |
