[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Thriving while single.. (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 3/22/2016 7:30:57 AM EDT
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Hey GD,
*Edit* I'm 33 Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? |
| If you are happy, keep doing what your doing man. Most of the time when you actively seek a women you dont find what you are looking for. Keep doing what your doing and enjoy the fuck out of life. Who knows maybe while your having fun she will jusy appear, don't be so immersed in fun that you miss the shot with an excellent lady. |
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Quoted:
Hey GD, Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? You answered your own question. How old are you? For instance, I have been "single" fort the past 5 years in that I haven't been in any committed relationships since myself and my previous fiancé broke up, it was a nasty breakup too. But I am also 28, and while I am perfectly content being single now, it isn't that I want or intend to be so forever, I just am happy with the way things are going right now so it would really have to be someone who really blew me away to make me want to have anything resembling a serious relationship. If you are in the same boat then just roll with it. It sounds like you are asking whether you should just live your life as you are living, which is making you happy, or force yourself into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Hell, my dad is 60 and just got serious with a new girlfriend, so even if you are a little bit older than me don't think that your window is closing and if you don't find someone NOW you will be forever alone. Just do you. |
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You answered your own question. How old are you? For instance, I have been "single" fort the past 5 years in that I haven't been in any committed relationships since myself and my previous fiancé broke up, it was a nasty breakup too. But I am also 28, and while I am perfectly content being single now, it isn't that I want or intend to be so forever, I just am happy with the way things are going right now so it would really have to be someone who really blew me away to make me want to have anything resembling a serious relationship. If you are in the same boat then just roll with it. It sounds like you are asking whether you should just live your life as you are living, which is making you happy, or force yourself into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Hell, my dad is 60 and just got serious with a new girlfriend, so even if you are a little bit older than me don't think that your window is closing and if you don't find someone NOW you will be forever alone. Just do you. Quoted:
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Hey GD, Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? You answered your own question. How old are you? For instance, I have been "single" fort the past 5 years in that I haven't been in any committed relationships since myself and my previous fiancé broke up, it was a nasty breakup too. But I am also 28, and while I am perfectly content being single now, it isn't that I want or intend to be so forever, I just am happy with the way things are going right now so it would really have to be someone who really blew me away to make me want to have anything resembling a serious relationship. If you are in the same boat then just roll with it. It sounds like you are asking whether you should just live your life as you are living, which is making you happy, or force yourself into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Hell, my dad is 60 and just got serious with a new girlfriend, so even if you are a little bit older than me don't think that your window is closing and if you don't find someone NOW you will be forever alone. Just do you. Edited in my age up top. 33 tho. |
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Hey GD, *Edit* I'm 33 Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? OP, I'm 39, single, never been married. I've dated off and on but currently don't have a GF. I don't have any regrets. The way I look at it is I have been blessed with a good life and I'm perfectly content alone, but if someone great comes into my life that would be even better. It seems when I'm actively looking for a girlfriend is when I have the worst luck. Don't settle for anything less than someone great for you and don't feel pressured to meet someone. I know too many people that ended up in failed marriages because they couldn't be alone or had to have someone around. |
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A few things to factor for your life:
Are you rich? Do you want kids? If you want kids, you're at that age where you want to start pretty soon. It should be at least a few years with a lady before you pop the question (to marry), first kid a year after that. Two kids? Tack 1-2 more years on top of that. So you're looking at being at least 36 when you start. Women your age will be getting close to menopause age. If you're rich, you can bag a much younger wife. Don't worry though, there are a fair number of 'grandpa dads', myself included. 
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I've kind of taken the same path OP. Had a few serious relationships that almost ended in marriage, what a mistake those would of been. I find myself happiest just working on things I have an interest in, living in the woods with my pup, playing with whatever toy I want next, traveling wherever/whenever, and just casually dating as I desire. I sure don't miss having to make decisions based on someone else's whims.
Hopefully will remain on track to retire from office life if I feel like it in ten years, then just focus on my side projects. There are a lot of women out there, don't throw away a happy life just to fit in with an unhappy society. |
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If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be.
I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. |
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If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck |
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Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck Quoted:
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If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck BigEasy is a woman 
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Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck Quoted:
Quoted:
If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck A) She is a she B) Don't confuse interderp speak for man speak. |
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If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. I cant ignore that multiple people notice my bit of change but I look at it differently. So for example instead of going to the cabin Friday night after work, Id spend the night home and make dinner for the two of us and then head to the cabin sat afternoon after she's left for work on the weekend. So I ended up spending less time doing just me stuff but I spent time with her that I felt was enjoyable for me too. Now that's just one item, and there's many more I'm sure. Okay so we didn't go hiking and ended up going to a winery for a tasting, not my first pick but I ended up having a pretty good time. Again, I'm looking it as time spent with her was enjoyable but maybe not as enjoyable as just doing something by myself like I was accustomed to while being single. Thanks for your post, Ill probably give your thoughts some consideration |
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A) She is a she B) Don't confuse interderp speak for man speak. Quoted:
A) She is a she B) Don't confuse interderp speak for man speak. Quoted:
BigEasy is a woman No shit einsteins, I was translating her woman speak to man speak. Seriously, if a woman changes you, you're beta and you need to man the fuck up and be confident/comfortable with who you are. |
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I've been divorced now for 13 years. I live alone, and don't have kids.
I LIKE and ENJOY being single. I live very well for a single woman my age. I have no plans to remarry, but have had 2 LTRs since my divorce--one 5 years, and another that lasted two. The one thing I can say about the one relationship that stands out is that it was EASY. It was easy for me to be me and allow him to be him and just meet somewhere in the middle. I never felt like I intruded into his time or that he intruded into mine. We liked doing pretty much all the same things, and the good times just rolled. I could be my normal, uncensored self and he just accepted it for what it was. I think given the right set of circumstances with the right person, the relationship itself will be easy. It just kind of takes care of itself. |
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If you're content and thriving on your own, just do your thing. There have been confirmed bachelors throughout the ages, and that's ok.
As for radically changing when you're in a relationship, I sort of agree with Snow. There are deeper issues there. It's one thing to spend time with your girl, but it shouldn't be at the expense of doing things you like doing. Being with someone shouldn't be a constant source of stress and tension. I mean, it's not always easy like Sunday morning, all sunshine and lollipops, but being constantly on edge and uncomfortable isn't a good thing. You shouldn't have to force it. And that sounds more like a personal issue that you should see a psychologist about. Like Snow said, not to succeed in a relationship, but just to be the healthiest version of you possible. ETA: it's ok to do things she likes doing as well, but common interests are a good thing. Winery instead of hiking is ok as long as sometimes it's hiking instead of winery. Trading out one thing you like (cabin time) for another thing you like (time with your woman) isn't a bad thing, although it may seem that way to your friends since they're seeing you less. But in the grand scheme of things, if you seem happier and less stressed on your own, perhaps that's how you should keep it for a while. |
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BigEasy is a woman Quoted:
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If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck BigEasy is a woman She's just saying she doesn't need a man to make her happy (in a co enabler way). She isn't needy. Confidence. And self-love. |
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Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. This is EVERY man once they start dating. They change. They stop their hobbies (or severely cut back), they stop hanging out with friends, their minds are never 100% free, they won't come out to dinner or social events unless there are other couples, etc., etc., As a single man for all but a year of my life, I have seen my friends go through it all. There's those who don't need a relationship (me), and there are those who simply cannot be single. I have a friend like that. He has forced himself to stay in a relationship just so he wouldn't be alone. He has dated some women with absolutely nothing in common with him just so he wouldn't be "single." If you are happy being single, then ride that wave as long as you can! |
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Hey GD, *Edit* I'm 33 Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? If you're happier being single, then do some woman a favor and remain single. I assure you womankind won't lament your decision. In fact, we'll be appreciative, as well as grateful for your self-awareness |
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I've been single my whole life, never even been on a serious date with anyone (has always been a one timer, after which the woman wanted nothing to do with me, not sure why).
I kinda wanted to be in a relationship and think I ought to settle down at some point but it kinda seems people, especially woman (feminism excuses a lot of bad behavior) are too narcissistic for relationships unless the guy is someone truly amazing (at first) like that guy from Twilight or something. If I wanted to find a woman that I have anything in common with I don't think I will ever find one, because truth is I'm so unique even finding someone 10% in common with me is hard enough. |
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This is EVERY man once they start dating. They change. They stop their hobbies (or severely cut back), they stop hanging out with friends, their minds are never 100% free, they won't come out to dinner or social events unless there are other couples, etc., etc., As a single man for all but a year of my life, I have seen my friends go through it all. There's those who don't need a relationship (me), and there are those who simply cannot be single. I have a friend like that. He has forced himself to stay in a relationship just so he wouldn't be alone. He has dated some women with absolutely nothing in common with him just so he wouldn't be "single." If you are happy being single, then ride that wave as long as you can! Quoted:
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Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. This is EVERY man once they start dating. They change. They stop their hobbies (or severely cut back), they stop hanging out with friends, their minds are never 100% free, they won't come out to dinner or social events unless there are other couples, etc., etc., As a single man for all but a year of my life, I have seen my friends go through it all. There's those who don't need a relationship (me), and there are those who simply cannot be single. I have a friend like that. He has forced himself to stay in a relationship just so he wouldn't be alone. He has dated some women with absolutely nothing in common with him just so he wouldn't be "single." If you are happy being single, then ride that wave as long as you can! Negative Ghost Rider, I flat out tell people interested that I'm A) A hunter B) Following up with point A, into firearms C) Believe in God This weeds out the time wasters and makes it easier for both parties to move on. If they're into the same thing or ok with the list then great, they can join me. This of course only applies to those interested in LTR as the other type of men won't give a damn obviously. I don't change my lifestyle for others but when you commit to a relationship part of being with the other person if the fact that you have less time to spend with other people (family, friends, etc) and your hobbies; only so much time in a day. I don't see that as myself changing, just my schedule changes is all. |
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Quoted: Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck Quoted: Quoted: If your personality changes and you're overly focused on pleasing GFs when you're dating, that's a sign there's an imbalance in your personality. Something that needs healing. If you were to meet a perfect match right now, there's a good chance she would see that deficiency and not be attracted to you. If I were you, I'd go see a shrink and try to fix that. Not specifically to be more 'dateable', just to be the healthiest, most balanced person I can be. I live alone and dine out alone and hike alone and I'm happy too. But I've used shrinks to fix my issues that made me less appealing to the more awesome guys. It's also helped me get along better with female friends. I'm overall more secure and confident and less 'hungry'. It makes life a lot more comfortable. Translated to man speak: You're beta as fuck  A beta female...  |
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Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. |
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Quoted: Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. Quoted: Quoted: Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. |
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Hey GD, *Edit* I'm 33 Need some internet advice. I've been part of 2 pretty solid threads here which have provided solid entertainment. Breaking up with a girl over her birthday weekend which fell on opening day of hunting season and dealing with the most insane women ive never met with online dating. Now those are just 2 glimpses into my life. Lots of laughs to be had but they don't really sum me up. Onto my main point. I've been told by multiple people and friends that since I've been alone again I've gotten back to being myself. I spend time at my cabin on the weekend, camping, hiking, atving/jeeping just general mountain life stuff. I've purchased a sailboat, and am getting excited to clean it up and put it in the river this spring and open up a new adventure. I go out to restaurants alone, and enjoy new foods and drinks and generally just freaking enjoy myself all the time. Now I of course asked these people why they thought that. They all gave me reasons of well you act different when you're entertaining/ with someone, you don't seem to relax and enjoy what your doing and didn't seem to actually go out and do the things you enjoy. It seems like they always saw me on guard and just tense all the time. Do I miss having a girlfriend around? Sure do. Do I enjoy being single? Sure do. So GD, I know the saying "find the right woman" etc etc etc and it will be awesome. I fully want to believe ill find one but my question is. Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? It's not for everyone, but if it is for you then by all means go for it. I know of a couple guys like you, same thing. I usually complain when they are dating because they are totally different just as you explained. They are much better off single than attached, it's just how they are wired. I say enjoy life. |
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Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. 
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| I am 43 and just got out of a LTR. Being single isn't a bad thing. I believe OP needs to find a woman that is more into his lifestyle, rather than trying to adapt to someone else's lifestyle. There are plenty of women out there that would like to spend a weekend in a cabin, go sailing, go atving, etc, with you. It's cool to try new things, but if you're not into dancing, why would you go to a club? You need to put your happiness first. |
| Not sure how you guys do it.....I've been with women since I was 16 years old......maybe a six month break in there as a single guy but that's about it. I love the hell out of women, enjoy their company and am at ease in their presense. Job-wise I've had long seperations from the softer half having lived the life of dudes for a couple decades but never could understand how someone could not enjoy having a signifuicant other to come home to. To each their own I suppose. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. https://media.giphy.com/media/dC9DTdqPmRnlS/giphy.gif |
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Not sure how you guys do it.....I've been with women since I was 16 years old......maybe a six month break in there as a single guy but that's about it. I love the hell out of women, enjoy their company and am at ease in their presense. Job-wise I've had long seperations from the softer half having lived the life of dudes for a couple decades but never could understand how someone could not enjoy having a signifuicant other to come home to. To each their own I suppose. I think you're confusing men here not putting it on the pedestal contrast to it being nice to have. I don't know of any personally that wouldn't agree with it being nice to having a compatible SO to share their life with but some of us however just live life as it comes instead of being desperate feeling we have to be with someone to fill a void. |
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Continue to live your life as you choose.
If you become a different person while you have a girl friend then she is not the one. The girl friend should enjoy doing SOME of the things that you do. The girl friend should love you for the person that you are. Always note however that women IN GENERAL tend to want to take on a project [i.e. change you in some way]. Sometimes this is good and other times it is just plain wrong. I didn't marry until I was 37. I lived my life as I chose. I happened into meeting my wife while doing some of the things that I chose to do and liked to do. I still didn't commit to marrying her for 7 years. We dated for 7 years. Another piece of advice, don't live with a girl that you are not married to. Even if you are engaged. Too many friends I have seen this and not one ended well. Some ended better than others, but they all ended. |
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Quoted: Beta Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. Or grown up beyond emotional adolescence. |
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Continue to live your life as you choose. If you become a different person while you have a girl friend then she is not the one. The girl friend should enjoy doing SOME of the things that you do. The girl friend should love you for the person that you are. Always note however that women IN GENERAL tend to want to take on a project [i.e. change you in some way]. Sometimes this is good and other times it is just plain wrong. I didn't marry until I was 37. I lived my life as I chose. I happened into meeting my wife while doing some of the things that I chose to do and liked to do. I still didn't commit to marrying her for 7 years. We dated for 7 years. Another piece of advice, don't live with a girl that you are not married to. Even if you are engaged. Too many friends I have seen this and not one ended well. Some ended better than others, but they all ended. This man has some good advice. |
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Quoted: Or grown up beyond emotional adolescence. Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Don't go for someone who makes you want to be a better person. That shit gets exhausting after a few months and you'll go back to being the POS you are, that ALL of us are. Sorta disagree here with that wording: - If she forces me to be someone I'm not, then yes. - If she doesn't do a thing, acts herself and accepts me for me but the result of being with her changes me for the better naturally, then no; that's the best type of person to be with IMO. Or grown up beyond emotional adolescence. |
| You should do what feels natural to you. Do what makes you happy, and stop worrying about what other people think. I'm not saying that you are literally "worried" about the opinion of others, I'm saying you need to realize that what others do, is completely immaterial to you. |
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Those of you whom have lived large chunks or all of your life without a significant other. Do you regret not trying harder to find someone or maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? No, I was in the same boat as you for a long time. It was pretty damn nice being free all through my 20's. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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I'm happier divorced than I ever was married but that just may be a skewed perspective since the last few years of my marriage were absolute hell. I've sworn off legal entanglements with women since I lucked out of the last one without paying alimony or giving her part of my pension. I've dated a few women since then and some were great, others not so great but thankfully ending those relationships is as simple as saying "it's over". Sometimes I think about the possibility of living with another woman but I'm pretty particular about a lot of things in my home and enjoy privacy and quiet too much for that to ever work I think.
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maybe making something work that was okay ? I ask because, I'm kinda thinking life is pretty good right now being alone. I have a better quality of life and I seem to enjoy myself more being able to purchase and do whatever I want with that single life income. Its been noticed by multiple of my close friends that I seem to thrive while being alone. Is this a bad lifestyle to keep with? never settle All of us should thrive as individuals and as partners. It shouldn't feel like an either/or; relationships should feel better than solitude, but solitude shouldn't feel bad by comparison. |
| I think I'm the same way OP. Its hard to relax when I'm with someone. Always feel like I have to entertain or something. That and I've also given up 99% of my free time to do the things I like it seems like. I used to go to most of the shoots in this area. Last year I went to two. When I was single I could take my kayak to the lake and go camping and fishing around 15 times a year. Last year I went twice. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice gal, but we definitely have our differences of opinions on a lot of things. One of the main things I was attracted to (other than looks) was her set of morals, but boy there are some things that I do not agree with at all. |